How will I ever explain to Mr. TK that I got pregnant on someone else's honeymoon? This got me thinking—which is frightening in and of itself—what would our love child look like? Would little TK Pattinson have my blue eyes and RPattz's chiseled jaw? Would he/she have my boring, lifeless hair or would they be crowned with Rob's unbridled coiffure which carries its own passport? Inquiring (sick, debased, incorrigible, etc, etc) minds want to know.
I found a little website that allows you to "make babies with HOT celebs!" Naturally, I assumed they were going to facilitate my trip to Brazil and had my bags half packed before I realized they only allow you to combine your photo with that of a celebrity's. I guess I can unpack now. Bastards.
I scrolled through the famous faces to find my future baby daddy. The usual suspects were all present, and then there were a few that gave me pause.
I'm pretty sure I'm more likely to ride RPattz's cock pony than Ricky Martin's. Just sayin'.
Ohai, Frodo. Can you ditch the ring & help me find Mr. Pattinson?
I'd tap Charles Manson's ass before Chris Brown's.
Now you're just fucking with me, baby-making site.
I found, and you may need to sit down for this, there were no Robert Pattinson pictures preloaded. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Luckily, I was able to upload my own picture of "my partner." I have a couple pictures of Mr. Pattinson saved on my computer, give or take a few hundred. I knew I was saving those for a reason. I uploaded my picture and that of my future baby daddy and waited with bated breath for a picture of our little love muffin.
My, TKesmee, what big...everything you have.
My, TKesmee, what big...everything you have.
Maybe if I try a different picture of myself I'll yield better results. Rob could fuck a wildebeest and churn out better looking spawn than that. Take 2:
Maybe I'm overly harsh, but my baby belongs in a bell tower.
Maybe I'm overly harsh, but my baby belongs in a bell tower.
What happens when I combine my DNA with Edward Cullen? You know, smexy Edward Cullen who had me swooning when he was just words on a page.
"Hi, mommy. I'm going to kill you in your sleep. And eat you."
"Hi, mommy. I'm going to kill you in your sleep. And eat you."
[Note from STY: My what a wide face your baby had for absolutely no fucking reason whatsoever. What - does this program pick up on latent genes or something???]
[Note from TK: TK Cullen is a pageant kid. I'm going to perform an at-home hysterectomy now.]
Since I've guaranteed I will never sleep again, we should move this party elsewhere. Jenny Jerkface was being, well, a jerkface about my fake babies. She was seizing with laughter over my freaky children. Then the laughter abruptly stopped.
Lil' JJ Pattinson has British teeth. The software has become self-aware.
JJ's son is legally obligated to introduce himself to his neighbors.
JJ Cullen. She'll steal your heart. And your soul.
[Note from TK: TK Cullen is a pageant kid. I'm going to perform an at-home hysterectomy now.]
Since I've guaranteed I will never sleep again, we should move this party elsewhere. Jenny Jerkface was being, well, a jerkface about my fake babies. She was seizing with laughter over my freaky children. Then the laughter abruptly stopped.
Lil' JJ Pattinson has British teeth. The software has become self-aware.
JJ's son is legally obligated to introduce himself to his neighbors.
JJ Cullen. She'll steal your heart. And your soul.
[Note from STY: I'm scared... someone hold me...]
[Note from JJ: Dude, why does my kid have such gnarly teeths? WTF is that? I have nice teeth. JJ-esmee has fucked choppers, man.]
Additional note from JJ: Okay, the longer I stare at it, the more creeped out I become. It's all ha-ha when it's someone else. But it's really fucking weird when you're all "oh, wait, he/she has my eyes..." ]
Maybe Latchkey Wife will have better luck. She's already short like a baby, so the software shouldn't have to work too hard.
[Note from JJ: Dude, why does my kid have such gnarly teeths? WTF is that? I have nice teeth. JJ-esmee has fucked choppers, man.]
Additional note from JJ: Okay, the longer I stare at it, the more creeped out I become. It's all ha-ha when it's someone else. But it's really fucking weird when you're all "oh, wait, he/she has my eyes..." ]
Maybe Latchkey Wife will have better luck. She's already short like a baby, so the software shouldn't have to work too hard.
LKW Cullen, are you sporting an ankle monitor?
