Friday, November 19, 2010

Week-End Robert Pattinson's Butt-Crack/Kristen Stewart's uhhhh.../Breaking Dawn Filming & Other Random Twilighty Stuff Recap!

So earlier this week (or recently - who can really be bothered to keep track of the days and weeks anymore?), we kinda mentioned that we were going try to be the best spoiler whores we could possibly be in our little corner of the Twidom. Luckily (for us; bad for you, really...), our little corner of the Twidom (Population: Us + You) is known for being a little slacker-y. I mean really, I don't think we got anyone thinking that we were going to replace their mainstays for real Twilighty news, but it's possible that you may be expecting us to up our game slightly in an effort to pretend we have any idea what's going on out there at any given moment. We do not. Plus, somehow the phrase "real Twilighty news" still makes me cringe, despite who I am and what I do with a really significant portion of my time on any given day.

With that rambling-doesn't-really-make-sense statement in mind, and (almost) without further ado, here's some stuff you probably already saw eons ago (or at least a few days ago) and have had time to formulate strong opinions on, which you will hopefully share with everyone in the comments... Think of it as something like The Bloggess's weekly Sunday[-ish] round-up of "Shit I Did When I Wasn't Here" only more Twilighty, less succinct, and not as funny.

Onward!

Robert Pattinson's butt-crack makes a guest appearance on the beach in Brazil; Twitards everywhere rejoiced! Plumbers everywhere realize they need to kick it up a notch to continue the momentum of "plumber's butt" being viewed as a good thing. On an unrelated-to-Rob's-coin-slot note, wtf is KStew's hair doing in this photo below? Eating her face??? I am baffled... It looks like it's been caught in a windstorm that was focused solely on her wig.

(via popsugar, obvs.)
Kristen Stewart's...lady bits also make a special guest appearance (I am sure she is thanking whoever decided on that white Susana Monaco bikini). I'd never really considered Kristen's lady-scaping habits before, but I would have pegged her as more of an au natural kinda gal. That said, it's probably time for me to book another appointment with Zuzanna. Just in case.


Also, in the ongoing "KStew must ride someone piggyback in every Twilight Saga movie" meme news, "Hold on tight, Spider-monkey!" made its Breaking Dawn/Brazilian debut -


The newlywed Cullens were filmed doing what every hot young vampire-human married couple does on their honeymoon: playing chess! Really [note the red, black, and white color scheme on the chess set - nice touch]. Aaaand somehow they make the whole chess-playing thing sexy...when they knock all the pieces over and suck face (check out the awesome gif Twilighish made! - but be careful because you'll suddenly snap out of it and look at the clock and realize that an hour or two has passed...you've been warned).


Ilse Esme filming over, the cast flees... But not before a fan seeing "RPatts & Friends (with benefits)" off as they departed from Brazil places all her considerable...eggs in one overflowing basket in an effort to grab Rob's...attention. Or something like that. Kudos to Rob's Closet for being the first blog to ask the burning question "Holy fucking shit what the fuck is up with this chick's huge bazoombas?!?" (paraphrasing there, but that was the general gist)


OK, focus people - focus! Moving on...

In random Twilighty award news, RPatts wins...Best Dressed??? BBC Radio 1s Teen Awards bestow The Precious with the official nod for "best dressed" (and best actor, I think) - kudos. But... Yes, I luurv PRatts and I give him props for his...no fuss hobolicious style (hey, I know how "effortless" it is to put on the first things you find on the floor in morning; I just don't look as hawt when I try to work that look) but...best dressed? Yeah whatever - I'll take it. And yes he cleans up well for the red carpet and photo shoots (as I vaguely recall - it's been a while), but he's an anti-fashionista. Still made for a cute acceptance video, though - at least what you can make out over the screeching fans -




And last but not least, there was a new outtake from the last Another Man photo shoot released today[-ish]. RPatts has got an awesome profile. And is wearing a leather biker jacket. I have nothing else to add...

25 comments:

  1. OMFG!!!! Thank you for the recap, especially the butt crack shot...never has a butt crack made me smile su fuckin big. I lurv you hard STY!

    Also, I have to say if you go back to visit Zusanna, do us all a favor and blog about it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That chick is like the Dolly Parton of Brazil. I'm shocked Rob is not staring in horror.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That gif has more hypnotizing power than an unopened pack of Oreos. Two, three hours, gone. The plumber's butt was the first thing I thought of when I saw it. So, if I am in need of a plumber, is there any way I can get THAT one, to errr...fix my leak?

    ReplyDelete
  4. STY, I love your recap! You took everything I was fixated on this week (ie: Rob's Butt) and presented it in a way that held my attention, added to my knowledge base, and made me laugh. I think I'll just get all my news from you from now on. If I don't read about it on Twitarded, then clearly I don't need to know it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was waiting for the buttcrack post, and that boobs gave me paranoia (I keep seeing it around). How about that People's sexiest man alive, do you agree or not.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Almost forgot, Happy B-day to JJ and Vitamin R, keep guzzling twitarts!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for the recap! And, no pressure or anything, but stepping up your game helps me tons. Tons! Might I humbly suggest a weekly recap of Twilight newsishes? I don't do the gossip sites as I can't stand paps. Usually. Ahem. I'm a bit of a hypocrite, what can I say?

    And also? It's weird when you know *exactly* what's going on in another person's head. Especially another person that you don't know, right? And Jeezbus Christie, I know exactly what's going through Rob's head in the bazonga's picture. We all do. "Don't look down. Jesus, don't look down. Just hold it. Look at the camera. Then it'll be over. Don't look down, I said! OK. Done? Thank God."

