I was wrong.
Those kids are persistent little fuckers. They pound on the door and I freeze, because I'm afraid if I make the tiniest little sound I'll end up with a mob of small super heroes and Justin Biebers banging on my door in a greedy sugar-induced rage.
Awww, aren't you guys cute. Now get the fuck off my porch.
Actually, I wouldn't give any kid dressed up like Justin Bieber candy anyway. Even if I had a truckload of it. You're a Belieber, kid? Get the fuck off my porch or I'm gonna pelt you with all the Smarties I'm not giving you (from my personal stash. Which I'm not sharing. MINE).
They can come back next year when they have better taste in music or I'm less hungover.
Ah yes, that's really the crux of my current Halloween-scroogeness. I'm massively hungover. I'm so hungover my hair hurts and it feels like someone took sandpaper to my eyeballs. A kick in the vagina would be preferable to this massive, epic hangover of hangovers.
I did have a good time last night, though. Snarkier Than You and I (along with the menfolk) went to an awesome masquerade wedding. I think it was the most fun I ever had at a wedding. ML and I dressed up as Steampunk people and STY and Mr. STY were looking super dapper in fancy masks and evening wear. There was lots of dancing and eating and drinking, ohmygodsomuchdrinking!!!
An amazing picture by photographer extraordinaire, GusGus.
ML and I being romantical, as usual. (Photo by GusGus, natch)
A friend, STY and Mr. STY.
The bride and groom. Don't the drawings on the black pumpkin look familiar??? Mr. STY's handiwork!
Even I danced, which is a testament to how much vodka I actually drank because I never dance. I'm an awful dancer. I think it's more like flailing than dancing. I do remember dancing with one friend and he kept spinning me around and I told him if he didn't stop I was going to barf all over his purple velour suit jacket.
Like I said, I'm fucking hungover. It took every last ounce of effort I had to climb into the shower and wash last night's makeup off my face. Hot. Fucking. Mess. I pretty much spent the rest of the day laying on the couch with my Edward blanket and whimpering softly to myself.
But damn, that was the greatest wedding EVER.
This is why I don't let her play with guns. Also, she wore glitter. What a sucker. Have fun cleaning that off your face for the next three weeks, STY.
Anyway, I hope everyone has an awesome and safe Halloween!! Let us know if you went to a great costume party or what you dressed your kids up as or even that you're as uselessly hungover as I am. It'll be like a virtual costume party in the comments!!
P.S. - DON'T FORGET - Twilight Tuesdays start tomorrow!!! SQUEEEEE!!!