[Note from LKW: It's a face only a mother can love... if the mother is blind. And has no hands to feel-see the kid's creepy features. So if I'm blind and handless, I'll love the little mutant to death.]
Let's try Snarkier Than You. One out of four of us has to have normal looking kids, right? Right?!
Perhaps not. STY Pattinson looks like Erykah Badu.
Ohai, Benjamin Button Pattinson aka Mr. Roper vs. a wood chipper.
It's United Colors of Benetton at the STY house. STY + Edward = Russian gulag reject.
If this doesn't get me kicked out of the fandom, I don't know what will. Little Shakespeare Pattinson, meet the world!
Let's try Snarkier Than You. One out of four of us has to have normal looking kids, right? Right?!
Perhaps not. STY Pattinson looks like Erykah Badu.
Ohai, Benjamin Button Pattinson aka Mr. Roper vs. a wood chipper.
It's United Colors of Benetton at the STY house. STY + Edward = Russian gulag reject.
[Note from JJ: Seriously, TK. Our kids look like something from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (not going there, not going there...) WTF? STY's got the best looking kids, even if that second one looked like he had that old person disease. ]
[Note from STY: Um, did we adopt a foreign baby??? What's with the turban? And baby # 2 looks like just-born benjamin button, but uglier. When did I become Angelina Jolie with uglier babies??? Gonna go hurl up my dinner now.]
[Note from JJ: # 2 has progeria (I can't believe I know this, I have problems) It's the old man disease. And your freaky kids are still cuter than my "products-of-radioactive-fallout kids" so shush.]
[Note from STY: Um, did we adopt a foreign baby??? What's with the turban? And baby # 2 looks like just-born benjamin button, but uglier. When did I become Angelina Jolie with uglier babies??? Gonna go hurl up my dinner now.]
[Note from JJ: # 2 has progeria (I can't believe I know this, I have problems) It's the old man disease. And your freaky kids are still cuter than my "products-of-radioactive-
This was disconcerting to say the least. Is it us? Are we h00rs at Twitarded Central not capable of making fantastically gorgeous children with a fantastically gorgeous man? There's only one way to tell. We must combine the DNA of Robert with...Robert himself. Stay with me. Two positives always make a positive, or some shit like that. Did I mention I wasn't a math major? I present to you all [insert drumroll] RPattz Squared!
If this doesn't get me kicked out of the fandom, I don't know what will. Little Shakespeare Pattinson, meet the world!
Oh my. I just peed a little. That was HILARIOUS!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm suddenly much more comfortable with my decision not to procreate... If I can't make a pretty baby with RPatts, what chance would I have of making a non-horror-movie-worthy spawn with anyone else???
ReplyDeleteThat was the scariest thing I've ever seen. Eye bleach, please!
ReplyDeleteTK- You had me at "Some of the recent Isle Esme pics have caused me to drop eggs like a clown fish."
ReplyDeleteHoly effing shit girl, you are FUNNY. I almost spit wine all over my lap top...and had that happened, I would have sued your sweet ass.
OMG, you kill me. Dead.
xo J
ROFL! I can't stop laughing over here, oh lord!
ReplyDeleteJSYK, I went on there once and put my husband's and my face in to make a baby and guess what? It didn't look ANYTHING like our real life son. dirty liars!
@Twired Jen--1. My ass is sweet. 2. I keep my lawyer on speed dial. Trufax. 3. I doubt you could get any money from me once RPattz's attorneys are finished with me. I might have to change my name to "NorthofMexicoKatherine."
ReplyDeleteAfter The Bentist and I had a good laugh at your fugly future kids...
ReplyDeleteTwo Words:
RECESSIVE. GENES.
VW: Spitin (vb) [spI: t'n] Eng.
Don't lie...You know those kids are spitin images of y'all.
I think this might be the funniest Twitarded post yet. SRSLY. And there's nothing I could say about any of these babies that wouldn't jinx the future of any additional children Manntastic & I decide to make. So I'll just leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteMy bigger question, however, is WHO THE HELL picks the outfits? Are they randomized? Someone out there has the job (or just spends a lot of time running a, uh, website) of selecting random clothing & accessories to put on celebrity/plebian progeny. WTF with the turban?
Two positives DO make a positive. I'm positive I just wet my pants.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing more frightening than making ficticious babies on the 'net is making real ones.