    The end. Oh, and what's this? Birthdays! Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I caught a few of these things around the interwebs this week. Unusual cause I'm a lazy asshole and if it's not on twitarded I can't be bothered. I didn't however catch that awesome gif!! Thank you for enabling my laziness.

    p.s. holy fucking shit those are some bit tits.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow. Those are some seriously large fun bags. I couldn't stop staring at them. Are they real? I think they're real. Not sure.

    @Uber Vamp - thanks for the birthday love!

    I have to go look at those tits again. They're amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh dear. I clicked on the link to the Twilightish gif and .... next thing it was Sunday...

    wv: hylam. I just KNOW there's SOMETHING witty to write about this but flashes of the gif and the profile photo of RPatz are looping in my head...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was beginning to worry you all hadn't seen "Buttcrack Robward". All I can say is, "Kristen has hair? Where? Huh?" I can't take my eyes off of his lovely arse. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I guess I am the only one so far that was slightly bothered by the buttcrack peek. Not by the sight, hell no, he's heaven. But just imagining how it could have happened that he was exposed to that degree without seeming to realize it had happened. Then Robsessed provided the video that included that snipet - and lo and behold it was Kristen sliding off his back, pushing his swim trunks down as she went. That is even better than the photo to me. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a look, although the early footage on the tape is a bit boring.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Even though it's our beloved following the GIGAN-tits, I can't take my eyes off of them or remember what part of the post came after...

    Oh, and many thanks for the cutest little butt-crack in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Leave it to my fellow Brasilians to fenagle their way into some movie shoot for a vip photo with the twistars, AND show them how Brasilians are some of the greatest contributors to plastic surgery ( I think you can look that up somewhere, but i'm a lazy twitard too! Yay!!!) ..AND some of the gaudiest fucking dressers on the planet. Yay Brasilians. But for all I know those sisters may be natural..
    Best part of the post for me were Kristen's lady bits, oh sweeeeeeeetness! When does she become a vamp?! ..so I can be further mesmerized, that is... nom,nom.
    Happy bdays!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Kristen has the cutest lil' butt ever! I took her for an au natural girl myself, but then, if I was going to be sporting a white bikini (as if) all day on a movie set, I think the lady bits would indeed need a wax. Besides, that's what all the kids are doing these days.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love that butt crack. I generally despise butt cracks, but that one is magnificent! In my dreams, I open my shower curtain and see that butt crack all lathered up with soapy bubbles. And then he invites me to join him and then I wake up. Fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ah yes, melon girl. The first thing I thought when I first saw that fan pic was... "lady, look his love interests have been.... very. flat. women. NOT 40J (like me)"

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wooooah, I seriously did not notice Kristen's camel toe until just now... *shudder* I feel bad for her - lets hope they photoshop that shiz for the big screen! At least she waxed - eeek!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Why does Kristen always look so depressed and homeless in fan photos? That girl needs a hug or twenty - just not from Bewbiegirl. Holy balls, she really has those puppies hoisted up! Is it me or does she appear not to have the slightest interest in Rob and Kristen? Maybe she just wanted to expose her bewbies to the world. Mission accomplished, Bewbiegirl.

    Poor Kristen not liking all the fame and attention only to now have her cooter on display for the world to see. That swimsuit is wrong on so many levels. The BD wardrobe people have 3 strikes against them already IMO. 1) Edward's white man-pris, 2) Bella's white, unlined bikini, 3) Edward's swim shorts - I mean they're ok and we got to see Rob's coin slot 'n all but they aren't the sexy board shorts I was expecting. Maybe I read too much fanfic. *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  20. O.o. the profile shot! I've come over all unnecessary *fans self*

    Not a great butt-crack lover myself (hubs and Thing One have a habit of 'sharing' a little too much of themselves around the house), but in this instance, I will happily stare and drool.....slurp!

    Have to admit, I had a little snigger at the camel-toe. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Kristen - I just don't rate Kristen.

    OK, OK, I'll grab my coat....

    Thanx for the update STY!

    CC x

    ReplyDelete
  21. Gives whole new meaning to the term #ButtCracksanta......;)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Why does Kristen always look so depressed and homeless in fan photos? That girl needs a hug or twenty - just not from Bewbiegirl. Holy balls, she really has those puppies hoisted up! Is it me or does she appear not to have the slightest interest in Rob and Kristen? Maybe she just wanted to expose her bewbies to the world. Mission accomplished, Bewbiegirl.

    Poor Kristen not liking all the fame and attention only to now have her cooter on display for the world to see. That swimsuit is wrong on so many levels. The BD wardrobe people have 3 strikes against them already IMO. 1) Edward's white man-pris, 2) Bella's white, unlined bikini, 3) Edward's swim shorts - I mean they're ok and we got to see Rob's coin slot 'n all but they aren't the sexy board shorts I was expecting. Maybe I read too much fanfic. *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  23. Gives whole new meaning to the term #ButtCracksanta......;)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I was waiting for the buttcrack post, and that boobs gave me paranoia (I keep seeing it around). How about that People's sexiest man alive, do you agree or not.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I found a pretty insane photoshop or something which looks like RP's REAL Butt Crack in the sex seen.. maybe it's real? I don't know. It's definitely retarded! http://trendzombie.blogspot.com/2011/11/robert-pattinsons-butt-crack-in.html

    ReplyDelete

Comments are our life now. Leave one!