Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Twitarded - Living the Way of The Twilight...

It's no secret that Snarkier Than You and I probably have a rather unhealthy obsession with all things Twilight. The amount of Twi-merch we each have could easily fill a couple of shelves down at the local Hot Topic. Actions figures, Full Size Edwards, band-aids, keychains - even the Bella dress. Multiple ones!

I was looking for the one that said "holy fucking cock gobblers! I'm addicted to Twilight." but I couldn't find it. Sniffles.

At first it was fun in a weird holy-shit-you're-way-too-old-to-be-doing-this kinda way.

But now it's just straight up getting out of hand. Twilight has officially seeped into every single aspect of my life. Like some kind of Twi Monk, I am now living The Way of Twilight. I'm all "the way to peace is to tear the vampire to shreds and burn the pieces, grasshopper." Or something like that.

It was an insidious transformation. First we talked constantly about Twilight (er, okay, we still do that). Mini-Edward and his exploits followed shortly thereafter, covertly at first but eventually we'd whip him out wherever the hell we were.

Fast forward a few months later and I'd be walking down the street and see some dude with crazy hair and think to myself, "hey, that guy has Robward hair!" or "I wish Alice was here so she could have warned me not to get shit-faced at the company party". The next thing I know I'm doing the unthinkable - I'm talking to strangers on the train. I would see someone with one of the books and the Most Important Rule** ever is completely forgotten and I would speak to them. About Twilight.

Moving right along the Twi-line to present day and I find myself sniffing perfumes at Kohl's because they have the word Twilight in their names. And I'm suddenly struck with the thought, "holy fuck, I don't know if I like this scent because it smells good or because of the name."

But it wasn't until this weekend that I knew, just knew, that Twilight had really, totally and completely taken over my brain.

Photo from here

SnarkierThanYou and I went to TJMaxx over the weekend. As is our nature in stores like this, I made a beeline for the shoes and she raced toward the handbags.

So there I am, perusing last year's rejects in a size 6 when I spot them. My heart picks up speed and I actually let out a little squeak. I want them. Badly.

I'm reaching toward those suckers when it hits me harder than Tyler's van would have hit Bella if Edward didn't get all 'knight in fucking shining armor' on her.

SQUEEeeeeeeeee? Oh no. I've just hit rock bottom...


What the hell is wrong with me?

These boots are an abomination! These are the kind of shoes you only wear if you live someplace really wet all the time, are camping, or are shoveling out horse manure. Yet I was actually considering introducing them to my closet full of cute and adorable shoes. Shoes with bows and roses. Shoes with skinny heels and sharp plaids. Fuck me silly stilettos that leave me hobbling for days after I wear them [in more ways than one!]. Pink heels, for fuck sake! I mean, sure they could have hobnobbed with my 14-hole Docs but what. the. fuck. was. I... ohhhh. Fuuuuuuck me.

I only want them because they remind me of the boots Bella was wearing in the movie.

These shoes. But not that fucking hat. Ooooh, I like that bag, too... Wait, when the hell did she have that bag?! How could I have missed that. Oh well, guess I have to watch the movie... again.

I backed away from the boots slowly, vaguely horrified as I processed the fact that I was just about to buy a pair of ugly ass boots that I will never, ever use in my lifetime just because they reminded me of Twilight.

Finally, I text STY. I wanted affirmation that I still had one shred of sanity left and that these thoughts were okay.

Is it bad that I want to get a pair of rain boots bc they look like the ones Bella was wearing in Twilight?

My phone beeps a few seconds later.

Are u really texting me from the shoe section?????

What? Did she actually think I was going to hunt her down? Hellooooo, handbags are like twenty feet from the shoes. I'm not a marathon runner. Clearly, I went to the wrong person. And anyway, I had moved on even further from her. I only know this because I could see her red noggin bobbing through the clothing racks. I'm thinking if I ever changed my handle I would change it too 'Lazy Twat-face"

I text her back.

No, I'm in Housewares.

I hit send and look up at the shelf I'm standing next to. Right there, on eye level, is a glass candle. With a picture of a cupcake on it.

Holy crap, these look like breasts with the nipples on fire. Just sayin'...

For those of you that don't know cupcakes are synonymous with Tattward in Clipped Wings & Inked Armor (if you haven't yet, you must read this).


uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I stare at it. It winks at me and whispers seductively, "you know you want me. You want to bring me home and light me up and pretend that you're about to fuck Tattward three ways from Wednesday. Say it. Out loud. You want me because I remind you of Twilight fan fiction!!!"

GAH!!! Fine, fine YES! I WANT YOU!! Satisfied? I mean, I don't even like the smell of cupcakes but I needed that candle. So I bought it. I'd already passed up on the useless boots, after all. And anyway, I don't recall Bella getting any action in those boots but a candle always sets a nice romantic tone, right?

I get my purchases home and hide any contraband I shouldn't have bought from ML, since we're on something that's a total buzz-kill called 'a budget'. Then I light my cupcake candle, saunter over to the computer and sit down to reread CW&IA, the sweet smell of butter cream all around me. By the time ML got home I was practically licking the computer screen.

"Hi," he says, looking alarmed at the probably feral, insane look on my face.

"Hi..." I trail off because, for a split second, I came very close to doing A Very Bad Thing. And ML knows it.

ML looks at the screen and recognizes the fan fiction website. He frowns. "You were going to call me Edward, weren't you?"

"No," I blustered. "Of course not, don't be silly!!"

But I was.

Yup. Twilight owns me. Hard.

** The Most Important Rule Ever is the rule that you never, ever talk to someone you don't know because they are most likely an insane, demented person who will kidnap and do unspeakable, vile, painful things to you just because you said "hi". I think this rule may only apply to the East Coast, however, because you folks in the South are really fucking friendly.

116 comments:

  1. I'm PAINFULLY in need of NM to just already come out! I am flipping through various blogs, and ff I know haven't been updated, desperate for my fix - and it's getting harder to get one:/

    Btw - TJ Maxx had a copy of BD and I almost bought it... I already own it! Why? Why would I buy something I already have? Because I'm also in desperate need of Twilight.

    And yes, southerns are a little ridiculously friendly. My dad recently moved down there, and you can't grocery shop without someone telling you their life story.

    Thanks for posting tonight... I needed some:)

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  2. Hey what about us West coasters? We are pretty damn nice too!

    It's OK JJ because I think we are all in the same boat. Everything makes me think about Twilight or Twifanfic these days--EVERYTHING. I was sitting in a horrific training today at work so wishing I had an iPhone or Blackberry so I could be tweeting with you all when I started looking at the guy in front of me and thinking he was kind of built like Rob....fast forward. This guy was nothing like Rob but I can't help but think these things. Then there were the cupcake pajamas that my mom bought for my 4 year old, the t-shirt at Target that said "Scary Kitty"......I sit there cackling to myself, laughing hysterically in my office at work, and I seem to have a constant smirk on my face ALL DAY. You people are the only ones that understand this....and this is I am home here at Twitarded.

    I love the cupcake candles but you should have bought the boots....especially for when you finally visit Forks someday--you will NEED them.

