So here goes...forgive my bulleted lists. It's for the best, trust me. I'll try to be brief, but I really don't see that happening. I have a lot to say. If you missed Jenny Jerkface's review, click here!
|Sonofabitch! He really pulled off the rolled khakis. (Is that yellow tape on the floor their mark?)|
- The Cullen's eyeballs. I've done nothing but complain about the too-yellow-y contacts throughout both New Moon and Eclipse. BD eyeballs = win!
- The wedding overall. I couldn't stop smiling. The vows, the kiss (oh MAN the kiss), the speeches... *sigh*
- Jessica stole every scene she was in - all her snarky remarks just fucking slayed me. And calling Edward "The Hair" - nearly peed my pants!
- Charlie. That is all. I love everything he does.
- Just about everything that happened on Isle Esme. The headboard and pillow destruction. (I saw the nip slip...whoa.) Bella trying to seduce Edward with her naughty nighties. So fucking cute I wanted to die.
- Edward's rolled up khakis. Yum.
- The black eyes. Something about those black eyes, especially on Edward, especially when he's suffering, make me want to furiously hump his leg.
- The make-up job on Bella while the fetus is sucking the life from her. Just wow!
- Absolutely LOVE the ending -- the flashbacks, the venom repairing her broken bones... and when her eyes open red -- exactly how I pictured the first part to end.
|I'd be smiling from ear to ear with that waiting for me!|
- Edward as a bad guy. I'm sorry, I just can't stop chuckling at the thought of Edward as a killer. Or as someone pointed out recently -- he's the Dexter of the vampire world!
- The pre-wedding dream. Um, no. It was like Carrie, only all white.
- Bella's lack of smiling during the wedding. I guess I would be scared shitless too but how could you not don a huge grin with that waiting for you at the end of the aisle?
- Stephenie Meyer's too-long cameo appearance. Maybe that's why Bella isn't smiling...she's afraid Steph is after her man.
- I would've been ok with just hearing the vomiting -- I really don't enjoy seeing the actual puke.
- While I loved loved loved the whole end of this movie starting with Edward tearing the demon spawn from Bella's womb, I was annoyed by his blood-smeared face -- it looked more like he had been bobbing for meatballs.
|Scary fucking eyeballs. Someone hold me, please.|
- The wolves breaking up. I just can't stop snickering during that scene. The whole lot of wolves bother me in general -- except Booboo/Seth. I agree with JJ, he was so adorable.
- Why the FUCK is Renee's mailbox on the beach? Does the mailman do his sunbathing between houses?
- Did anyone else notice that Eleazer is the Ice Truck Killer from Dexter?
- The Denali sister's eyeballs scared the living shit out of me.
- Where are Jacob's jorts? And shit, those wolves must have stashes of duds everywhere.... they always emerge from the woods fully clothed.
- I'll always and forever be pissed off that Jacob is so short in these movies.
- Bella's blood-stained chicklets grossed me out a little.
We all knew making this movie was going to be a difficult feat, but in my opinion, Condon did us proud. And fuck me ladies... how hot is Edward wearing a wedding ring... and pajamas...?