While most of you have been swept up in the Robapalooza frenzy of Remember Me, my mind has decided it was going to fuck with me at a most inopportune time by making random thoughts pop up while I'm trying to drink in all the luscious pictures of RPattz that are out there.
Oh mah gahd. He is SO hot, I can't believe how fuck... I wonder if I could set this glass of wine on fire... wha? shut up, brain, I'm trying to eyefuck RPattz!!!
Now, I know most of you have these kind of fluky ruminations every once in awhile but there I was, attempting to drool over a picture of Robert Pattinson when all of a sudden I was thinking, "I wonder if most people arrange their recycling garbage so the booze containers are hidden at the bottom so the neighbors don't judge," or, "Which coworker is responsible for the ridiculously long pubic hairs I find in the bathroom from time to time? Doesn't she know 70's bush is waaaay out of style?"
So yeah, I was having difficulty focusing last night. Normally I would run these musings past ML but he's on a business trip so I was left all alone with my brain spinning like a fucking coked up hamster on a wheel.
At one point I was lying in bed with my new Macbook, waiting for some psycho killer to break in, hack my body to bits and defile my corpse when something else came to mind.
What the hell was the last book I read that wasn't Twilight related?
I pondered this with only a slight amount of alarm before I finally gave up and headed downstairs to check out my bookcases. That's right, multiple. Like most of you, there was a time in my life when I read books that did not involve sparkly brooding teenage vampires with questionable control issues.
As I sat there, perusing my shelves, another brilliant thought came to mind (and it was probably only pure genius because I was half-asleep and had to get up in five hours): maybe you guys are in the same boat. Maybe you need a little sumpthin' sumpthin' to shake up your Twi-routine.
Because SnarkierThanYou and I love to share goodies with you guys, I figured maybe it was time to do another recommendation post. Unlike the last one I did, this one won't contain too much smut..
Hey! Get back here! Okay, okay, there will be smut!
The first one on my list is actually one that I recommended back in the infancy of Twitarded, when it was me, STY and a few other folks who stumbled onto the blog (some who even decided to stay! Yay!) and I'm bringing this up again because Kelley Armstrong is a really, really kick-ass author and it's kind-of-sort-of Twi-lated, if only because it involves vampires and the like.
She writes a series called Women of the Otherworld and you will not be disappointed if you check this out. There are hot (and potentially dangerous) dudes who are werewolves, demons, vampires, sorcerers, etc. Her female characters are strong but also incredibly realistic. As an added bonus there is even sex! It's not gratuitous lemons (okay, I really did lie about the smut) but it's still fuck-awesome.
Now that I've eased you into this clusterfuck of a post, I'll move on to my next literary endorsement - Severance Package by Duane Swierczynski. This guy is an amazing author. I found this little beast in a small bookstore in Portsmouth, New Hampshire and the only reason I bought it was because the hand written recommendation next to it said something along the lines of, "If you want three hours of murder and mayhem this is the book for you."
Between you and me, I'm a HUGE fan of mayhem, fictional or otherwise. You've been warned, all of you who are going to Foooooorks.
That rec was spot-on, bitches. The tagline on the front of the book reads, "Ever want to kill your boss? Well guess what, THE FEELING IS MUTUAL." The writing is unabashed and unashamed as the author weaves a tale of an office grunt worker who must outsmart his coworkers to stay alive. It's a quick read that keeps you turning the pages in anticipation for more.
Not in the mood for crimespree fuckery? Fear not! I have one last book for you.
My third and final book I encourage you to check out is Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. His writing style, quick wit and insane sense of humor puts anything I could ever write to shame. This was the first book that I ever read where I was literally screaming with laughter and
Not convinced? Watch this.
So, there you have it. I hope that, when your Twilight book has disintegrated in your hands from multiple readings and your S/O has finally put his/her foot down on getting your eleventh copy that you check out the books I've suggested above.
And on that note, I'm finally going to watch Robert Pattinson