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  3. 1) Thank GOD you didn't get those boots. As a fellow shoe addict - I'm glad you didn't.

    2)I think you need this. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33314209

    Hell - it's even called the bella.

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  4. Tattward = TOTESFUCKHAWTNESS!

    I've kinda wanted those boots and know where you can get that bag if you want - you can see it when Bella first arrives at Charlies, in Port Angeles and when she's packing for Pheonix!

    - Lorabell xxx

    P.s. LOVE that you nearly called YL "Edward" - I *wish* I was that far gone :D

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  5. All I can say is that I'm typing this in a crowded concert hall because Twitarded is more interesting than what I paid to see. Enough said.

    I hear some southerners are nice, but I don't ever talk to those asshats.

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  6. Oh my god that apron! Mannn i need my another CW & IA hit! im running like 6 different fan fics at the moment, all incomplete! Fuck My Life!

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  7. @Lauren - Trust me, we're in the same boat. NM just needs to get here all ready.

    @VitaminR - pthhhp. Fine. West Coasters are nice too (not all of them, actually, but I'm not going there). It's only us mean old impatient East coasters that are bastids. ;)

    @Twiswearstoofuckingmuch - WHY did you give me that link?! I don't even cook and I WANT IT!!! LOL!

    @Lorabell - I, um, actually did call him Edward. Twice, I believe. The first time he was under the influence and only gave me a funny look. Not so sure about the 2nd time cuz' we were both, um, a few sheets to the wind but I'm pretty sure I did. Poor ML. I do love him so.

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  8. @ cass - I'm up to 9 if you include 15 step. The agony! I feel your pain

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  9. THANK YOU for giving me a full on belly laugh. It felt so good. The texting really got me, haha.

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  10. @ JJ -Um..sorry... What about this one? It's cheaper! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33366982

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  11. Yes...talking to someone on the train is pretty risky here in NY...you might as well walk the streets at night looking lost...both actions invite the commitable...

    I've secretly tried to puff the front of my son's hair up in the front under the guise of a "loving hug"...and cried when my daughter said she likes Jacob better.


    I've also wondered how old is "too old" to wear Converse...anyone?

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  12. @Mrs. P - you are never too old to wear Converse, imo. Seriously. Same with Vans. The first pair of Vans I ordered were from the back of a skate magazine. I think it was 1991 (whatev, I'm old) and they took forever and I loooooooved them. 18 years later (holy shit, I am old!)I still sport the vans.

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  13. I started thinking of my life this morning as B.T. (before twilight) and A.T. (after twilight) this morning when my hairdresser made an appointment for me on October 24th and I automatically thought that by the time I come back I will have finally seen New Moon.

    Also, I just emailed a guy on cl personals mainly because his said his name was Edward. (This is after I went on a date last week with a guy just because he had a hot British accent. Turned out to be the WORST date of my life.)

    Dont. Buy. Those. Boots.

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  14. I relate. More than I care to admit.

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  15. I bought a bottle of wine because its name is Cupcake...all because of CW&IA! And it was rather good! Drank the entire bottle while reading the latest update. Delish!!

    Have I mentioned how awesome you all are??

    New Moon can't come soon enough!!!!

    (and I caved...I totally watched the extended kissing scene tonight - and GOD! It was so worth it! I feel like a dirty little whore! LOVE IT!)!!

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  16. I am so weak! I couldn't keep myself from watching the damn video clip over at ROBsessed. Like I posted over there, I don't think Rob has to worry about any of us after the movie is released because we will all be dead. At least death by multiple Robgasms will be a beautiful way to go.

    But I digress. You are not alone, JJ.

    Exhibit A - I remodeled the spare bedroom and built the color scheme around the style of curtains I found called "Eclipse."

    Exhibit B - I'm not a girly girl and don't do manicures or pedicures. But to celebrate my niece's upcoming wedding, my sister planned an girls' day and signed us up for pedicures. When I sat down in my assigned chair, there on the coffee table next to me was a People magazine with Rob's picture staring back at me. This gave me the excuse (like I needed one) to ask the poor girl stuck doing my pedicure if she was into Twilight. She wasn't really, so I spent the next hour enlightening on her on the subject. When it came time to paint my toenails, she said she had just the color for me. She left and came back with a dark blue, almost black nail polish called...wait for it..."Twilight." Needless to say, she won me over with that gesture. I'm signed up for another damn pedicure just before the New Moon release!

    There's more, but you get the idea :)

    Lisa

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  17. Oh my jeebus fuck you're effing HILARIOUS. I'm like, snorting and shit here...and than you for CW & IA. Ima read that asap.

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  18. @twichotic...the spoiler was freakin' awesome...
    Yes...I fell off the spoiler wagon once again...
    My bad

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  19. I've done the Very Bad Thing...to my dog. Which is rather sad, when you think about it.

    Almost-Mr-Sister-Banshee was putting up a sensor for the outdoor lights last week, and he was trying to figure out what the 't' on the dial meant. He was pretty sure the 'd' was for 'dawn', so I said "It's probably 'twilight'," and Sister Banshee rolled her eyes. I defended myself and told her it would make no sense if they used dawn and dusk for obvious reasons. I then asked her in a small voice "Am I really that bad?" to which she replied "Yes you fucking are." SO glad I'm not the only completely Twinsane person out there. Thank you Twitarded!

    I could totally get away with wearing those fugly boots here in what I'm pretty sure is the rainiest fucking county in Ireland. Which is already a really rainy fucking country. Sigh. Now I'm making excuses to wear hideous boots. I'm so pathetic :/

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  20. if you want to know exactly how crazy i am... take a look at some of these pics!.... (caution : you may get scared...lol)
    http://twitpic.com/photos/Robstenfan

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  21. Oh man dont mention that new trailer again, honestly i was squirming in my seat. i feel sorry for the other people in the cinema when i go!

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  22. STY & JJ -

    I think I may love you. Lots. Hard. Long. Seriously. How do you come up with this shit? You have a gift!!

    Us Midwesterners are known to start a conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime, even if the other person is not interested and does not talk back. That is our way. I try not to do it, something takes hold of me and I can't stop myself.

    OMG - I just had a random-talk-to-a-stranger-cause-they-are-reading-Twilight moment myself this past week at the gym. I think I am some sort of Twievangalist trying to convert more to my coven.

    If you didn't see the kissing scene, its now gone. All I can say is that I believe Rob got me pregnant (through the clip) by his moans and "O" face. I had to watch over & over to confirm that #1 - it was open mouthed #2- Kristen started the wimpers that spurred on Rob's moans #3 - shit, this is supposed to be spoiler free zone? My bad... Bhuahhhhahhhhh

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  23. What I love is that my cupcake collection started before I read CW&IA. Now it has taken on a whole new meaning. My DH is none the wiser.

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  24. K Needs Help - never fear, theres another vid!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l67m8CV8wKs

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  25. I've nearly called my husband "Edward" more than once and the only thing I was drunk on was lust. I have no idea how I'm going to explain myself if that ever happens. I may have to do some confessing. (yikes!)

