Sunday, November 20, 2011

Holy Balls! Breaking Dawn... Was... Awesome! [Spoiler Free]

I'm fairly certain that I am the only member of Twitarded who actually liked Breaking Dawn (the book). Well, at least the first time I read it. It started to annoy me the more I read it, but for the most part, I never hated this book. But I always had this feeling deep down in my guts that there was no way they could pull off this movie.

Ahem! I think I would have loved it even more if it had this added feature!

I was wrong.

Kudos to you Bill Condon for flipping the bird to all those Twilight directors that have come before you and nailing this movie like Edward nailed Bella. For the most part, anyway. There was this one part that made me want to crawl up my own ass... it was that bad. But at least now I know when to leave the theater to go pee or take a dump (it's a long enough scene so I would definitely have adequate dumpage time if needed).

I'm just not that bendy.

It was one of those scenes in a movie that is so horrifically bad that you don't even know what was said because you're too busy inappropriately snickering, that you pay no attention to the dialog. Yup, that was me on Friday night. If you've seen the movie, you know the horror that I speak of. Jenny Jerkface mentioned it in her post the other night and I knew exactly what she was talking about when it came on screen.

Other than this one particular scene, I pretty much loved the rest of it. The wedding and honeymoon couldn't have been any sweeter. [Well, unless they had made it rated R...] I heard in an interview with the cast on Ellen that they had to edit Edward's butt crack out of the movie. This makes me sad -- hopefully it will be some sort of special feature on the DVD. Despite the lack of crack, I found myself with a perma-grin on my face for about the first hour of this movie. My cheeks hurt when I got home, I was smiling so much!

I see nothing rated R about this crack... I kinda want to drop a quarter in it.

We'll get more into details in a few days after you've all had a chance to see it a gazillion times. Shit, even I need to see it a few more times so I can take some notes. My head was spinning when I got home from my inaugural viewing. The butterflies in my stomach still flutter just a bit whenever I think about certain parts. So stay tuned this week... I'm sure we'll dive into more specifics on what we liked, didn't like, loved, hated, etc.

How many times did you see Breaking Dawn this weekend?


  1. I've seen it three times now, once at the premiere in LA, the midnight showing on Thursday and this Sunday morning.

    I know the scene you are taking about, in fact, it seems to annoy everyone. I really don't understand why they thought this particular approach was a good idea. Oh well, the rest of the movie makes up for it.


  2. Only seen it twice so far - midnight showing and dragged my husband there for Friday night.

    The scene was worse the second time. It is almost too embarrassing to speak of. I hope the actors get questioned about it - I'm curious as to why they agreed to such a ridiculous thing.

  3. I BOW DOWN TO NO ONE!!!! Is this the scene of which we speak??? Cuz, yea.
    Seen it once & have at least 2 more scheduled! Thankful the Thanksgiving weekend is coming up - LOTS of viewing opportunities.

  4. I forgot how much I hated the book. I was certain they could never make that whacky story into a movie! How wrong I was. IMHO this movie delivered the heart of the book better than the best scenes of the other three put together.

    Well done Bill & Melissa!

    Now I have to start my countdown widget over. There really isn't anything I'm looking forward to in the next movie. This one left me pretty satisfied!

  5. I have seen the movie 3 times this weekend and plan on going back next weekend lol. If I am thinking of the same seen good Lord what were they thinking there. Between laughing and cringing I counldn't take it. I agree with the perma-grin and even told a friend my face hurts and I was just happy the whole way thru the movie. I was not disappointd at all and I must day it delievered in epic proportions in my opinion. I think the Jacob (pervert) baby Impront was done classy and I must say friends and I discussed in length where this movie would end and I said form day one it could only end one wasy to be theatrical and leave us on edge. It was done the exact way I said, so thank you Bill for invading my dreams and doign it right lol! My review of this movie......I laughed, I cried, I swooned, and I fell in love all over again with these characters!!!!

  6. Is it a spoiler to say how sad I am that they failed to put my favorite scene from the whole book into the movie? I needed Rosalie to make that dog dish for Jacob.

    I know of the weird "Never Ending Story like wolfishness you speak, t'was awful.

  7. Are you talking about when the wolves are talking like Optimus Prime? That was a supreme elcheesarito scene. I laughed out loud at that one.

    I was also looking forward to the banter between Jacob and Rosalie. I still remember the blonde joke that SM had Jacob tell in the book. Probably helps I read it 5 times. (This was before I discovered fanfic!)

    The sex scenes were way tame. Maybe I've been reading fanfic too much and am just jaded.

