Sunday, July 26, 2009
Bite Me, Two-Column Blog... Twitarded Goes Three-Column!
When we started this blog back in January, we didn't have many bells & whistles. And honestly, we still don't have a ton of widgets and graphics and gifs. For the sake of full disclosure, we don't even really know what a gif is, but suffice it to say that we're not going to send your computer into cardiac arrest when you come to our page. But even keeping things reasonably low-key, we've been running out of room on the right side of the page and the open space on the left side (which you can't utilize in Blogger's default two-column format) had steadily progressed on the tantalize-0-meter to the point where it hit "Bella's blood that day in science class" epic proportions.
Sadly, we couldn't figure this three-column thing out. True to Twitarded form, we apparently had some sort of wonkiness in our format or htlm coding that had even our most tech-savvy friends throwing up their hands in despair and declaring that we were shit out of luck. "Can't be done!" they proclaimed when we told them we desperately needed more space to tack up the latest Twilight & Robward news, helpful widgets, and an assortment of other stuff we like and think you guys might enjoy.
JJ - who is by far the more technically proficient of the two of us (which is still pretty low on the tech meter, sadly) - took several stabs at it, but the sum of her valiant efforts amounted to nothing more than many futilely squandered hours, a popped blood vessel or two, and a post that will never see the light of day entitled "I FUCKING HATE BLOGGER."
Thankfully, we've got some fantastic bloggy buddies who are always more than willing to selflessly lend a hand when we find ourselves waaaaaay out of our techno-league.
Enter Latchkey Wife of Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife fame & notoriety. She didn't know what a three-column blog was initially but was clearly more adept at resolving technical problems then we are here at Twitarded. I lamented that it had been the bane of our bloggy existence (one of several, actually) and we were at a complete loss. Lo and behold, not more than a few hours had passed before Latchkey reported back in that she was now the proud owner of a three-column blog [what. the. fuck. SO. unfair.], and she was kind enough to pass along the info she had used to make the transition.
Now, don't get me wrong: JJ had worked herself up into a lather on several occasions following similar instructions with no success, but she was determined and willing to give it another shot. If any of you were getting your Twitarded fix a few hours back and suddenly the blog went absolutely haywire (it was ugly for a moment there, believe us!), well, all I can say is that you'll inevitably have a period of trial and error when you are trying something new and there were definitely a couple of moments today where "error" had the upper hand.
After tweaking a few things, however, JJ was able to bring you the wonderfulness that is our brand-spanking-new three-column layout. I could have kissed her!!! And not only because people say she looks like Robert Pattinson - it was almost entirely because she knows how to make stuff GO. And who doesn't need a bff like that?!
So thanks to JJ and extra-special thanks to Latchkey Wife who we may or may not have been promised unspeakable, scandalous favors in return for her techy support! I'll put JJ on the next shuttle to your neck of the woods - just promise to send her back relatively unscathed at some point, OK? I need her.
P.S. In a rare instance of JJ and I not agreeing 100% on something bloggy-related (or otherwise, for that matter - we really are morphing into one being, but more on that topic some other time), there has been some debate recently regarding Twitarded's layout/look. How do YOU like the black background with white text? Is is awesome? Do you think it's the greatest thing since Twilight, RPatts and his sex-hair, and TwiPorn came into your life or does it leave you dizzy and feeling like your retinas have been scorched like they haven't been scorched since we posted about the anatomically correct one-of-a-kind "Renesmee and Jacob On Their Wedding Day" dolls we found on eBay several months back? Like we've said in the past, Twitarded's not a democracy and we're not promising a "majority rules" outcome to this, but we'd genuinely like to hear your feedback so we can decide if we need to make some changes.
Sorry to include you in our relatively boring bloggy operations, but we're kinda all family here (a big, dirty, scandalous family), and we like to keep you up to speed on what we're up to. Just remember that we have the right to pull the "Because I said so!" card and do what we want when it's all said and done.
I promise some random funniness tomorrow! Because Monday sucks and not in the good vampy kinda way, either.