    I feel like I have Twilight or Rob or fanfic on my mind in some form or another at ALL times. My partner in crime (teenaged daughter) recently rolled her eyes at me and said "Please tell me that doesn't have something to do with Twilight) as I was reading the iPhone that never leaves my hands. Meh. I knew she didn't have it in her to go the distance. It seems my obsession is all fun and games for her to join in until her selfish teenaged self wants something from me. Then suddenly it's an annoying distraction. Whatever. Btw I would kill to see that video clip. I haven't been able to pull up any of them and have had to settle for looking at the screenshots and listening to everyone else's panty melting descriptions. I love hearing
    Rob moan when he sings. I'll probably implode when I
    hear him in the kissing scene.

    JJ & Sty-yeah you've probably gone way over the edge, but at least there's a lot of us out there with you !

    W/V: agracelo--since I'm currently reading about MafiaPrinceward, it sounds like a made-up Italian word, and it means...mmmm that was fantastic, thank you very much.


    F Kat

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  26. God I gotta read CW&IA!

    What about us west coasters?!? Huh we're nice out here! Well I'm kind of a snarky bitch, but hey.

    Ok honey those boots are just butt ugly! I live in a rain forest and wouldn't buy them even on a dare!

    I'm still on the fence about the Bella dress... My twi-merch is so out of hand... I like the dress but where the hell am I going to wear it?!

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  27. http://www.reelempire.com/news/68-movies/1106-qtwilight-new-moonq-kissing-scene

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  28. @raptor - THANK YOU! I was going into shakes without it. BTW - is that you in your avi-thingy? Holy cleavage batman!

    I really don't mean to be a Twi-devil and lead you Twi-virgins down my deep, dark path to NM hOordom, but you REALLY need to watch the kissing scene multiple times. The 1st time I was like that wasn't so hot, why is everyone freaking out? The 2nd time I heard Rob's moans. The 3rd time I thought I was watching a Robsten sex tape. It is that intense. If Scummit keeps this up, we won't have to worry about the BD sexy scenes. I just don't know how I am going to survive the moans in surround sound. I may combust right there in the theater.

    I need to consult my trusty NM book, but I believe at this point Edward had made up his mind to leave. You can totally see that in his face. Rob has really upped his acting chops in this one. He even swallows his venum before kissing her. That sounded bad.

    Word verification: ovores - what Rob made explode tonight.

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  29. K Needs help- hhhahahahah thats me, i put it up in the hope Robert Pattinson will just be randomly searching blogger profiles and the whoreish amounts of cleavage will grab his attention and he'll fly all the way to Australia and sweep me off my feet?

    yeh ok, that wont happen.

    i know what you mean about watching it a few times, and those sounds were so intense, i actually thought i was watching a porno too. i cant believe how worked up i am over a kiss!!

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  30. @JJ - I've admitted before that CW&IA is what caused me to get my lip piercings! Was planning on working up to others, but hot shit on toast did the first round hurt so I think I'm about done with the steel.

    The boots would fit right in my neck of the woods this time of year, Seattle is rain rain rain about now. Good call on the cupcake candle though : )

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  31. twitarded,
    i just wanted to say your site kicks serious ass and i check it like a maniac for new blogs, which continue to make me nearly piss myself, every time, no joke..anywho's...what was i saying? ah yes..the twilight obsession. i have gone past the realm of obsessed you-are-way-too-fucking-old-to-be-wanting-to-fuck-the-hell-out-of-taycob/robward..ah fuck who am i kidding the entire frickin cast (yes that means k stew too!)wheh, now i am all hot n bothered..damnit side tracked again! what im trying to say is that i am seriously worried for my well being! for the last 2 months i have spent damn near every night until 2-3am reading fanfic (need some new suggestions by the way cuz i've read all the ones u have suggested already, which were fucktastic!)i am doing my internship and have thought..hmm maybe i should concentrate on that..wait, no! if i get kicked out i will have more time to youtube twilight or read wide awake for the gazilionth time! (if u couldnt tell by my incessant f-bombs), moral of the story is you are not alone and we are all a wee bit cookoo, and pray to cupcakes and unicorns i dont get kicked out of my internship over my obsession!

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  32. @raptor - ummm, I don't think Rob is a boob guy. ;) But I like your thinking! And I agree with you 1000% about the kissing scene. It is a porno. Sex standing up. Fully clothed. I can't stop watching. Just one more hit and I will go to bed, one more...

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  33. @K Needs Help - ok I just got shivers and a little quiver just by reading your post on how Robward moans! ok, fallin off the band wagon, gotta go watch!

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  34. :O

    I...ome...how am I going to watch this with my mother?!!

    my legs (I just spelled lrdg instead of legs) are jello and I wet myself!

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  35. Okay. Completly addicted to Twilight. I caught the Twilight bug late (after the movie came out, but have never looked back. I can't read anymore books. I use to read 4 books (romance) a week and stopped buying books because I can only read the Saga over and over again. Work has become something I do in between checking the internet for anything remotley related to Twilight. Go Robsten. Within the last month with the count down of NM, I can't have a conversation without bring up Twilight or finding a Twilight connection. Its driving my family and friends nuts. Talyor Swift was on a local country radio station this morning, and I listened dying to hear anything about her relationship with Taylor L. And last, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight.

    PS, I live in the south and everyone waves or says hi to someone even if you don't know them.

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  36. @raptor - I must say I am having some boob & hair envy right now.

    @Cat - Go. Watch. Multiple times w/ volume up. Hurry! Trust me, its worth falling off the bandwagon!!!

    I may have developed bed sores due to this damed Twiobsession. Been on the computer all night. Enough. I am even scaring myself a bit. Night ladies. Sweetest Rob dreams!

    word verification? Immina. Immila going to bed now.

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  37. You guys CRACK me up..seriously I would just bust out laughing today thinking about the panties...It's nice to know I am not the only sicko ;-) I mean I am 43 for crap sake! Is it wrong to rub my husband down with sparkle lotion???? I went the bath and body works this weekend and almost bought that new something Twilight lotion they have and I didnt even like it because it gave me an allergy attack...Why cant they just let the frickin movie out NOW???? Oh and that Video of the extended kiss...is off the hook crazy hotness... I cant even sleep now. I love you guys thanks for being here for me.

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  38. [im Raptor btw, just couldn't log in]


    anon - i was a latecomer too, and in a way thats good because we skipped the wait for the books and now the first movie! but its all coming back now.

    k needs kelp - *blushes* shhhh your making me self conscious! lol thanks.

    cat - LOL your mother! i have to watch with my younger sister, but thats not as bad as if i saw it with my mum! unless your mum is a dirty bird like the rest of us haha?

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  39. Ok. I hate to admit, but I looked at those boots and thought "OMG. Totally practical. I need a pair of those." But can I offer the excuse of living in the Northwest? They really are a good idea if you live here.

    And cupcakes? Holy crap. I am a DEVOTED CW&IA fan and I have to agree that I CANNOT and WILL NOT look at cupcakes the same. Ever. Again.

    You are not alone.

    *My confession*
    I think about making T-shirts with phrases from fanfic all the time. Then I realize NO ONE would ever understand them.

