Tuesday, February 22, 2011

And That Wasn't the First Night I Dreamed of Robert Pattinson...

After two nights of side-splitting vagina monologues, I'm hoping you're ready for something a little less cooter-related. Well ok, here you go... so it's sort of un-cooter-related... unless you want to discuss what this did to my snatch but maybe not.

This does unmentionable things to my lady bits. Especially the mischievious smile...

If you've been hanging around Twitarded for any length of time, you may recall that I'm just not lucky enough to dream of Robert Pattinson very often. If I could control it, I'd make sure he made an appearance every night which I assume would start to piss off the hubs when I was constantly moaning orders at Rob in my sleep... "Oh yes, Rob... a little lower, Rob... faster, Rob... again, Rob... ungh oh oh OOOOH Rob!"

I need those pants to fall down... like right now. Unf...

When I do dream of him though, I remember it like it happened five minutes ago. I wake up and it's like I'm still there but he's not. Which is totally fucking weird when you're laying in bed next to your husband who is so definitely NOT Robert Pattinson. I'm not sure what sparked this dream. The only thing I can think of is that I was reading Catching Fire yesterday and had been discussing with VitR a scene where Katniss describes Gale while he's sleeping -- his dark, thick brows, the stubble on his jaw. And of course it reminded me of Rob and got me all hot and bothered.

Do I make you randy, Latchkey Wife? Do I?

The dream...

For some odd reason JJ, STY, VitR, TK, Myg and I were all together in a giant hotel room. Not just the six of us, but bunches of other people too but I can't remember who they were. We were having a party in our room (big fucking surprise) and the door opens and three guys walk in - Rob and two friends - although I'm not sure who the friends were. Everyone in the room just kind of stared at them when they walked in but it was weird since everyone was bunched up on one side of the room so no one was even close to them when they entered.... except me for some reason.

So I immediately run my little whore self right over to him and say hi and introduce myself. He seems to be a little frightened of me at first (not sure why? **bats eyelashes**) but then he relaxes a bit as I chatter on about a million things and ask him a slew of questions. I just remember looking over at everyone just staring at me gape-mouthed. No one even moving to come towards us. It was almost like we were separated by a sheet of glass or something.

Rob and I sat on the bed in the hotel room and just chatted. For a long time I kept yelling for JJ, STY, VitR, TK and Myg to come over and meet him but no one did. I remember telling him he needed to meet my friends and he said he would but then they never came. I can remember just staring at his face and wanting so badly to touch him but I didn't want to scare him away.

And then I started checking blogs on my phone and asked him if he ever reads blogs about himself. He said no and I told him it was a good thing... he shouldn't be reading them. But then he wanted to read them and he was trying to get my phone away from me so he could.... aaaaand the next thing I know we're snuggling under the covers. Like a real good, tight spoon. Fucking yum. I think I bit him at some point too. And then it was dark and everyone was gone. Then I woke up and he was gone. Sad panda.

But I fell back to sleep and in the morning, I put on one of those big fluffy white hotel robes and went looking for him because I forgot to give him my number. Somehow I found the room he was staying in and it was huge and fancy. I walked in and he remembered me but couldn't come up with my name which made me super furious. And then he gets that wonderfully mischievous grin on his face (you know the one!) and he kind of grabbed me around the waist. I of course took it as an opportunity to run my hands across the stubble on his face and then I kissed him.

So weird how I can remember the details of his mouth in my dream, his soft bottom lip and how I pulled it into my mouth.... fuck me, if I could only remember what his tongue tasted like...

Next think I know, I'm at JJ's house which oddly has like five bedrooms upstairs and random people are coming out of them and JJ is still sleeping of course so I text her to tell her I'm downstairs and to get the fuck up. She's obviously pissed at me for hogging RPattz and she texts back something like "blow me I'm still sleeping". So I go to sit at the dining room table and my cousin Double_Dippin is there and she has brought me some food and we drank coffee and ate muffins and waited for JJ to get up.

And then I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep which totally pissed me off because I was totally hoping to run into Rob again and maybe let him get to second base. And I still haven't seen his cock.

The end.

Oh Latchkey! You crack my shit up! Let's have a nekkid tickle fight.

Ok all you dream analyzers out there... what does it all mean?? Is it a foreshadowing of what's to come? Will I be lucky enough to party with RPattz in a crowded hotel room in my future?


  1. So jealous! Sweet dream. Gaah, I have had 2 (?) RPattz dreams. Love them and wish they'd happen every night.

    I have also had 2 dreams about Alexander Skargard. I speak of the latest one on my post from last night. Gaah, it did things to me....Don't tell Rob.

    xo J

  2. Woah! I was first. Holy shitballs, goo timing.

  3. I've only had 1 dream of the Precious. It was pretty good. We made out and then we got in the shower and he ate me out. LMAO! Best. Dream. EVA!

