Monday, December 7, 2009

Summit once again raises the bar on complete and utter douchbaggery

[Well, not really. Not yet, anyway but it's only a matter of time so...]

Oh, Summit, how we love your tyrannical ways. We thought it was awesome how you took down our merchandise from Zazzle because it had OUR logo on it. You, dear Summit, are the Machiavelli of the movie industry. Out of 1 to 10 on the Douchebag-of-Epic-Proportions Scale (patent pending, bitches!), you rate in at 16. You must be so proud.

I don't own this, I swear! I'm in no way, shape or form attempting to use this logo as my own! Please don't send me to jail for this, Scummit.

We actually didn't think you could break your record of extreme asshole-ry but it turns out we were wrong. Apparently some woman spent a few days in the slammer for filming a short clip of New Moon. From the article:

The Chicago, Illinois-area woman captured three minutes of the film on her video camera while taping part of her sister's surprise party at a Muvico theater in Rosemont.

Theater managers contacted police, who arrested Tumpach. She spent two days in jail. Now she faces a felony charge of illegally copying a movie.

Okay, okay, maybe this wasn't Summit's doing. Whatev. The nice thing about NOT being a news blog is that I can spout my conspiracy theories until the cows come home. Or the fat lady sings. Or RPattz decides he wants to horizontal tango with me.

Anyway. Now, here's the thing: if this chick was there to videotape the entire film and sell it, then yes, I would say "sucks to be you, you fucking moron. Don't drop the soap in prison."

Just like, for example, the dude who bought an extra ticket for the New Moon premiere fundraiser we attended not too long ago.

First of all, the dude stuck out like a sore thumb mainly because he, um, like, had a penis AND it was obvious he was not there with someone who was in possession of a vagina. He was also acting a little squirrely - you know, fidgeting, doing his Best Bella, fixing the fucking recording device he clearly had nestled in his hood... that sort of thing. To be fair, I really didn't even notice him until STY and Sister Snarky pointed him out and that was just after the cops threatened to cut off anyone's fingers if they were caught with a recording device. Two seconds later, the doors opened and a high pitched keening that could be heard from Mars erupted. Mr. Movie Pirate Guy clutched his ears and went fetal and maybe cried a little and it was totally obvious HE HAD NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT HE HAD GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO.


But this chick? She wasn't like Mr. Movie Pirate Guy. According to the article, she caught the three minutes of film...while videotaping her sister's surprise birthday party.

I was blinded by Jacob's white teeth and mesmerized by his abs... I swear I didn't even know the film was rolling...

Also according to this article:

"The motion picture industry has encouraged theater owners to adopt a 'zero-tolerance' policy prohibiting the video or audio recording of any portion of a movie," Muvico Entertainment, which oversees the theater, told HLN's "Prime News."

Hey, I think piracy is a shitty thing to do, don't get me wrong. But what this chick was doing wasn't piracy. Has Summit gotten involved yet? Nope, not as far as I can tell. However, given their track record of being, um, twatty, I doubt they're going to be all butterflies and daisies about this. In fact I picture it going something like this...

Minion at Scummit - Sir, there's been a report that a woman who was taping her sister's surprise party also capture some images of the film New Moon...

Some VIP douche at Scummit - Let's waterboard the bitch before we execute her. [Rubs hands together in a way that only evil villains can do] By the way, have we threatened to sue any bloggers for making up their own logos that have nothing to do with us today?

Minion - uhh, um, no, sir.

VIP - What am I paying you for?! We own EVERYTHING, remember? Go ruin someone's day before I have YOU arrested for copyright infringement!!!
"Hope you enjoy the mooooooovie!!!"

Now, I know that our opinion of Summit entertainment lingers somewhere along the lines of a pile of stinking shit but I doubt they are going to just let this go. I think that any other studio would just wipe their hands of this and chalk it up to this chick must making an unfortunate mistake. I mean, she already spent TWO nights in jail. For catching two snippets of the movie on her video camera... while taping her sister's party...

Summit? I doubt it. What do you think?

P.S. I HAD to go back and add this killer pic made by Amcas @ Why Not? Twilgiht, RPattz and Me - love it! We bow to your pic-manipulating superiority - thanks!!


  1. Remember when Scummit were cool because they were making our fave books into a movie??
    Yeah. It was so, so long ago it feels like a faded dream :|

    They really do suck donkey balls. Big, hairy ones at that.

    Okay, so she caught slight bits on her phone. Hello? Can I say 2 leaked trailers and fuck loads of pictures from the films? They were deliberate this was a mistake.

    Scummit. Pull it together and show the people you have at least a little bit of heart left. We all know it's black and shrivelled, but there must be one teensey bit that's still alive and good. Right?

  2. Hate to be the first one in here, but...

    Summit=Scummit, fo sho. I hate them because they are taking our lovely romance and making sure the boys want to come too (or at least don't bitch too much about it.) It's all ACTION, and the romance is an afterthought. Bring back CH! But, I digress. Onto your post:

    Who brings a movie camera into a movie theatre under the guise of "filming a party?" Hmmmm. Kinda dumb in my book, and I can see it would look suspicious as hell. I mean, are ya partying, or are ya watching a movie? And isn't that royally boring, to film people watching a movie? No way should she have spent two days in jail, and maybe she was completely innocent, BUT, there are A-holes out there stealing this film (and others) and that's not right. Even on our dear Twitarded Blog posts I've read several entries from folks saying they had bootleg copies. WTF? Who does that? Sheesh!