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  40. All I am going to admit to now (not b/c I am embarrassed, but b/c it's fucking late & I've been up too long skyping twitter pals about fanfiction & watching The Clip) is that I bought a Bella Jacket (you know the one!) and I bought a netbook so I could read fanfiction IN BED (while I have a huge iMac downstairs). And then I made my husband install wireless. I also may or may not have redone my laundry room in a twilight theme.

    Is it bad that I want the same Cupcake charm from Tiffany that E got B in CW&IA? Sigh.

    Anyway, I don't even know why I started a blog, because you guys do it so fucking well & nail your posts every single time. I don't say it enough, but I adore you guys.

    xoxo

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  41. I'm avoiding New Moon like crazy, and the week it comes out I'm just taking off completely.

    By the way, LMAO "Holy crap, these look like breasts with the nipples on fire. Just sayin'..."

    I have a thing for collecting cupcake paraphernalia, and I was recently at TJ Maxx, spotted this giant porcelain cookie jar in the shape of a cupcake complete with red cherry on top. I was carrying it to the cart when my mom literally took one look at it and said, "Put that back. It looks like a nipple."

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  42. Um.. Tattward has totes convinced me to get that tatt I have always been umming & aahing about..

    He is FUCKHAWT.. nuff said.

    Oh god - do I watch the kissing scene or remain a Robmoan virgin for now??? aaaarrrggghhhh

    WV ; hanst - as in, I want tattwards hanst all over me..

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  43. -Ummm some where around chapter 12 of CW&IA I actually BAKED CUPCAKES! Just because Tattward likes them!!!

    -I wear a lot more blue and gray now....

    -The Twilight Map Of the Brain is so spot on. I have lost days to fan fic.

    -Talking to my dad about what to make for supper a few days ago, he replies with "Carlisle, what's my other option!" Dear old daddy may me a tad Twitarded himself!

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  44. If you have gone completely around the bend you are in good company.

    I nearly busted a gut Monday when browsing around Walden Books at our little dinky mall. I was checking out the Twilight merch, but then saw a small ceramic figurine called... are you ready for this? Unicorn Wishes. Had to explain to my co-worker who refuses to read Twilight "because she is a Christian" what I was excited about.

    I live in the South where people talk to or wave at everyone whether they know them or not. We have a very broad definition of neighbor down here.

    Thanks for making the rest of us way to obessed people feel like we are "normal".

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  45. Funny the minute I saw the pic of the cupcakes I thought of Tattward...not having even read that part of your post. lol! I love me some Broken Wings and Inked Armor. I think since I started reading that fic I have been more attracted to guys with tattoos. Oh dear

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  46. Oh my God, I think I cracked a rib laughing!
    My confession...a little background...I have no children, I am 43. My niece is currently living with me and she has 3 kids. Today, I just happened to be waiting outside when the first one is supposed to get off the bus (pretending to forget he had band practice and didn't ride the bus home) just so I could trap the neighbor's daughter (14) and talk about twilight. (I am listening to the audio books for like the 10th time and I am on Breaking Dawn - my fave) About 2 minutes into the conversation I see her eyes glaze over (she is a so-so fan). She starts to back away and says, "I have to go make a snack for my little brother." I reluctantly let her go and walked away in shame.
    Thank God it was before I watched that damn moaning kiss video or I'm afraid my conversation would have gotten inappropriate! I am a shameless addict.
    BTW I swear my ovaries wiggled when I watched that video! Geez I'm such a perv!

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  47. OME! I am glad I am not the only crazy one around here. That kiss was the hottest I have ever seen I think. It beats out the scene in Top Gun with Tom Cruise. The audio of Rob's moans are incredible! You can still see it at http://robsessed-mytwilife.blogspot.com/2009/10/new-moon-casts-late-night-appearances.html where she has a loop of it on the site, regrettably without the audio. If you save it and open it with Windows Media Player you can at least watch a full-sized version of it. Oops, I think my Windows Media Player just crashed....guess it overheated.

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  48. Living for Twilight? Well. Last week I thought I saw PFach in the parking lot at Walmart. In Loveland, Colorado. Refrained from pointing him out to my 7-year-old because she's got her hands full mocking me about Edward. Whenever possible.

    The imminence of New Moon has only heightened my obsession. I got my ticket this week for the premiere and when an acquaintance emailed me her similar level of Twi-interest I almost started crying. Still working on the virginity thing and only watched the kiss vid once. All right, twice. Get off my back!

    @Track10 - "Carlisle, what's my othe option?!" Fuckin' perfect. He's a keeper.

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  49. Oh my gawd... I love the comfort I feel knowing I'm not alone in the Twilight madness. Thanks again for the laughs! And so goes that ever famous saying... when it comes to all things Twilight, "I do not suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

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  50. @Raptor--lol. I used to have my boob shot up for the same delusional reason. ;) I've seen more than one pic of (usually drunk) Rob checkin out boobs.

    F Kat

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  51. Hahahaha!

    This is the best post - ever - from you JJ. I enjoyed every bit, especially the one when you were just about to call ML "Edward". Poor guy!

    Seriously, how does he handle your obsession? How do both your partners handle it?

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  52. my vote for the best name EVER:TwiwasgoinginforthekisswhenIgotadickinmymouth

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  53. @Sparkle - You get my vote for the best follow-up comment to this post! Trapping the neighbor girl at the bus stop, your ovaries wiggling. Hilarious!!

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  54. You fucktards are going to make me late for work... oh well it's worth it. Awesome post! I was dying laughing over the boots because I immediately had to look them up after I saw the movie - they are very expensive UGGS if I remember correctly! Too rich for my wallet!

    And HOLY FUCK, I can't believe how my version of The Twilight Brain has gotten around!! It's just crazy!! I didn't realize that so many people had picked it up. LOL!!

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  55. I knew I'd wake up to a wonderful string of comments from last night!

    Exhibit #35 proving that I'm "living the way of the Twilight" ... I woke up 20 minutes early to check your blog post for more comments this morning. And I LOVE sleeping. Twilight and fanfiction now come before sleeping!

    Exhibit #35 - I never really thought much about alternative and pop music. I liked the songs but never listened to alot of radio music. I am hooked to my alternative music station now b/c they play Death Cab for Cutie, Muse, Paramore (who I really don't like but listen to all the time b/c of the Twi).

    And practically EVERY song I hear reminds me of either Twilight, Robert Pattinson, or Fanfiction -- for example: lady gaga's song Paparazzi - all about RPattz... and Nine Inch Nails' Closer and Buckcherry's Crazy Bitch - all about fanfiction! (songs on my iTunes "running on treadmill" playlist).

    #86 - I'm going to the midnight showing of New Moon on 11/19 with my BFF and another friend who both really love the Twilight saga... BUT...I'm starting to get concerned b/c I'm not sure they love it "enough." You know what I mean?

    @Shannon - do it! Make that shirt. I've been wanting to make one with a big cupcake on the front, and on the back a list of names: Edward, Robward, Tattward, Angstward, Domward, and Beautiful Bastard.

