Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Forks: An Adventure I'll Never Forget.

If I may, I'd like to extend this smush-fest just a little bit longer... so many of the things that Snarkier Than You said in her absolutely beautiful post last night really rang true with me, too. Forks was a magical experience.

For my entire life, I've never been lucky enough to have a really tight group of friends. I always felt I was on the outside looking in, wanting desperately to fit somewhere. I'm not saying I don't have close friends, I have a few. But they are not the kind I talk to every day and share all my inner most secrets with. They are not the kind I can make dirty comments around shamelessly, share my ridiculous love of Twilight and all things RPattz with, and they are definitely not the kind of friends that would make an epic pilgrimage 3000 miles from home.

I'll be the first to admit my personality is a little off. I'm like my dad in that way... he's the reason for my incredibly sick sense of humor and my inability to not be sarcastic. I always figured people just didn't get me. JJ and STY get me. And it's their acceptance into the Twitarded world that has given me the chance to form friendships closer than any I've had in my entire life. I'd seriously go on vacation with all you crazy bitches again in a heartbeat.

I can be myself with you guys. I can say what I want and write what I want without feeling judged. I finally feel... home. It took me 40 years to get there but I did and I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars or one night with RPattz... errr... maybe that's not a good example. Looking back on the Forks trip now that I'm back into the boring rhythm of real life, I realized how this trip became less about Twilight the books or Twilight the movie, and more about the friendships forged through a common love for Twilight. And for this I am forever grateful.

For most of us, we were rooming with people we'd never met in person. And truthfully, I miss waking up with VitaminR sleeping in the bed next to me. I miss her recount of the crazy Twitter feed each morning recapping the previous night's debauchery. I miss snuggling on the bed watching Robert Pattinson videos on YouTube. I miss her mad decorating skillz - our FSE scared more than one person to a near death.

I also miss Jenny Jerkface coming to our room after the closing down the bar to drink even more and recap the day's events. I miss being able to give Snarkier Than You a big hug when she was feeling blue. I miss giving Myg support as she desperately pounded out the final edits on the last chapters of Osa Bella. I miss the constant thieving of the Eclipse poster and it's journey from our room door to JJ/STY/Myg's room door. And I miss that TexasKatherine was not there to share in this amazing experience with us.

Most of all I miss the experience - one I'll never forget. It's rare you can get that many women together who all share the same habit and not come up against some drama. What a happy, incredibly wonderful group we were! And the emotion I saw displayed on Saturday night makes me all the more certain that these are relationships that will last well beyond Twilight.

While I love to meet new people, the long and short of it is I'm still fairly shy. I have a difficult time throwing myself into a group of people and joining in on the conversation. If I didn't get a chance to talk with you, I apologize. It's not because I didn't want to, but probably my shyness keeping me from doing it. The whole weekend was very emotionally overwhelming for me. If we didn't get a chance to chat, I'd still love to hear from you if you want to drop me a line at, or follow me on Twitter @latchkeywife, or friend me on Facebook under Lachkee Wif (stupid Facebook is an asshole and rejected the real spelling because yeah, this totally sounds more like a real name.)

And pictures... email me any pictures you may have of me... I would love to see them!!

Much love, tight hugs and wet sloppy kisses! I miss you all very much...

P.S. Did I really just write an entire post without saying "fuck" once? What the fuck is up with that fucking shit? I'm losing my fucking mind...


  1. Hey, LKW. I totally get how you feel. I didn't get a chance to talk to you except for "goodbye" on Saturday night, but I have some great pics of your big-girl panties, among other things. :) Expect an e-mail!

    I think that's the thing I have loved most about this community: the friendships found and forged across distances and differences. I'm surrounded by really judgmental people in my RL (not everyone, but lots of them), ad it's so great to be able to come online and be myself and be accepted. And experiencing that in person was just amazing.

    So we all move to Forks when?

  2. You're clearly losing your edge. Forks made you a sap.


    I was fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to get to know you via email this past year, and am so stoked we got to finally meet in person and chat a bit.

    You were one of the 1st blogs I followed and you also graciously helped me with my blogs html. For that, I'm forever grateful.

    I know I'll see you again, and it better be at Blogher in San Diego baby!