I know. Two teens live with me. One is so beautiful, peeps look at me and wonder how I could have produced this child.
Wonder if Mrs. Pattinson gets the same strange looks I do?
Fucking discouraging.
xx
OMFG TK! That is so fucking hysterical!!! Those babies are so fucking frightening....I guess there is a reason it is a free celebrity crossbreeding program...maybe next time you should pay the big bucks for the cross-breeding photos.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason the book 'Geek Love' comes to mind when I look at all of these. If you have read it you will totally get it. If you have not....go read...it is disturbing but one of my all time favorite books (figures huh?). Maybe RPattz will star in the movie version someday.
You know RPattz does have a large head....all these babies have large heads so that is accurate. Suddenly I am feeling very sorry for KStew if she has his babies someday...because I am guessing she is extra small. OK, I need to stop now...my mind is going places it shouldn't.
Great post TK!
you know what they say two beautiful people make one hell of a ugly baby LOL thats why all my kids are good lookin :D (sorry hubby:P)
ReplyDeleteI JUST CANT stop my self from laughing..
Taz
I will never sleep well again. That was some scary, creepy shite. Ugh! *shudder*
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard I cried and totally freaked my dogs out! Best post ever!
ReplyDeleteOH. MY. GOD.
ReplyDeleteI'm dying over here... I should have washed my make-up off BEFORE reading this now I'm gonna have to scrub mascara streaks off my face.
My side hurts from laughing so hard... that site clearly sucks at making purty babies!
@VitR--I'm sure KStew has a tiny cock pocket. She plays Bella & everyone knows Bella has the tightest vag on the planet.
ReplyDeleteI'm still really freaked out by this experience.
I may have nightmares about those creepy ass faces .. and OMG the mother chompin' effed up teeth!!
ReplyDelete"Maybe I'm overly harsh, but my baby belongs in a bell tower." ... I died. I totally died at this point.
Holy fuck! And I thought the ceramic-faced dolls my grandma had were freaky looking.
ReplyDeleteAll the boy children could be cast as Damien in a remake of The Omen. And the teeth on these kids are an orthodontist's dream.
And STY, WTF? As TK pointed out, your kids aren't even the same race!
Fucking hilarity!
Oh! That website is scarier than WebMD! 8o
ReplyDeleteIf the pretty can't even make a pretty babies with himself, then somethin' wrong!
This killed me! "Ohai, Benjamin Button Pattinson aka Mr. Roper vs. a wood chipper."
Literally, fuckin dead!!!! @tk you totally fuckin killed me before I even got to the psychotic inbred teeth babies from hell."Ohai Frodo" and Willie Nelson WTF?!?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteOMFR!!! This post had me fucking laughing so hard my stomach is hurting & I woke up my fiance (which is difficult to do)!!! This really is the best post EVER!!!
ReplyDeleteHoly hole in a doughnut Batman, you girls are just too damn funny. I had to stop reading at least three times because I was laughing/crying so damn hard!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a segment Conan used to do called "if they mated." he would take photos of celebrities and digitally merge them into something resembling mutant zombies.....not that any of YOUR pics looked like mutant zombies....I'm just saying....
I just laughed/snorked so loud the neighbor's dog started barking--HOLY MOTHER F-ING SHIT that was hiiiiilarious--thanks, I needed it!
ReplyDeletehehehe the best looking kid is with your cat xxx
ReplyDeleteOh God, I'm tearing up o'er here. Those baby pics w/ those captions are too fucking much. "JJ's son is legally obligated to introduce himself to his neighbors." Bwhahaha "my baby belongs in a bell tower" Holy shit you kill me! I just lit'raly snorted I am howling w/ laughter so hard.. not kidding.
ReplyDeleteOkay we all know the unspoken rule, never tell anyone their baby is ugly no matter how true it might be. So um.. your guys' babies aren't not ugly...
I think that site was created solely to downsize the world population-- deter peeps from procreating.
Make Me Babies-- um stereotype much? ..Yeh, RP is British, so by default the babies have to have busted chompers? Not cool man, not cool! lol
And either STY or Rpatts is not telling us something. One of them is a Russian African American.
OMFG! Must remember nver to read Twitarded when I'm ill again - I don't know what was scarier, your pics or the fact that apparently I do a mean Muttley chuckle when I have a cold.