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  56. I'm trying to convince my friend that works for Tiffany's to get me a discount on the doughnut-link necklace from the Submissive series, but he's convinced I should get a better one. He just doesn't understand. :(

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  57. hahaha, you read my mind JJ

    I have undergone a complete wardrobe transformation/mid-life crisis in 2 months (read Twilight in August, late to this, i know)

    I use to be heels and pretty skirts, flower prints and frills and bows. Now i have 2 pairs of converse, only ever wear skinny jeans, am thinking of wearing my hiking boots around town (they're a lot like the rain boots) and wear t-shirts constantly. T-SHIRTS?!? I DON'T OWN ANY T-SHIRTS! (I do now - La Push Cliff diving T-shirt from Cafe press!)

    It's because i want to be Kristen more than anything. (because then Rob will love me too. of course.)

    At least I don't want to be Bella because her clothes are dog-rough. (short sleeved shirt with whire piping?! OH MAKE ME VOMIT)

    but i find myself staring in the mirror every morning wondering who i am these days. I say embrace it. If it is a mid-life crisis it's the first of many i'm sure.

    re the talking to someone on the tube (London baby) i did the same thing a while ago. it turned out well though :)

    http://twipnotized.blogspot.com/2009/10/divine-secrets-of-twilight-sisterhood.html

    (how dull is this comment?! Shit i'm boring myself.. sorry guys! xx)

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  58. i feel like i live, eat, and breathe twilight but find myself having NO idea what you guys are talking about when you say CW&IA??? what is that?!! i need to know!!

    quick story, last night the bf and i were watching 3 hours of the office, and a commercial for new moon came on... he has seen me reading these books everyday since april, has never asked me what they were about, i've never told... when he saw the commercial, with the digital werewolves and vampires, he LITERALLY pointed and laughed in my face, accusing me of thinking i'm 14 (i'm literally double that age) and rolled around laughing on the floor.

    he just about made me cry, and for a split second, he made me wonder if there is something wrong with hanging on to this undying love that i have for rpattz, kstew, and all things twilight!!! i realized NO, i am proud to love this saga that for some reason, makes me happier than anything i've been involved in a long time!!!

    i did NOT tell him though how i have already pre-bought my tickets to see this on 11/20 at 1pm and plan on calling out of work sick :)

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  59. That was great. You should have bought the boots ;)

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  60. @ohmyrob! You're so right about the happiness thing! Twilight has made me happier than i have been for ages! And feel younger! (and older all at once. weird) i really do wonder what that's about! Nothing in book or film (besides Dr Strangelove or Practical Magic) has ever made me this happy..

    @twichotic - so know what you mean about 'do they love it "enough"?' I have a lovely little nuclear family of UK-based Twitards but I worry that i'm the one doing the chasing. I'm the one who wouldn't break up with Twilight no-matter-what. I'm the one that does all the blogging... I rely on you Twitards. You're the ones who understand!

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  61. @sparkle - thanks! Credit the lovely and talented Twitarded girls for the clever moniker. :)

    @OhmyRob! - There is a link on this post to Clipped Wings and Inked Armour (CW/IA). I must warn you, after discovering TAttward, I'm am now a few weeks away from getting my first tattoo ever. Not because I'm so young but because for the first time in my forty (mumble something) year life I feel *inspired* to do it! (He does crazy things to us. I hear I'm not the first. )

    W/V: Wesadmo - We sad mo cuz New Moon November ain't coming fast enough.

    F Kat

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  62. LMAO When I saw the cupcake I automatically thought of CW&IA. *sigh* Tattward.

    Oh and I've got an awesome fanfic for you to read. You might already know about it but it's fucking awesome! Has an actual storyline to it and not all lemons.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5180793/1/Emancipation_Proclamation

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  63. My last comment got cut off but it's called Emancipation Proclamation. Go read!

    P.S. My word verification word has cult in it. Coincidence? Maybe.

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  64. Well, those fugly boots might look okay if you let Red Bella get ahold of them and paste Robward's face on there. Next, I must confess to you that I am a fanfic virgin. I know, blasphemous and all, I haven't even read the Twitarded chapters! This is because I KNOW that once I get into it, I will never be able to step away from the computer. I have waaay too much work to do at home, and can't afford the mouse to become like an umbilical cord (even though we are cordless, you get what I mean). I don't know how much longer I can hold out! I can tell I'm really missing out on something special.

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  65. At this point, I'm too afraid to admit to myself how much Twilight rules my life. My teenage daughter got me started, but even she's starting to look at me now like I'm a little crazy (and I've been hiding most of it from her like a crack addiction). I'm a slave to fanfic and my current obsession is (coincidentally) Emancipation Proclamation. Sleep is so overrated.

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  66. @AmyD: Wimp! You think the lip is bad, try the tongue. I have both, plus nose, tragus and helix. I LOVED piercings even before CW&IA, but I'm not hardcore, like one of Sister Banshee's friends. She looks like someone attacked her with a nail gun.

    @TwiwasgoinginforthekisswhenIgotadickinmymouth: Good luck with the tatt! Tattward has inspired me to get one too, but it'll be a while, since I'm broke. Sniffle.

    Oh and a big fuck you all to everyone who described that kiss in so much fucking detail that I had to fall off the chastity wagon and go check it out. I feel so dirty... Currently trying to MCGyver my Twymen back together. Bitches.

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  67. @Z Any Mouse: You're probably smart to hold off on fanfic. I did for a long time only cuz I didn't want my precious characters fucked with AND I'm a writing snob and didn't want to read amateur crap. I tried one. I now operate on 3 hours of sleep a night. The bright side is, my own writing bug is back. Hold out if you want to keep your life sane.

    @Banshee - Yeah, my Twymen is looking pretty ragged too. The Groan was too much for my willpower. What else are they going to throw at us in only 3 fucking weeks?!

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  68. @suzspetals: Not much I hope! I don't think I could take it. Fucking moans had me moaning right along with them. And I was doing so well, too. Bastards.

    Z Any Mouse: suzspetals is right, you're totally better off. When I was doing a course for work I spent more time reading fanfic than doing assignments, which I usually threw together at the last minute. And the sleep deprivation is starting to make me look like a vampire. Minus the superhuman fuckhawtness, natch.

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  69. That was the single funniest thing I have ever read! When I first saw the picture of those boots I was like "I want those!" And YES...they are ugly! And I have also read CW&IA so I can completely understand and relate. I too have almost licked the computer screen (uhhh...chapter 22 anybody???)

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  70. Ha ha ha! We have 69 comments! I am such a perv.

    First of all - all you who are tempting us with Edward's moaning during the kiss scene. You suck. But I say it with love, so it's all good.

    @Z any Mouse - If you thought Twilight was time consuming, wait until you check out fan fiction. I think my vagina tingles just thinking about it - doesn't even matter which one. Yup, definitely tingly. LOL. Sleep becomes secondary, trust me.

    And I love that so many of you have similar stories. It makes me feel less... insane. Insanity loves company, isn't that how the saying goes? ;)

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  71. OMG... Poor ML... It's worse if you know what the other is thinking...
    And these boots are really awful. You shouldn't even consider it. You seriously need help... (Kidding!)

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  72. When reading WA I had a terrible craving for cookies (still do).