    OK, I'm done.

  3. "Mr. Movie Pirate Guy clutched his ears and went fetal..." LMFAO How are you so f*ucking hilarious, JJ??

    What the hell Scummit? Does that mean I could have been arrested for taking pics of my fellow twitards at the theater?? Shit, I had no idea. These bastards are going too far... but you know I would have totally tweeted my mugshot!!

  4. I don’t know about Summit. Clearly out to milk every fucking penny that can off the franchise. Even employing Rob in another movie, was a smart move on their part because guess who will see the film? Twifans. Now Summit is taking on another Vampire movie, Dracula (um, I think the story of Vlad).
    Think of Summit as Scrooge.

  5. So twat now? do the turds take down your blog too???

  6. I know---this was fucking crazy. I saw it and felt sick to my stomach.

  7. Scummit was dead to me the minute they fired rachelle! they are teh biggest douches! she was a fookin awesome victoria!

  8. First off, let me just say that I can't believe this didn't happen to me. My bad luck is legendary. Holy over-fucking-reaction, Batman! I read about this a couple of days ago. Why haven't they cut off her hands yet? What are they waiting for? Man, I hope there's a public caning. Maybe they can include video of that in the DVD extras. When I read this story I seriously scrolled back up to the top to see if I was reading The Onion. What kind of third world fuckery is this? That poor woman. After 48 hrs in jail, they would have pulled out my urine & shit covered corpse.

    At my 2nd NM viewing the theater manager patrolled the aisles in 10 minute intervals, armed with a flashlight. Some poor woman made a sudden movement to take her kid to the bathroom & I thought for sure the manager was going to go all Rodney King on her ass.

  9. I think the real problem is that the three minutes she recorded were the three minutes Rob was in the movie. Just sayin'.

    Obviously, they have evidence that can prove her innocence or guilt. But either way, two nights in jail? Really?! Pretty harsh.

    17 Forever

  10. First off......I love picture of the Devil from Legends!

    Maybe Scummit should take on a quest and arrest every single one of us twicrazies that snapped photos in the movie theater to document the monumental occasion! In the immortal words of Natalie Portman on SNL they can "Shut the fuck up and suck my dick!!!"

    Wow...I'm gonna stop typing now b/c I'm apparantly in a very crude mood right now!

  11. I was thinking EXACTLY what @kittycait said about Rachelle.

    You know, we, the fans are the reason that movie went BONKERS at the box office. They should be helpin' a girl out.

    Yeah, I know, I wouldn't have personally had my camera out, but still. COME ON!

  12. @TwiNabler--I usually don't START typing until I'm in a crude mood.

  13. I agree with @kittycait... when they got rid of Rachelle that did it for me. They are just out to suck as much money as they can out of us. What other franchise puts out three or four different version of the same fucking movie all with different extras included. What a pain in the ass!

  14. Gawd. Did they tackle her ass and cuff her in the middle of the theater? She looks like a SOCCER MOM for cryin' out loud! I do know that they told us before New Moon started at the theater in Lubbock, TX that if you so much as pulled your CELL PHONE out of your purse during the movie, you would be asked to leave the theater. Seriously. I went to get a piece of gum when the previews started and I yelled out, "Just getting GUM, PEOPLE...IT'S ONLY GUM!" just to be a smart ass. What the hell? There are dipshits breaking into cars across the lot and the pseudo-movie cop is going to arrest me for whipping out my CELL?

  15. Love Legend, Love that devil.... I totally linked you and added my own experiences.... cuz you are bang-on with this b.s. that is the tyrannical douchbaggery of Scummit

  16. What douchebags. Are they not aware that you can pretty much download New Moon off of any p2p website now?! ... Geez.

  17. well fuck me gently with a chainsaw Scummit! (yes I watched Heathers again today)

  18. HOLY SHIT! Why are all of you being accausted by the theater employees and full-cavity searched? And how do I get in on it? My theater never said a word about anything. It was like any other movie. CRAZY!

    And if Summit really does stoop to this level of douchebaggery, then I'll definitely be pissed. But not too surprised, unfortunately.

    I'm with the ladies who've said that it was all downhill after they fired Rachelle. They totally blew that one. I read a while ago that Bryce Dallas Howard (seriously? Why three names? Pretentious.) actually turned down the role of Victoria when they were casting Twilight. And her team's reason for saying "no" was that she was too famous and the movie was too small. That's pretty f'd up. Jus' sayin.

    @Shiny Volvo Owner - "They really do suck donkey balls. Big, hairy ones at that." LMFAO! That's f'n hilarious and so sounds like something I'd say.

    @mmMoxie - YES! I quoted that not too long ago too. :P Great minds...

    WV: busnesse. "Yes we're on a bus Nessie," Jacob replied.