    Love ya. Hardcore.

  3. LKW, you know I heart you. You always have a place to stay in Hawaii, mmmkay? As long as you don't mind my two kids, two 80 lb dogs and one mean ass cat.

    Now how about I come out to the East Coast? What's our next trip?


  4. It was great to meet you even if it was just that first night in Seattle. I suffer the same shyness you have. My only regret in Forks is not being more outgoing and talking to you, JJ, STY, and VitaminR more. And every other person I didn't have the guts to introduce myself too. I always think, "they won't care to talk to littl old me. They probably don't even know my blog." Sorry, all the kids in school ingraned that in me for 12 years and it's hard to grow out of it I guess.

    So to get to know you more I will follow you on twitter, and if I get the gets, send you an email. You all seemed soooo cool and down to earth. Next time I will come a bit more out of my comfort zone.

  5. I am SO not done getting misty-eyed over this trip!!! And i GET what you said - being shy, having a hard time meeting people - that's me that's me! Although i always say once you get to know me, you can't shut me up (er you have all probably noticed that by now lol).

    and for me? totally with you about this being about all of the people and not so much about twilight, somehow. although i suppose we gotta give props where props are due - lol! yeah, yeah, thank you stephenie meyer! now come hang with us and we'll buy you a diet coke! heck i'll make you a virgin diet coke jello shot, m'kay??

    p.s. lkw, you so fucking had this fucking this free of fucking "fucks" that i fucking thought you fucking had it. fuck. maybe next fucking time, aye?

    : )

    p.p.s. er i think i see why we'll never hang with SM... we need to clean up our acts first. dang it.

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  7. I get how you feel. I'm sorry I missed the trip, but even without being there I can get an inkling of the emotion you experienced. I've had this kind of bonding before (lucky me, I know) and therefore I appreciate how precious it is to find a group of people (or hell, even one person) who you can be your true, whole self with. And the word is "precious". Do not underestimate the value of this, it is a gift and needs to be treated with care.

    I would follow you on Twitter, but I have no fucking idea for the life of me how the fuck Twitter works. Is there a tutorial for Twitter-challenged fucktards like myself? I'm with the Facebook bitches for now. You can find me under my real name, Trish Paige Coyne. Yep, that's my name, and I ain't afraid to use it. ;)

  8. It really sounds like you guys had the time of your lives!!! I'd have loved to have joined you - if you weren't on the other side of the bloody world it might have been possible!!! Curse living in Gods own country here in Australia - seriously, you all should do the pilgrimage out here with Oprah - I'd love to see you guys liven up her posse ROFL oh that would be freaking hilarious!! hahaha

  9. What's with all the fucking sap! :) Totally just kidding...I am loving ALL the recaps of the fuckawesome experience that was last weekend!

    I fucking love that you quoted that stuttering bitch, Bella! And the sarcasm, I think, is one of the reasons we ALL come back here, day after day.

    I love that there was lots of drinking, a teensy bit of Ho hiking, and NO drama!

    And occasionaly, even LKW doesn't say, "Fuck!" You are so fucking fired! :) I tried to make up for it in this fucknut boring comment!

    You bitches are the GREATEST!!!

    Love, Jen

    @LwE-I find it funny (ironic, not haha) that you commented that noone would care to talk to little ol' you! I was sitting at the same table as you on Thursday (Fucking loved the "Team Mini Edward" shirt, btw!!), and I was too scared to tell you that I LOVE your blog!! You crack my shit up! I wish I had the balls to have said "Hi!" to more people.

    Oh well...there's always next fucking time!

  10. @Twired Jen is SO not kidding!! But I love y'all as sappy motherfuckers. Shit, it was one hell of an experience.

    @Living With Edward - I had a good time talkin' to ya. And you better come up to me next time and give me a big fat hug. ;)

    Okay, I refuse to cry tonight but I seriously think this community is the best community EVAH. The end.

  11. @lostrosebrown: That is ironic. I wish you would have said hi. Another person to talk to! Next time is right. Can't wait.

    @JJ: I'll be right over.

  12. One of my favorite things in Forks was watching Twitards squeal & hug as they met their online friends in person for the first time. We all had an instant connection, like we'd known each other for years.