ReplyDeleteEpic post - I feel I may have to add Chimpsten and mini-E to find out the results...
i'm gonna go stock up on birth control pills and condoms now. thank you ladies.
ReplyDeleteGigglesnort.
ReplyDeleteFuck me (she said that). I just laughed louder than I think I EVER have at a blog post.
You should do stand up and get paid for this shit, TK.
It's alive muahhuhuhuhhhhh...stay away from naked flames, people with pitchforks, people in general, men in red coats and top hats (they just wanna put you in a cage babies)stay away from baby photo opportunities (they steal freak baby souls)oh my god a horde (I said horde not whored)is coming, the natives are revolting, to the bell tower or the dungeon, frankenbabies......runnnnnn
ReplyDeleteOMFG. I. Can't. Breathe. This is the funniest thing I've seen in awhile. It's difficult to read the blogs inconspicuously at work while laughing your ass off and crying.
ReplyDeleteThose were all ubercreepy. Creepier than Renesmee creepy. What is with the out of proportion features and wide faces? Does the site just randomly select the clothes/hats? Is Benjamin Button Pattinson wearing a tie and no shirt? WTF?!
I think this definitely belongs in the Best of twitarded!!! I'll be back later for a stress-relieving laughfest.
LMAO! Holy hell that was freakin hilarious! I pretty much almost spewed the oatmeal I was eating all over my computer! Thanks for the morning chuckle, TK :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteIf I had nuts, I woulda popped one lulzing, TK...you funny-ass, demented h00rbag. IIs it divine providence that the entire gene pool of Twitarded can only gestate The People Under The Stairs with RPattz? Perhaps, but I expect you'd still be able to wrangle a fantastically successful fandom fundraiser in the quest to find out for sure. ::headshake:: Lemme know where to send the donation.
ReplyDeleteOMG - I just snorted my morning coffee out my nose at work!! Holy effing shit - that is some of the funniest stuff I've seen in a long time!
ReplyDeleteI seriously think that website is trying to cure the world population by giving people who are thinking about procreating a glimpse of what their baby may look like. If I thought mine was going to turn out anything like those, I would sew my vajayjay shut now!
I was crying I was laughing so hard at this last night! TK, you kill me! These pictures gave me the worst nightmares... there was a little army of mutant RPattz spawn chasing me through the woods. Like a thousand scary Renesmees trying to suck my blood. Not good. I'll never sleep again.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness I did not look at this post before going to bed, I would have had nightmares!! That is so horrifying! Although JJ's second baby picture has the most gorgeous lips - ACK!! Ok back to work - must cleanse brain.
ReplyDeleteLMAO! I think I might be a little scarred now. Collectively, your children look like they're going through chemo... while riding the short bus.
ReplyDeleteI always read but never comment but I must on this. This post made me spit out my rice crispies this morning. I have never laughed so hard!
ReplyDeleteOMG...I'm laughing so hard I may throw up. I think my co-workers are concerned but too scared to come and check on me.
ReplyDeleteStop telling people the cat baby was my idea. I don't need that shit following me around for the rest of my life. Even if it is true. ;-)
It's like the mutant spawn from the Hills have Eyes
ReplyDeleteVery fucking funny though
I laughed so much I will not need to do sit ups for a week. My abs are now ripped like Taylor Lautner from laughing so hard. Not only are you funny, but you are also my new personal trainers.
ReplyDeleteI think there is a reason only one of the four of us actually has real life spawn.
ReplyDeleteThese comments are slaying me.
TK- You kill me. I can't stop laughing at those pictures.
fucking epic TK!!!!
ReplyDeleteRe:Benjamin Button Pattinson photo
ReplyDeleteIt appears to imply that
1) He's playing some sort of pervy baby strip poker and is holding a pair of nothing in those two green cards
2) In his own Benjamin-Button-way, he is practicing his High School yearbook pose
3) The tie is how Mommy carries him around so she doesn't have to touch him...ewwww
Oh for cripes sakes, I cannot stop laughing! The tears are streaming down my face! My co-workers think I've lost my mind. I'm sure I'm going to have nightmares over what I've just seen but I don't care. The laughter was totally worth it. That's too many shades of wrong to count.
ReplyDeleteI just emailed this to a few friends who don't stalk, err, read this site like I do and told them to stop what they're doing, 'cause I'm about to ruin... their ability to fall asleep tonight.