    And The Office... I allready loved La Perla lingerie; I've taken my love for it to a all different level.

    Now with CW&IA I want cupcakes!!! And guess what? In Portugal, we don't have cupcakes! We have cakes but they don't have the topping... So what do I do? I surf the net for recipes, of course! One of these days I'm gonna bake my one cupcakes!!!
    And, this morning I was actually thinking "hey, if Red Bella starts the undies business maybe she can make me a cupcake one..."

    How bad do I have it. Be honest with me...

    Ah, thanks for existing Twitard! Only here do I feel I'm understood!

    @JJ: loved the post. Love that you text STY while a few feet away from here! Laughing hard as usual.
    And I can totally relate with you on the "Yup. Twilight owns me. Hard." subject. *sigh*

    I'm trying to decide if I'll watch the kissing scene or not. You're not making it easy...

    @Tiffany: I'm reading emancipation proclamation now. I'm hooked. :)

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  73. @JJ (& STY) - I have to say it. The birthday kiss scene is definitely worth early removal of the stitches from your surgically repaired hymens. If fanfic makes your vagina all kinds of tingly, then be prepared for the Robgasm of your life. I seriously considered taking my lunch break and dragging some co-workers into the conference room so we could watch it on the company's huge hi-def, flat screen TV for Christ's sake! I'm so on fire...er...so getting fired ;) Lisa

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  74. If you are looking for cupcake porn, check out "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World"

    http://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Cupcakes-Take-Over-World/dp/1569242739/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256752431&sr=8-1#noop


    Verification word: heetla. Hitler would have been nicer if he had some cupcakes.

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  75. My 17 year old nephew's name is Tyler. On more than one occasion I have called him Twiler (sometimes on purpose sometimes by accident).

    I'm sure he considers me an embarrassment.

    Um....this comment has nothing to do with sex......I am not on the "cupcake" line of thinking right now! GROSS!

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  76. @Rob's Bitch: I've added that to my shopping cart. Thanks.

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  77. Pending Further InvestigationOctober 28, 2009 at 2:15 PM

    well, i've only just begun my trip to Twihardom but the journey is fast... very fast. i held off as long as i could but once i started it there was no stopping. now i get paid to surf the net and read blogs about Twilight all day- battling with the guilt of being so out of control with my obsession and the immense happiness it brings to my boring day to day (that sans all things Twitastic would just be...meh....) then i stumble upon this site and the shoulder angels stop with all the nonsense and get engrossed in the story. my mom has had 2 heart to hearts with me in my short 23 years- one was about accepting w/e sexual orientation i might be (sigh- there are no longer any doubts) and the other was for me to promise her that i would not stalk or harm Robert Pattinson in real life (behind the computer screen was acceptable after hours long negotiation).
    until now ive been pretty fashion forward high maintenance jock loving snot, for lack of better word- but that has somehow changed since the breaking of the twymen (which is tattered once again from the delicious moan induced robgasm i've had 689 times today) *ashamed* now its all down play arist loving indie enthusiast... (my friends are convinced ive been body snatched)

    i know this is so long, but its my first post EVER in open forum re the robstewtwibsession- forgive my rambling.

    FanFiction has me terrified... i tried reading something other than a book in the twilight saga and it just irritated me- it took a week of sleepless nights to finish them all- so if this fanfic is as terrific as you all say- which im sure it is- the success of all my other relationships (even the one with the sun and fresh air) are at maximum risk.

    i some how feel better now. first step towards a full blown twitarded existence, first step away from the remnants of sanity i had left...

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  78. @ Pending Further Investigation - Welcome to the Twi-side!

    I didn't like fan fic either until I read Wide Awake, and I'm still very particular. I recommend giving it a try. http://angstgoddess003.livejournal.com/699.html

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  79. @Banshee - Damn you for calling me out! = ) I'm sending Domward over to punish you. Lucky fucker.

    But I'll admit it, I'm a complete pussy when it comes to piercing pain! However I LOVE getting inked and having it feel like a hot razor is cutting through my skin as they do the outline. Yum. Got my next consultation for some work Dec 21 !!

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  80. Oh my baby jesus...I needed that laugh. Thanks so much!!!
    Still giggling...and a snort or two. I heart your faces.

    veri word: cohorph...sounds like I'm trying to say co-horse only I have a speech impediment.

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  81. I’m laughing hysterically here..…you are so effin wonderful! U guys make me feel sane in my insane twilight addictive behavior. Reading your blog from Sweden and the Twilight hysteria is somewhat a little bit less here. And most of the hysterical fans are…well…a FEW years younger than me.. About half my age actually…. So I feel a liiiiiitle bit insane, but hey! Just a little bit. It’s not my fault that other Swedish people can understand how brilliant the move, and everything about/around it, is. I’m not at your level of addiction, yet. But I’m just assuming it’s a matter of time. Actually convinced my boyfriend that when we marry each other, we should go on a “around the world”-trip together..and get married during the trip. Guess where it starts? Ehumm…in the Olympic Peninsula (!)… Boyfriend; What honey? Okay, of course we could do that if you want to..I like hiking .But since when do you like hiking? You know it’s raining a lot there right?? Me; Well..eumm…am I not allowed to change, to grow ? Maybe I like the..ehhh…rainforest and the.ehhh…well the , the…..ee…waterfalls…The Nature (?). He looked a liiiitle bit suspicious but since he likes hiking I’m of the hook. I wonder WHEN he’s going to understand. Maybe when he finds out that we’ll live in a hotel in Forks ;)

    Thanks for updating so much..you make may life so much brighter!
    And hey, Edward should really come live in Sweden..way up North. It’s like dark all day and night long. No daylight at all..No sun. During winter we have approximately 2-3 hours of sunlight. No..I’m not kidding :P

    /Maria Sweden

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  82. I thought Bella wore Sorel boots in the movie? They're super-warm, and intended for duck-hunting in North Dakota and things like that.

    Psst. The internet has them for CHEAP.

    If you buy some, do post pictures.

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  83. So glad I found your blog yesterday, you ladies are hilarious! Between clicking on the link for "The Office" fanfic piece from one of your earlier posts and then seeing that new extended kissing scene clip before I left work yesterday (Robwards groans = puresex), my husband is very quickly realizing the benefits of my Twilight obsession...

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  84. Ladies I have been reading your blog for a while and you are both fuckin' hilarious.... however this post had me in tears! B/C this is EXACTLY the thing that happens to me....however unfortunatley I have no one to share this with other then the hubby when I am shopping and I just get the eye roll! Thank you for another great laugh!

    I do have to give my hubby a little credit.... he bought me the bella bag as a gift!!!!

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  85. Ok, so I'm just as bad as the rest of you. Sometimes I think my FF obsession is worse than my Twilight obsession. I don't know if this was a highlight or a low light for me, but I knew about the Tiffany cupcake charm BEFORE it was in CW&IA- I had already researched it and tried to justify buying it (which I couldn't) and low and behold the next update was Tattward buying the damn thing. I think I know what I want for Christmas from my own personal Beautiful Bastard.....how many sexual favors does it take to earn a really expensive Tifanny charm? I'll get back to you ;-)

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  86. We are all normal. We are all normal. We are all normal...... the more I tell myself this, the more I believe it. I am so glad I am not alone!! I have almost called my husband Edward MANY times! lol It's his fault though, he fuels the fire by being all sweet and surprising me with Twilight merch and not ripping on me when I get lost in a fanfic bender.