    And all of you bloggers who always keep us laughing and connected were special celebrities near and dear to our hearts. It made me smile so much when I saw someone pull @LivingWEdward over to meet a whole table of her bloggy followers and another time when a car came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road cause someone recognized Mrs P and TwiredJen walking down the street.

    This is such an awesome community and I'm so grateful and proud to be part of it. I vote for doing this again somewhere in 2011!! (but please not the weekend of the Breaking Dawn premiere)

  13. Well said LatchkeyWife. I am glad you stepped out of your comfort zone because if you didn't I wouldn't have gotten to meet you and that would have been a sad thing. Thank you for everything you did for this trip and everything you do for Twitardia. I love you and I am so grateful you are here with us. I couldn't imagine it any other way. Until next time.

  14. @LKW - "this trip became less about Twilight the books or Twilight the movie, and more about the friendships forged through a common love for Twilight"

    You nailed it! Twilight just gave us the way to find and love each other.

    I think we need a do-over cause I didn't get a chance to talk/fawn over a bunch of people. And I totally missed seeing Chimpsten! Altho running into STY and MYG in the store while waiting for the ferry was the icing on an awesome weekend.

  15. I agree it was so much more than Twilight. It is really hard to explain that to people at home. I had an amazing time this past weekend. As a shy person I was glad I did take the chance to get out of my comfort zone! I wish I took the chance to get to know more people. I only briefly got the chance to talk to you when we were coming to the party on Saturday Night and you gave me a great said you couldn't believe I was a grandma! That made me feel good. :)

    Thanks again for a awesome weekend!

  16. @LKW---I will always remember turning to my right during our Karaoke debacle and simultaneously coming to the conclusion that they fucked up the lyrics on the monitor. Good times...

    Or when I saw you for the first time in Seattle, or when you put your panties on your head. All good memories...

    By the way, in case any of you forgot...WE WENT TO FRIGGIN FORKS!!!!!!!!!

  17. This post read my mind tonight. I just started writing a comment but it's too long so I decided I'll email it to you instead. Love you ladies..... you all rock my world hardcore.

  18. FIST PUMP TO THE SKY IN VICTORY!!! Latchy, baby, I think you got this shit on lock. I keep sitting at the computer, planning to write my blog post for ilvoeboyswhosparkle, and I keep having to stop and reflect, rather than write out what kind of shitfuckawesomeness we all experienced. Love you. Love you hard.

    P.S. I totally checked the mail this morning and there were 2 postcards from FORKS in my mailbox. TO me, FROM me. Because I wanted the memory. I didn't expect to tear up a little bit thinking about the badass times...but I did. And I probably will for a few more days. Because holy fuck, tomorrow it will be one week since I met most of you IRL. And even if I "knew" you before, our lives are completely altered by tangible evidence of existence. And it blows my mind how fucking AMAZING we all are.

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  20. Meeting you Twitardy Gods was like meeting fucking rockstars...serious!

    I too suffer from trying-to-go-out-and-meet-new-friends-is-a-bitch disease.I am as self conscious as a one leged stripper trying to pole dance for the first time, and can be very insecure. Thank god they have medication for this... alcohol.

    Walking in Thursday night made me want to shart a little. But I couldnt believe how welcoming everyone was and how quickly we were absorbed into the cackling bitch pack that must have scared the she shit out of those local boys. It was like instant friends all weekend.

    I'm terminaly single, mommy 24/7, and a student so I dont get out much. This blog(hhm..and Twilight) sometimes keep me sane. So needless to say, meeting all you bitches was was totally fucktastic and I so hope we do this again.It doesnt even have to be in FORKS(but forks was pretty cool), we could go urban camping for all I care. Name the time and place... and I'll grab my shopping cart!

  21. Oh LKW how I love you so. I miss sleeping with you too...ooops that came out wrong. No really I just love how it all clicked. Honestly I think it already had clicked but none of us fully trusted it until we saw each other in the flesh. When you ran down the terminal at the airport and into my arms it was signed, sealed, and delivered. I love you hard Forks Wife.

    What a fucking fabulous time we had. It all seems like it went too fast now. Three nights seemed like more than enough time when we were planning it seems like it went by in a blur.