    The cringe worthy scenes are not going to keep me from seeing it again tomorrow with the hubs. He's taking me for my birthday. I'll be looking at his face during the cheesy scene just to note how much he loves me to endure sitting thru 2 hours of me drooling over Robward.

  8. Optimus Prime?! BWAHAHAHAHA!

    Oh God, say it isn't so.

  9. Optimus Prime??? OMG, that *is* freak'n hillarious. I don't think they actually had the actors involved with that scene. The voices didn't even sound like them.

    The sad part is that even though it was cringe worthy it was a pretty important scene and I can't begin to think of a better way to do it.

  10. My 14 yo in the theatre with me leaned over & said "wtf with the transformer voices Mum?" lol!
    I figured every Twi movie has to have some cringeworthy scene. Frolicking in the forest in NM anyone?
    I hated the book but quite enjoyed the movie. Mmmm, Thrustward....
    W/V insworre-insworre I would hate this movie.....but I didn't.

  11. Optimus Prime is exactly what I was thinking.

    (And I'm not talking about jazz musicians.)

  12. I was thinking it was like speaking into a Nickelodean toy--that tinny sound. Still loved it all! Very biased. (shrug)

  13. I felt the same way about this book as LKW. I actually liked it when I first read it (except the hideous baby name *vomit*) but when I re-read it, I got a little bit annoyed with it, and then I figured there was no way anyone could make it into a half way decent movie. But holy hell, did Mr. Condon deliver. I absolutely FLOVED it. There was a couple of cringe worthy scenes (Optimus prime lol), at least one bad wig, and a scene that I did not agree with. I do wish they had included more Rosalie/Jacob banter and the dog bowl lol. Oh well. Rob was fucking hot as all hell, Kristen was far less twitchy then the other movies, and Carlisle didn't have a fake accent (FTW!). I can't say anymore without including spoilers so I'll weigh in after the ladies have posted about them. Can't wait to see it again! BD FTW!

  14. I didn't actually think there were any "cringe-worthy" scenes in this one. I thought they really pulled it off.

  15. I saw it Friday night and will see it again and again when I am ready to. I dreamed it about it all night, as if I were on the edges of all the scenes like a minor character, seeing everything, hearing everything, including things not even in the movie.

    I also came away thinking Bill Condon pretty much didn't get it, had no sense of the mystery or magic. The pacing was way too fast and the BLANKING BLANKS is a mere example of not getting who your audience is. Too much and lousy makeup, including something which made Rob’s skin look like Pillsbury biscuit dough.

    AND YET, it was one of the most emotionally moving and satisfying experiences ever -- because of what each of us brought to it. I now know these characters better than almost anyone in my real life. I know more about their feelings and thoughts than I do about those of my best friend. I have been so close to these people for so long that to see their love fulfilled and all else, it is such an intimate experience.

    This is why we--Twitards and etc.--have been following so closely for so long. And to finally see Edward and Bella all grown up and able to fully enjoy each other in a cosmic sense. It was wonderful in a way I never anticipated. For all I know, they really are out there somewhere (if only...)

  16. Seen it twice, love it! Well.. most parts, there is that one....that makes me grit my teeth and also Dr. Cullens hair, how could the hair person let him leave the makeup chair looking like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

  17. Twice was not enough. j/s. Like @getinthecar50, I had a hard time getting my brain to switch topics afterwards! Think i need another watch before we get into the nitty-gritty about what we liked and what was not so great. WOO!

  18. Ok I've seen it 7 times .. but gawd don't tell anyone .. LOL. I obviously loved it .. & the Optimus Prime voices are growing on me .. LOL. But, yeah at first I thought that was very corny.

    But, I thought Bill did an amazing job creating mostly what pictured .. I'll have to agree that a more R-rated honeymoon would be the bestest, but yeah knew not to expect that.

    R/K/T I thought did amazing too. I can't even express how much I loved it except that I can't get enough .. again obviously .. LOL.

  19. I've only seen it 5x. Sherry's got me beat.

    I loved the obvious scenes, the wedding & honeymoon. Hated the wolf talking.

    But the scenes that really stuck out in my head were the 1st lingerie seduction scenes where Edward laughed and turned over on the bed and the scene where Edward heard Renesmee for the 1st time and he and Bella were laughing and kissing when Jacob walked in.

    I am also obsessed with the soundtrack. I can't stop listening to it. Hearing the songs remind me of the scenes during which they were played, which in turn reminds me how much I loved it, which makes me want to watch it again.

    Vicious, vicious cycle. Hahaha.