TK has struck again. Funny as shit.
ReplyDeleteFor scientific research purposes, any chance u can cross Scooby Doo & JJ just to prove a point?
Never mind the pics, just this set of wee words set me off....easily amused I am.....
"Maybe Latchkey Wife will have better luck. She's already short like a baby, so the software shouldn't have to work too hard."
Now I understand why some countries limit offspring reproduction.
X
You guys are KILLING me! The cat baby is the BEST!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh so hard it induced an asthma attack... and I don't think I have asthma. Wait, maybe you CAUSED the asthma. Better keep that lawyer on speed-dial.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I just laughed so fucking hard I retched. Thanks, TK,
ReplyDeleteI'm seriously dying over here. That was one of the most epic Twitard posts. PLEASE add that post to "Best of Twitarded"
ReplyDeleteDude JJ- Stop boning Austin Powers. And if you do, for God sakes, USE BIRTH CONTROL.
TK- I have no words. Your babies look like pedophile aliens.
STY- I'm sorry to shatter your dreams but if you reproduce with RPattz, I think people are going to steal your kids and send them back to work at the paper mills overseas. Minus the old man kid.. I don't think the tie he's wearing is helping his cause.
That was an awesome read. Thanks TK for the laughs.
LOL!!!! OMG, I'm dying from the laughter. Babyfail is right. What the fuck is up with the baby templates that website has? The teeth!! *still laughing*
ReplyDeleteToo much, funny post.
LMFAO!!! I'm totally creeped out by the messed up teeth on JJ-esmee!
ReplyDeleteAnd quite a few of those babies look like they have progeria; or primordial dwarfism?
LMFAO!!! This post is fucking GOLDEN!!! I cannot believe how disgustingly fugly they all came out. How can they take beauty plus beauty and come up with Chucky?! I've seen you chicks - no worries on producing demon spawn directly out of the chute, that will take place over the years of raising them into mini versions of yourselves. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat webiste is FUBAR-ed! But I couldn't be happier about it! LMAO!
Great post, TK!!!
OMFG, this was a fucking hilarious post. Thought I had it all under control and then I scroll down (as I take a sip of water, which was a mistake) and came across LSP and sprayed water all over my iPad. Thanks. I would've commented sooner but then I had to clean the iPad and wipe the tears...
ReplyDeleteOh wow. Just... WOW. Am I glad I forgot to get my Twitarded fix at work today, and only remembered when I got home! I NEEDED the laugh.
ReplyDeleteTHIS NEEDS TO BE SHARED PEOPLE!!!!
For the sake of world peace... or just to make everyone you know pee in their pants. This blog is a neccessity to ease the long hours dragging towards the end of the year.
Thank you TK! (going to do some sharing now...)
This post is EPIC!!! I am seriously considering going to get my tubes tied.
ReplyDeleteI totally have to agree with @STY...this reinforces why the hubby and I have never procreated. If my spawn with hot Vanity Fair Rob can't be gorgeous then no spawn of mine will ever be!
I am going to preface this next bit with that I am pretty sure I am going to Hell for saying this:
My former co-worker had a kid that looked exactly like JJ Cullen #3 (green hat) - no joke.
I still haven't recovered from "my baby belongs in a bell tower"....OMG, laughed so hard thought I was going to hyperventilate! So, did anybody actually try RPattz and KStew babies?
ReplyDeleteWTF. They all look like Tracey Ullman.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also found Kristen on that site and mated her with Cedric Diggory -- and their baby looked like a mutant Tracey Ullman too.
one of the best fkg posts EVER!!!! those faces are pretty damn scary! MALACHI!
ReplyDeleteThis was THE BEST!!!!! I laughed so hard my eyes seized shut.
ReplyDeleteI just pissed my pants. That was fucking hysterical. Smitten summed this up perfectly: a stress-relieving laughfest.
ReplyDeleteLove love loved this post! too funny :)
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the funniest posts I think I've ever seen!
ReplyDeleteOh and my word verification is vicudin... I think I need one of those!
Blogger ate my comment that I attempted to post earlier, so I'll just say this. Normally, seeing as I visit babies for a living, I can fake "Oh...what a cutie pie" like I'm gunning for an Oscar. However, these babies look like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every god damn branch on the way down. That or they've been chasing parked cars. I can't tell which. I'd have a hard time keeping a straight face if I ever came a across kids like these, and I've seen some fucking ugly babies. Also, I'd be inquiring if the hospital did any genetic testing.