    I keep saying, "Jesus Mother Fucking Hamster Fucker" in my best Maine accent. It makes me happy.

    Miss you, miss you all. Sniff.

  22. Oh pleez pleez pleez let there be a 'Twitarded in Forks 2011' meet. I promise, I'll start saving and preparing my family for my departure now.

    Having read the accounts from all three of you, I keep having real ::headdesk:: moments at the thought that I didn't even try to make it happen for me this year. I had so many excuses - the cost; the distance; the fact that my family would have laughed in my face if I had suggested I might want to go. (The fact is, they don't even know Twitarded exists - and they've never heard of Chloe Cougar :-o ).

    But I totally get it now. As @LatchkeyWife so eloquently put it: "this trip became less about Twilight the books or Twilight the movie, and more about the friendships forged through a common love for Twilight". That's what I'm sayin'. That's what this community is for me. And I think I might just be able to crawl out of my shyness shell and meet you all in person one day - it would be such a BLAST!!!!!!

    Anyhoo, thanks for another lovely post - and the pics are making me so jealous! I thought it was meant to rain there all the time? What's with the blue skies????

    Let's get Twitarded in Forks 2011 trending!!!

    CC xx

  23. I totally get the shyness and the surprising emotions that come along with an adventure like this, LKW. I've been listening to an online radio station for about 7 years or so but it's much more than that, it's a community. I went to my first 'meet up' a few years back and thought I would p*ss myself with nervousness. But you know what? Most people felt that way. Hardly any of us had ever met, people came from all across the country and it was f*cking awesome. And I left there with the beginings of what has become amazing friendships. That's why I was so bummed to have missed this trip. To have been brought together over such a specific fondness (ok, who am I kidding... OBSESSION) is pretty kick ass and I adore all the women of Twitarded and so wished I could have met you in person. So I truly hope this wasn't the one and only meet up. Pretty please?? With a cherry and sparkly peen on top??

  24. Wow, a softer side of LKW, free of f-bombs? Hold the presses! :)

    I gushed on the last post, and as it's not even 10AM, I'm not going to make myself misty-eyed by doing it again. However - I'm totally still dragging my feet around, no energy for anything, and last night Mr. XKR asked me how hard we partied that I'm still tired. I explained that I had Mom with me (hey Mom!) and did not party that hard (not that I would have otherwise, errr... yeah) :) but that it was an emotional letdown now that it's over. I could see that he was going to laugh - because his minimal exposure to Twitardia has been to things like DML and posts about #2 - but then he saw that I was getting all verklempt and he kind of looked at me like I was mentally unstable. I tried to explain that you guys are important and that I didn't expect to feel so much and he just listened... pretty sure he had no idea what to say to that!

    Anyway, long story short, <3 yall!

  25. I have lots of friends. I'm pretty gregarious. I have friends I've had since grade school and a metric shit ton more I've picked up along the way.

    I like to think of my friends as threads in the tapestry of my life. And up until Twilight, I had a pretty respectable and stylish tapestry.

    And then these sparkly threads started appearing. Bright and shiny, weaving themselves into the fabric of my life and making my tapestry just plain fucking breathtaking. YOU, twitards, are my sparkly threads. My tapestry would be so bland without you dazzling SpunkDumpsters!!!

    LKW, JJ, STY, VitR & Myg - I flove you all and THANK YOU SO MUCH for having the balls to execute this epic adventure.

    My only complaint is that I could have stayed for another week and not absorbed all of the awesome we had going on in FORKS.



  26. It's clear, LKW, that I have to go next year! The saving is beginning now. We HAVE to go again next year, right? Since I didn't get to go this year. I have family in Seattle so that will be helpful. Sorta. Maybe I can get them indoctrinated... Like

  27. @LKW - You had me at "that's what she said." I don't even remember what we were all talking about other than you said that and I knew you were just as awesome in person as in bloggy world. (Not that there was ever any doubt!) I was glad to get to hang out with you a little away from all the Lounge insanity on Friday night.

    I've said it before and probably won't ever stop saying it, but here goes (again) @LKW, @STY, @JJ you are all so incredible, thanks for bringing us all together and giving us a place to let our freak flags fly high and proud. YOU ROCK!