  20. I loved it too! Saw it in the ghetto so I had a lot "oh no he did-ints" and "giiirl, watchu scared of? Go get him, he fine!", which just made it even better!
    I think the Jacob-Rosalie banter may happen in part 2. Remember, he's around a lot once Bella wakes up.
    Optimus Prime was the only awful part for me. And for something in the Twilight franchise, that's saying a lot!

  21. The pacing was too fast?? Oh my! I thought it was waaaaaay too slow in some parts. I took my hubby and son to see it yesterday, and my son LOVED the part that I, and apparently everyone else, found cringe-worthy. Go figure. I guess the Optimus Prime idea explains it! (Hubby, by the way, thought the entire movie was cringe-worthy!)


  22. Optimus Prime FTMFW!!! LMFAO!!

    That one scene almost made me weep with laughter.

    There's no point in denying that I'm going for a third round with STY. It needs to be done.

  23. Just an update. The hubs took me to see BD again for my birthday. I watched his face thru the corny Optimus Prime wolves scene. He was literally biting his tongue, then acting as if he was trying to squeeze one off like a dog in the yard, indicating what a load of crap it was at that point.

    I enjoyed it way more the second time and will probably view it again. Watching the hubs was priceless- He really does love me. At the end of the movie, he told me what a "cinematic masterpiece" of the series it was, but then stated "You know I only said that to get in your pants, right?"

  24. I can't wait to read your full spoiler review!

    The second time, I made it through with my dignity intact.

    First time, not so much. The giggling in mortification started as soon as Mufasa showed up, which progressed to tears streaming and a projectile snot event, face buried desperately in my hoodie to muffle the sounds and soak up the various body fluids. It ultimately took three entire rows down with me, all of us in side-splitting hysterical laughter - at each other, the movie, the oh-so-serious-I-disapprove-of-your-irreverent-shenanigans scowling girl three rows down.

    The second time, I mustered the loving forbearance of a parent at a really (and I mean REALLY) bad middle school play and kept a (mostly) straight face.

    First half hot + second half mess = Hot Mess FTW!

    Ah Twilight, it's a good thing we love you so.

    <3 Twitarded


  25. I've only seen it twice *hides head in shame.* I loved it despite the cringe-worthy scene we all know and mock...Optimus Prime...LMFAO. This is why I love this site.

  26. Ok, FINALLY just saw BD tonight (been off the grid in west BFE Tx since last week!) and I can say I was pleasantly surprised.

    Optimus Prime didn't bug me nearly as much as staring at Holocaust Bella for almost an hour. That was just brutal. Get that girl an O+ sippy cup already - seriously, you're all freaking vampires and it takes a dog to figure that one out.

    Of course it did make the vamp make-over at the end oh so much better.

    I was cringing before the imprint scene - did any one else notice how Jacob never mentioned the word lover in his little voice-over? Thank god. Well done, but still just creepy.

    Can't wait to hear the full-on, uncensored Twitard reviews.

  27. I liked that scene, but I see how Optimus Prime-y(?) it was.

    I had issue with the sippy cup--- was it left over from someones trip to In and Out value meal?
    I also had a hard time watching holocaust Bella, but it look like she was dying. Not like the "am I pregnant scene" during the honeymoon. We had a good giggle over that with her flat stomach.

    I was touched over Leah's scene "wanting to imprint on anybody just to break the connection". SM should write a novella on her story.

    I luved Edward in bed giggling and rolling over to avoid Bella. ****Lesigh

    Bring on your reviews

  28. Oh yeah & when her boobs jumped up during her transformation my not-stacked 14 yo said " so that's how you get boobs?" lol!

  29. Ok.. I'm not trying to be a pervert. Nope- totally lying. While I'm sure most any normal female was zoomed in on Edward's (barely there thrusting), I was entirely distracted. Please tell me someone else saw it Yes, I'm talking about the Kristen Stewart Nip Slippage. I thought I was crazy, but apparently other viewers did too. If only it would've been Rob showing those naughty parts.

  30. Interestingly, the Optimus Prime scene didn't strike me as odd because haven't we seen them do this before? (I'm not the best Twitard out there since I don't know for sure, but still.)

    Maybe there was something about the dads in this one, but they all struck me as very beautiful. Jacob's dad, Bella's dad, and Edward himself as a new dad-to-be. (PFac doesn't strike me as beautiful, and I thought his powers of diagnosis were a little wan here, but hey.)

    Did anyone else notice THE ASHINESS?! For the love of all that is lippy, please get Robward some good quality balm. I was kind of astonished they'd let him go on camera looking so chapped. And it wasn't a sexy we've-been-kissing-oh-so-much chapped. It was more like 'Damn this wintry weather!'

  31. Saw the premiere and midnight showing - that was it. I liked the book and I liked the whole movie. But then that is me :)


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