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  87. @MAINEGrl81 - Do you live in Maine? Just curious... I like to know there are others out there like me...

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  88. @Suzspetals - I can feel I'm going to cave any minute now. Sanity is highly overrated...

    @Banshee - So is sleep.

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  89. Now that I've seen the kissing vid (and not even pretending to be sorry that I watched it!)...well hot damn. As much as I want to see this movie I'm becoming more nervous that I'm going to somehow embarrass myself. My feet are firmly planted in the closet but it's becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

    That video must have gotten under my skin because I FINALLY got my RPattz dream. I was so jealous of you girls when you talked about it a few posts ago. My kiss was even shorter than Bella's in the clip, but very sweet! Not all angsty and sad either. I'm savoring the experience as I get back to full lucid dreaming. I only halfway knew I was dreaming. Enough so that I reached out to stroke his face and marvel at the fact that my mind could create such a beautiful replica. Definitely Rob, not Edward. And my own perfect version with just a little scruff. Mmmmm.

    F Kat

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  90. @AmyD: And sending Domward over would be a punishment how...? ;) What cracks me up is I can handle a big ass needle going through my nose/lip/tongue/whatever, but I fucking hate injections and have been known to pass out when having blood drawn. Weird, I know. I wonder how I'll handle my first tatt?

    @Z Any Mouse: Since discovering fanfic, sleep is definitely overrated. Definitely....overrated....zzzzzzzzz

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  91. My daughter offered to buy me a Twilight book she saw at her school's book fair. She's become my drug pusher. I. Love. Her.

    I feel like a Jehovah's Witness peddling Twimadness to the masses. It most def is a convo starter, which you'd think I'd hate considering I don't really like people.

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  92. I'm so confused... did I think the kissing scene was worthy of multiple watches... yes... but I didn't think it was good moaning so much as crying moaning... I thought Edward looked like he was in pain - which would make sense at that part. Did I miss something? That being said, yes, I watched it over and over and sighed about how far away NM is:/

    Also, I immediately went over to CW&IA and read the first chapter... very good, but then I checked for that little word "complete" - noticed it was not there and stopped myself before I found more crack to which there was a hopeless ending. I would end up reading all 25 chapters (or whatever it's at) in the next two days and then be agonizing over updates... I'm hopeless:/

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  93. OMG 92 comments (now 93)..Is that a Twitarded record? shit I needed this laugh tonight. work has been quite the clitcruncher this week! Gah! first time able to get here. I feel like a Twi-Monk toooo, JJ.

    i turned a friend (who knits) on to twilight and fanfiction. well she got hooked (pun intended) and she now is going to a midnight show and found a pattern for Bella's mittens...and do I want a pair? Oh jess!! sweet twi-gods! and what color do i want them in? BLUE!!!! It's everywhere..in my heart, my soul, girlie parts...I would have totally whiffed the perfume the same way..Though I usually only see 22 yr old girls reading them and I stop myself from saying something very embarassing.

    I had this moment in the gym today..I was quite stressed from work..and 3 girls in the locker were just being like silly young gilrz and irritating the fuck out of me..and I thought "Fuck that's the twilight demo...don't hate". i just thought I'd share how it plays with my head at all times.

    CW&IA ROCKS..and kittens and cupcakes will never be the same! ONLY BETTER..

    haha.totes relate!
    "you know you want me. You want to bring me home and light me up and pretend that you're about to fuck Tattward three ways from Wednesday. Say it. Out loud. You want me because I remind you of Twilight fan fiction!!!"

    Love you guys STY & JJ..Thanks for bringing my sanity back after a shit day with your posts!

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  94. Yeeesssss! I will NEVER, EVER look at cupcakes the same way now. I love me some Tattward and just, *sigh*, have such a sentimental fondness for the little cupcakes, now. You guys rock.
    Oh, and yes, the husbands KNOW the fanfic site as soon as they walk around you and take a peek at your computer screen, as if he didn't already know judging by the random laughter/giggles/groans and smile on your face. :)

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  95. Oh, JJ... I totally get what your saying. I brought my four year old to ToysRus yesterday with my heart set on getting him a halloween costume. I walked through the door, all fucking smug about being a good mom, and WHAMO, New Moon merch everywhere. It was like a god damn needle being dragged across a record. It was one of those moments were every sound is muted and you get tunnle vision. LOL! I found it's really dangerous to have Edward Cullens poster sized face sneak up on you like that. I nearly had an accident in isle one. Needless to say, I left with an arm full of new moon merch and no costume. I told my son he could play with mamma's twilight key chain. I guess I wont be seeing any mother of the year awards anytime soon.

    Yes, Twilight has officially ruined me...but in a wonderful, panty melting kinda way.

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  96. You've called your ML 'Edward' haha....I'm super afraid I'm going to call my hubby 'Rob' one of these days..... he would be sooo pissed!

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  97. @Kerri - ToysRUs, really?! I haven't been to one in years, but I may have to give ol' Geoffrey a visit. I stick out like a sore thumb at Hot Topic, but at TRU I would blend right in.

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  99. @Z Any Mouse - I know what you mean. At 47 (talk about outing myself!), I feel like an idiot going into Hot Topic to browse the Twilight merchandise. It's been years since I've shopped at Toys 'R Us, too, but I'm already humming the theme song and it was never truer, "I don't wanna grow up..."

    Lisa

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  100. Love those boots!!! Mostly because I actually live in the NW where it rains all the time & I do shovel manure. At least I could be the cool girl at the barn with "Bella Boots" LOL! Even if they are completley hideous.

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  101. @Kerri - Too funny! Don't feel bad; Twilight has caused the complete disqualification of my 'mother of the year' status. (4 straight hours of cartoons while I read The Office? No problem, sweetie!)

    @sprtzmom1721 - I'll out myself with you: I'm only 47 for a few more weeks. But about 24 at heart!

    wordver: iness, as in 'iness fun being a twitard?

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  102. @suzspetals - Love your wordver and love the fact that we are now going out together ;) And as for being 24 at heart, my blog banner proudly states "17 Forever . . . growing up is overrated."

    I was a blog virgin until joining the Twitarded family. I read a lot of blogs but never felt compelled to follow or even post an anon comment, until I found STY & JJ. They have managed to make my Robsanity feel "normal" regardless of my age.

    I clicked on your user name and it took me to your blog's home page. The banner is beautiful! I have no idea if clicking on my user name will take you to my blog or not (I may not be a blog virgin, but I'm not a blog whore yet, either; still trying to learn the tricks of the trade). If you, or anyone else for that matter, would like to check it out and the user name link doesn't take you there, please feel free to email me at lisa1721@gmail.com.

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  103. As always, you guys crack me up. I wish my sister and I lived closer, because this would totally be us, but with 4 rowdy kids in tow.