  28. OH MAN!! I'm totally one of those people that didn't get to talk to you! But I wanted to! Again my own shyness prevailed! I am totally going to friend you on FACEBOOK!! Love you long time LKW!!

  29. yes, we really do have to go again next year; meanwhile, if any of you comes through Seattle, please look me up and know you have a place to stay; my secret Twitard email is

  30. ***whispers to everyone*** I said mother fucker to LKW at check-in Saturday night in FORKS! mmwwahh! YOU LADIES ROCK!!
    ***runs off giggling***

  31. Oh, LKW, I love you. You are really fucking funny and fun to talk to.

    And ditto to what @kintail said. Needed more time, didn't get to talk to everyone etc.


  32. Congrats babes - epic experience. Wish I'd been there - was there in spirit tho. Your pic of the surf just made my desktop - beautiful. Love you girls - you're awesomesauce. More more more!!!

  33. Listen, if you guys keep posting this sappy stuff, my post-forks blues are only going to get worse. LOL. Kidding!

    This shin dig needs to be a week long next time.

  34. What Mama Cougar said. She is such an eloquent twat waffle. XO

  35. Hello ladies welcome home to you all! You're making me all warm and fuzzy (or is that my G&T?) reading all about the group hug/motorboating that it sounds like Forks was for all who attended. I am truly envious that I was en route back from China and couldn't be there.

    But reading about it all, more than anything I'm just really feeling sated by having you all here. You are my points of light and reason...well, maybe not reason. But at least points of light as we all reason our way through RL. I honestly feel like you all create a safety net spread about the country (and world!) for me. And I love to read that when we meet in real life that there's a connection and we don't just meet and then blink blankly at one another.

    I travel tons for work (on my way to NJ within the next few months, hint hint)and would love to meet some of you as I move about. We need a map!

    My only consolation for being in China and missing the FOOOORRRKKKS pilgrimage is that while there, in a little hole-in-the-wall DVD store, for about $1.50, I got Eclipse on DVD.
    Yep, now you want me to visit you, don'tcha?

    But now I must go back to catching up on all the posts I missed while gone, because since JJ/STY/LKW don't have a filter, the Chinese government loaned them one. Yep, no Twitarded in China.

  36. Late to the party as always.

    I missed you guys so much when you were gone. My world was like a starless sky. I started writing letters to Alice that came back undeliverable.

    Thanks for the sand art. You also bought me jewelry, right? Right?!

  37. OMG.. I got really emotional reading your post... Twilight does that! It brings people together and form new friendships! I had the same experience!

    Beautiful words!!!

  38. @LKW - You were such a surprise to meet. I didn't think you'd look like you did and I just couldn't imagine all that filth coming out of your mouth and fingertips, and then you started drinking...

    And then you got your Big Girl Panties!

    We will definitely hang out more next time, but for a first time meeting - it rocked cocks!

    Thanks for all you do! We love you!

    And now the FUCKING mushfest is over. MWAH! xoxoxo

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  40. And you're absolutely right - this all goes WAY beyond Twilight and has taken us by our cold dead hearts and brought our sarcastic, foul-mouthed, sickminded asses together.

    Twitarded is the home of the coolest bitches in the world! And you're totally stuck with me. :)

    -SV (Violet Delights)

  41. Meeting you and JJ that first night in Seattle was a highlight. It was nice to be able to talk to you in a small group before your celebrity status whisked you away at the other events ;)

    I followed Twitarded and your old blog very early on and had them as separate identities in my head. So when you came on board Twitarded, I understood the need to lighten the blogging load and got that your wicked sense of humor fit here, but it wasn't until I saw all of you together in Washington that it just clicked. You are a true Twitard. Add Myg and VitaminR into the mix, and this is one crazy ass family that I'm proud to be a part of.

    I will forever have memories of you striking a pose in front of Bella's truck and wearing the infamous Red Bella Pattinson Panties.

    So glad I didn't miss out on this trip, LKW!


  42. Late to the party as always.

    I missed you guys so much when you were gone. My world was like a starless sky. I started writing letters to Alice that came back undeliverable.

    Thanks for the sand art. You also bought me jewelry, right? Right?!

  43. What Mama Cougar said. She is such an eloquent twat waffle. XO


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