  4. All I get is coffe and fucking muffins...GOD!!! I hate your dream..Are you sure that I didn't spend the night with him wilst you were sleeping?? That sounds more like it.But I am jealous that YOU actually dreamt of the precious..I never remember my dreams, and if I do, they don't make any sense. Sweet dreams my love..

  5. throw the H in that Whilst...Next time you dream and I'm in it...can I do something cool??

  6. Was that hotel room in Forks perchance? Maybe your dreams are prophetic and he will be joining us at the Forks Motel (and then the next day, hell will turn into a glacier). You had better freaking invite us to that party.

  7. Woo Hoo I'll be in forks and since we havent met yet-- I must be one of the girls in the dream.
    I dont believe that I would be staring gape-mouthed whilst the pretty is around, I would be asking if you need another drink and what would your (ahem) friends like to drink.

    I cant wait to meet you in September

  8. Lucky bitch.

    The only Rob dream I had was a fun tickle fight, completely non-sexual. I didn't even try and kiss him!!! WTH!?!?

  9. GAH...a dream? Oh Lordy...you know about me and dreams.
    All I'll say is this...
    The robsession may have left some of us, but keep obsessing if you love it.
    Love your family, because they give you comfort.
    And don't worry...we all will remember your name.
    Think about where certain people were located in the dream, what parts of the house...it's where they live in your head.
    Think about what they all were doing, and relate it to the Robsession.
    Think about how you felt during the dream.
    LKW...you have very symbolic and vivid dreams. It's a gift. Don't ignore them. They tell you more than merely what you see on the surface.

  10. I read so much fanfiction that I dream about Edward Cullen EVERY NIGHT.

    So - take that bitches!

  11. Why the hell was I stuck on the other side of this so called glass wall? This sounds like some sort of Bella-type shield you created to keep us all out so you could have him to yourself! :P I think we need to have some sort of Inception style group plug-in for FORKS2011....could be interesting.

    Off to Google 'How to control your dreams every time'........laters.

  12. I've dreamed a lot about him, but last week I had my first sex dream with him. He was super affectionate, it was like the love scene from remember me. I can remember the view of his face laying underneath him.
    He was done before me.
    Next thing I know, I'm trying to wipe his jizz off me and thinking about getting a morning-after pill while ringing on our local Kindergarten's doorbell. Nobody opened.

    I should have known then that it was a dream. In real life I would have never wiped his stuff off.

  13. very nice looking and lovely smile . really i like that and great idea . interesting your recently post and best details shared so thanks

  14. Maybe you didn't get to see the p33n, and you don't remember what his tongue tastes like, but at least you can recall the feel of his lips. Lucky bitch!

    Am I the only one who hasn't had a Rob dream? WTF? #lifeissounfair

  15. thank goodness, Smitten. i'm not the only one. maybe i should put more effort into it, like concentrate on dreaming about him.

    it's good to have goals.

    you've inspired me LKW, along with that first picture. OMbuttonflyjeans!

  16. I haven't had any Rob dreams either - WTH!?!?

    I dream almost every night, they are in color and I remember them when I wake up with no issues but they usually include people from my work because I seem to be there more than home with my own family! I'm going to start reading more fanfic and watch at least 15 mins of some Rob movie before bed so maybe sweet dreams will come my way! :)

    Can you imagine if this was a prelude of what was to come in FORKS2011??? Although we all know none of us would be afraid to break the glass barrier to talk to him!


    I've been having dreams with Rob in them this week for some reason & then I had one with Kristen in it too. She was really cool in my dream. Hopefully she would be in real life too. :-)

  18. It's good..it's good (as said by Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation)

    I've had a few Rob-dreams. My husband woke me up during one once.. I was so pissed; I tried so hard to fall asleep and get back to it...

    Robward in my dreams every night would be an adequate replacement for the real thing.
    ONLY because of the husband and kids part.

  19. He was scared if you LKW? One word: FREEZER.

  20. I can't dream of the Precious either..BOO!!!!!

    I try sooo HARD (pun fucking intended!) but it just doesn't happen. I work nights & sleep only 4-5 hrs during the day so I must be too tired to dream...I dunno..

  21. I can't dream of the Precious either..BOO!!!!!

    I try sooo HARD (pun fucking intended!) but it just doesn't happen. I work nights & sleep only 4-5 hrs during the day so I must be too tired to dream...I dunno..

  22. He was scared if you LKW? One word: FREEZER.


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