  19. Just what kind of fuckery is this???? Douche-bags at Scummit can just kiss my ass!! I agree with you guys about Rachelle - she fucking IS Victoria!! Putting a woman who made dumbass mistake in jail is beyond ridiculous. They probably arrested her to keep Scummit off of their asses. Grrrr this pisses me off!

    Okay - shutting myself off now!

  20. Oh, I want to hate Summit - trust me I do. It hurts my heart that this independent film company has gone all gansta and is rolling harder on folks than the major film studios. But they threw shiny in my face by buying yummo Charlie Hunman's screenplay for Vlad the Impaler. Yes, another vampire movie - but the original vampire Mr. Bad Ass Vlad himself. Also, did I mention that Charlie Hunman pwns me.

    So as much as I'm want to rant and argh about Summit and there horribleness - they keep throwing shiny things around. And for the girl with the attention span of a gnat, its hard to keep the angst consistent.

    So throw more things about the horrors of Scummit so folks like me can finally fully see the wretchedness.

  21. I haven't read all your posts, cos I'm too lazy (and maybe a little intoxicated)...but...comon' she recorded parts of a film that is not on DVD's illegal...maybe punishment doesn't fit the crime...but it's illegal??

  22. I guess this all took place in a theater that actually serves meals or something.

    Now she says that she was filming her sister opening her question is if the film had already started the theater would be pretty much dark and they should be watching the film not opening presents. If someone next to me was tearing wrapping paper and someone else was filming them doing so while the movie was playing they would have been arresting me for taking down the bunch of them!

    Secondly, if it was an honest mistake then why didn't she just erase the footage while the cops and the theater manager were standing there?

    I would agree that Summit might be a little heavy handed here on her but that is their right. I don't know about this theater but at the one I see the movie in they give you about 3 warnings before the lights go down to turn off ALL devices. I don't remember anything saying something like "except if you are recording your sister opening presents - if that's the case go ahead".

    Something is smelling here but I don't really think it is Summit. I wish they would say what part of the film was recorded...that might help.

    Remember that it was the leaking of Midnight Sun onto the internet that is now causing us all to not have another finished novel in this series.

    Unauthorized footage on the internet can be just as damaging or at least spoiling!

  23. I do think Summit really went overboard with the whole Rachelle thing, too. It's hugely disappointing she won't be in Eclipse.

    I fully understand that what she did, no matter how short a time period was illegal. I'm not disputing that. I just think tossing her ass in the pokey for a few days, let alone a few years, seems a little harsh.

  24. Am I going to get in trouble because I've saved my NM ticket stubs?

  25. OK another late chime-in here. JJ is busting my ass over on FB ;-)

    My husband actually sent this article to me about this woman. I could not believe how absurd the whole thing was. They should be more concerned with the people like me that were freely passing flasks of whiskey around and sticking poor innocent action figures in their cleavage for photo ops. I guess Seattle is pretty liberal. ;-)

  26. Yeah, agreed. Shooting some cheesy cell-phone movie is illegal but there are plenty of d-bags in this world doing far worse and getting off without jail time. **Cough...Eliot Spitzer...Cough**. Sorry, I always say a random former politicians name when I cough.

    V/W: Ancitur: I thought I wasnt going to crap myself but it turns out I had a case of the ancitur....ahhhhhhh.

  27. F Summit. All my movies are bootlegged hand held camcordered. It's not that I can't wait for Bluray, it's just that I prefer them to be all dirty and jiggly, preferably with people in the theater talking back to the screen.

    To be fair, I do buy the disk when they officially come out and make mobiles out of them so that I can has something to play with while I wait for my meds to kick in.

    I love you, RPATTZ!!!!

  28. I read that article about that women spending a few nights in the slammer because of her "filming" NM and I wasn't all that surprised that she got hit with that as I remember the manager walking into the theater where we were and threatening our very existence if anyone took pix or video. My friend and I turned to each other and said "Mean!" while he was still standing there so frankly, I feel very blessed that I didn't get kicked out.

  29. new moon movie of twilight saga charmed me much ! its great watching twilight new moon !!

  30. you are so right

    and i want to see legend now again

  31. Hey I just saw on Twilight Source that Chris Weitz was asked about the situation and he felt it was wrong to make an example of a woman who obviously wasn't out to break the law. He said he was going to appeal to Summit to let it go but wasn't optimistic because he obviously doesn't own the movie. Go Chris Weitz Boo Scummit!

  32. I read that article about that women spending a few nights in the slammer because of her "filming" NM and I wasn't all that surprised that she got hit with that as I remember the manager walking into the theater where we were and threatening our very existence if anyone took pix or video. My friend and I turned to each other and said "Mean!" while he was still standing there so frankly, I feel very blessed that I didn't get kicked out.

  33. Yeah, agreed. Shooting some cheesy cell-phone movie is illegal but there are plenty of d-bags in this world doing far worse and getting off without jail time. **Cough...Eliot Spitzer...Cough**. Sorry, I always say a random former politicians name when I cough.

    V/W: Ancitur: I thought I wasnt going to crap myself but it turns out I had a case of the ancitur....ahhhhhhh.


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