Originally I had some kind of witty little prologue/beginning/what-have-you to this post but fuck it. Let's just cut to the chase. I will admit that maybe I'm doing this because I have something to say that some of you might not like and I figure if I confess this quickly enough you won't put a bounty on my head. I call it the Band-Aid Theory. You know, rip that bitch off quick and it doesn't hurt as much. Er, something like that. Fuck, this is taking longer than I wanted.
Anyway. Here it is...
I was wrong about something. Shocking! I know!
I used to think Robert Pattinson was a terrible musician.
There. I said it. Hello? Helloooooo? Where did everyone go? Did Snarkier Than You's biggest fear that I will drive all of our readers away just come true? [note from STY: "I fucking knew it!!! You testicle wanker! Snot munch! 'Gina chunk!!!" this rant brought to you by "Creative Cursing"]
And my confession gets worse. I condemned poor, sexy, sultry RPattz's music after listening to only one song, that song being Never Think from the Twilight soundtrack. That's right, RPattz was written off my 'good musician' list after just one song [this has not stopped me from lusting after him like a fucking hound to a steak, just for the record]. Hey, I don't call myself Jerkface because I'm reasonable, ya know?
One of my first posts was a rant about the Twilight soundtrack and I expressed my views on his music there:
Rob Pattinson - Is this song gonna do something? Let's put it this way, if RPatt was strumming this song on a subway platform I might give him a quarter. But probably not.Rob - Listen, you did an acceptable job as Edward. And you're good looking, even though I feel kind of dirty admitting that since I'm, oh, ten years older than you, give or take a few years. But with age comes wisdom and I'd like to impart some on you - focus on one career or the other because you're not good enough at acting or singing to do both.
Yup. I'm a jerk. A big flaming pile of poo. Oh well. I yam what I yam.
When I draw a conclusion about someone or something I am like judge, jury and executioner all wrapped up in one and if you're condemned, you're fucking straight up screwed. There is no mistrial or parole hearing. If I think you suck, you suck and that's that.
Until today, that is.
I was sitting in my dreadful little cube at work, drudging away at spreadsheets and budgets and idly listening to my iPod when Robert Pattinson's Never Think song comes on. Out of habit, I reach over to skip it but... something stops me. I keep listening.
And holy shit, I like it. It's so haunting and sad and lovely all at the same time. It's so emotional and raw that I actually start to feel sappy and that's definitely NOT me. I don't do sappy.
I shoot STY an email:
From: Jenny Jerkface
Dude, just listened to RPattz song. I think it's really good. Crap.
I hate when I prove myself wrong. It's like punching myself in the tit. Sucks.
Naturally, when I finally shuffle up to Planet Earth every once in awhile and discover something a gazillion years after you all have, I feel the urge to share. Just in case there is some other Twitard out there, wandering lost and alone, without the haunting melodies of Robert Pattinson.
This just makes me want to hump his leg even more, by the way. A lot more. I don't think he's human anymore - I keep waiting for John Connor to show up at my doorstep and tell me he has a message from me. From the future.