ReplyDeletep.s. Is it just me or does JJ's 'son' look like a younger version Vladamir Putin? It's just me. I knew it.
I'm a little shocked you didn't try and make a "real" Renesmee with K.Stew and R.Pats!
ReplyDeleteI had to try this! I uploaded pictures of myself & my husband and our fake kids looking nothing like my real kids.
ReplyDeleteConfession: So I may or may not have tried this myself with an anonymous donor *cough* Jackson *cough* and was shocked at the findings. My fake kids with my fake boyfriend look more like my real kids than the fake kids with my real husband. Does that make any bit of sense?
And I also wanted to see what my kid would look like if I procreated with Kate Winslet. Turns out our fake daughter is not half bad looking. Go figure.
I'm laughing and crying and peeing and SO glad my son decided to sleep in this morning. There's no way in hell I could explain to him why Mommy's having convulsions.
ReplyDeleteI AM SOBBING!!! ABSOLUTELY CONVULSING WITH LAUGHTER!! MY POOR DOG CAME OVER TO SEE WTF IS WRONG WITH ME AND IS TREMBLING AT MY FEET!
ReplyDeleteTHAT is some of the funniest shit I've seen in awhile. Guess I will go give Mr. Junkie a little sumpin sumpin for giving me such an adorable child. Look like Rob's the common denominator here...who knew?
ReplyDeleteI saw this yesterday and nearly busted something. I was still laughing about this morning....until I got on the elevator at work and one the these little mutants was on it in adult form!! I SHIT YOU NOT! I almost died.....
ReplyDeleteI have never laughed so hard in my entire life. This is seriously the funniest post ever. Even my 10 year old son was laughing. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest post ever!! My stomach ached from laughing so hard. The captions are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI have a theory that the baby making website is a plot by the Screen Actors Guild and the FBI to prevent stalkers like us from going after these hotties. I mean, if there was a chance that such a coupling would result in these demon children, I'd take a pass.
If Rob, who actually was an adorable little child, produces these results, imagine what a baby Willie Nelson would look like. **shudder**.
OMG, TK. You're my new hero after this post! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI have never laughed so hard in my entire life. This is seriously the funniest post ever. Even my 10 year old son was laughing. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteOMG, TK. You're my new hero after this post! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLove love loved this post! too funny :)
ReplyDeleteI just laughed/snorked so loud the neighbor's dog started barking--HOLY MOTHER F-ING SHIT that was hiiiiilarious--thanks, I needed it!
ReplyDeleteHoly hole in a doughnut Batman, you girls are just too damn funny. I had to stop reading at least three times because I was laughing/crying so damn hard!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a segment Conan used to do called "if they mated." he would take photos of celebrities and digitally merge them into something resembling mutant zombies.....not that any of YOUR pics looked like mutant zombies....I'm just saying....
LMFAO!!! This post is fucking GOLDEN!!! I cannot believe how disgustingly fugly they all came out. How can they take beauty plus beauty and come up with Chucky?! I've seen you chicks - no worries on producing demon spawn directly out of the chute, that will take place over the years of raising them into mini versions of yourselves. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat webiste is FUBAR-ed! But I couldn't be happier about it! LMAO!
Great post, TK!!!
Oh for cripes sakes, I cannot stop laughing! The tears are streaming down my face! My co-workers think I've lost my mind. I'm sure I'm going to have nightmares over what I've just seen but I don't care. The laughter was totally worth it. That's too many shades of wrong to count.
ReplyDeleteI just emailed this to a few friends who don't stalk, err, read this site like I do and told them to stop what they're doing, 'cause I'm about to ruin... their ability to fall asleep tonight.
After The Bentist and I had a good laugh at your fugly future kids...
ReplyDeleteTwo Words:
RECESSIVE. GENES.
VW: Spitin (vb) [spI: t'n] Eng.
Don't lie...You know those kids are spitin images of y'all.
OMG...I'm laughing so hard I may throw up. I think my co-workers are concerned but too scared to come and check on me.
ReplyDeleteStop telling people the cat baby was my idea. I don't need that shit following me around for the rest of my life. Even if it is true. ;-)