    I think it's crazy how quick we all are to purchase something that we know we don't need, just because it's Twilight related.

    I bought a "My Little Pony" unicorn for my sister for her 40th birthday and said it was from Wide Awake Edward. How gay is that? My S/O saw the little toy and asked what that was for - Of course I lied and said for our two year old little girl - who else? :)

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  104. Ok, this could be my life. I see twilight in EVERYTHING too. My friends think I'm nuts (ok that thought that before too!). Loved the cupcake one. Love CW&IA. I totally got that one! I just got a new keyboard at work and can't figure out why it amazed me and now I see it... It's called a "Saitek, ECLIPSE". Now everytime I look down I see the word Eclipse.....shoot me now!!

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  105. @sprtzmom and suzspetals - 1962 must have been a great year, I'm 47 too! Still 25 in my heart and mind. Now if I could just get my saggy old ass to think it's 25 too...crap!

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  106. In case you haven't seen it yet, here is the purse on etsy by its original creator:

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33380616&ref=sr_gallery_12&&ga_search_query=bella+bag+twilight&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&order=date_desc&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title

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  107. @Z Any Mouse - Damn 1962 looks old in print, doesn't it?! LOL!

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  108. I about peed myself laughing - you are HILARIOUS!!!

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  109. Seriously... I couldn't agree more! E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G is somehow related to Twilight! I just talked my Mother into naming her new puppy "Bella".

    P.S. Thanks for getting me hooked on CW&IA! I find that I've had to resort to reading it on my iPhone whenever I get a spare minute. I just can't put it down! Awesome!

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  110. OMG 92 comments (now 93)..Is that a Twitarded record? shit I needed this laugh tonight. work has been quite the clitcruncher this week! Gah! first time able to get here. I feel like a Twi-Monk toooo, JJ.

    i turned a friend (who knits) on to twilight and fanfiction. well she got hooked (pun intended) and she now is going to a midnight show and found a pattern for Bella's mittens...and do I want a pair? Oh jess!! sweet twi-gods! and what color do i want them in? BLUE!!!! It's everywhere..in my heart, my soul, girlie parts...I would have totally whiffed the perfume the same way..Though I usually only see 22 yr old girls reading them and I stop myself from saying something very embarassing.

    I had this moment in the gym today..I was quite stressed from work..and 3 girls in the locker were just being like silly young gilrz and irritating the fuck out of me..and I thought "Fuck that's the twilight demo...don't hate". i just thought I'd share how it plays with my head at all times.

    CW&IA ROCKS..and kittens and cupcakes will never be the same! ONLY BETTER..

    haha.totes relate!
    "you know you want me. You want to bring me home and light me up and pretend that you're about to fuck Tattward three ways from Wednesday. Say it. Out loud. You want me because I remind you of Twilight fan fiction!!!"

    Love you guys STY & JJ..Thanks for bringing my sanity back after a shit day with your posts!

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  111. My daughter offered to buy me a Twilight book she saw at her school's book fair. She's become my drug pusher. I. Love. Her.

    I feel like a Jehovah's Witness peddling Twimadness to the masses. It most def is a convo starter, which you'd think I'd hate considering I don't really like people.

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  112. I’m laughing hysterically here..…you are so effin wonderful! U guys make me feel sane in my insane twilight addictive behavior. Reading your blog from Sweden and the Twilight hysteria is somewhat a little bit less here. And most of the hysterical fans are…well…a FEW years younger than me.. About half my age actually…. So I feel a liiiiiitle bit insane, but hey! Just a little bit. It’s not my fault that other Swedish people can understand how brilliant the move, and everything about/around it, is. I’m not at your level of addiction, yet. But I’m just assuming it’s a matter of time. Actually convinced my boyfriend that when we marry each other, we should go on a “around the world”-trip together..and get married during the trip. Guess where it starts? Ehumm…in the Olympic Peninsula (!)… Boyfriend; What honey? Okay, of course we could do that if you want to..I like hiking .But since when do you like hiking? You know it’s raining a lot there right?? Me; Well..eumm…am I not allowed to change, to grow ? Maybe I like the..ehhh…rainforest and the.ehhh…well the , the…..ee…waterfalls…The Nature (?). He looked a liiiitle bit suspicious but since he likes hiking I’m of the hook. I wonder WHEN he’s going to understand. Maybe when he finds out that we’ll live in a hotel in Forks ;)

    Thanks for updating so much..you make may life so much brighter!
    And hey, Edward should really come live in Sweden..way up North. It’s like dark all day and night long. No daylight at all..No sun. During winter we have approximately 2-3 hours of sunlight. No..I’m not kidding :P

    /Maria Sweden

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  113. When reading WA I had a terrible craving for cookies (still do).

    And The Office... I allready loved La Perla lingerie; I've taken my love for it to a all different level.

    Now with CW&IA I want cupcakes!!! And guess what? In Portugal, we don't have cupcakes! We have cakes but they don't have the topping... So what do I do? I surf the net for recipes, of course! One of these days I'm gonna bake my one cupcakes!!!
    And, this morning I was actually thinking "hey, if Red Bella starts the undies business maybe she can make me a cupcake one..."

    How bad do I have it. Be honest with me...

    Ah, thanks for existing Twitard! Only here do I feel I'm understood!

    @JJ: loved the post. Love that you text STY while a few feet away from here! Laughing hard as usual.
    And I can totally relate with you on the "Yup. Twilight owns me. Hard." subject. *sigh*

    I'm trying to decide if I'll watch the kissing scene or not. You're not making it easy...

    @Tiffany: I'm reading emancipation proclamation now. I'm hooked. :)

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  114. Pending Further InvestigationApril 29, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    well, i've only just begun my trip to Twihardom but the journey is fast... very fast. i held off as long as i could but once i started it there was no stopping. now i get paid to surf the net and read blogs about Twilight all day- battling with the guilt of being so out of control with my obsession and the immense happiness it brings to my boring day to day (that sans all things Twitastic would just be...meh....) then i stumble upon this site and the shoulder angels stop with all the nonsense and get engrossed in the story. my mom has had 2 heart to hearts with me in my short 23 years- one was about accepting w/e sexual orientation i might be (sigh- there are no longer any doubts) and the other was for me to promise her that i would not stalk or harm Robert Pattinson in real life (behind the computer screen was acceptable after hours long negotiation).
    until now ive been pretty fashion forward high maintenance jock loving snot, for lack of better word- but that has somehow changed since the breaking of the twymen (which is tattered once again from the delicious moan induced robgasm i've had 689 times today) *ashamed* now its all down play arist loving indie enthusiast... (my friends are convinced ive been body snatched)

    i know this is so long, but its my first post EVER in open forum re the robstewtwibsession- forgive my rambling.

    FanFiction has me terrified... i tried reading something other than a book in the twilight saga and it just irritated me- it took a week of sleepless nights to finish them all- so if this fanfic is as terrific as you all say- which im sure it is- the success of all my other relationships (even the one with the sun and fresh air) are at maximum risk.

    i some how feel better now. first step towards a full blown twitarded existence, first step away from the remnants of sanity i had left...

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