Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Exclusive Interview! RPattz Discusses Twitarded... er, Sort of.

I know! We were totally stoked when we found out that RPattz was flappin' his lips about us! And he didn't mention "restraining order" or "fucking batshit crazy" - not once!

The next thing you know, STY and I will be knocking back some cold Heinekens and sharing Hot Pockets and M&Ms with RPattz and KStew. Well, maybe not KStew because that bitch is skinny so I'm pretty sure she actually eats healthy food, unlike me. Oh wait: she's got a nineteen-year-olds metabolism. Anyway...

Woo hoooo! Twitarded is movin' on up in the world!

Riiiiight.

You know that saying "birds of a feather flock together"? Well, it's true. The following video was made by a friend of mine for my birthday. Oh, and it came in this envelope:


Hope you enjoy! This was made by someone who is probably totally baffled by my obsession but thinks it's funny anyway, and I nearly fucking died when I got to the end of the video. Feel free to shamelessly shit on it if you don't enjoy - just know the creator will be reading the comments. And "Angry" is a good mood for him. Just sayin'.



P.S. - If this fucking thing goes viral and we hit another shit storm of people who lack a sense of humor, I'm going to track down each and every person who leaves a snide comment elsewhere and leave an upper decker in their toilet.

P.P.S. The irony of the fact that the person who made this video inadvertantly chose the interview where the undies would have been whipped out had we been willing to part with them is SO not lost on me.

125 comments:

  1. OH WOW!!! That was fucking hilarious!!! Kudos to the creator!!! And happy be-lated birthday JJ!! Thanks for whoring out your video for us to see!!

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  2. OMFG! genius. i just died laughing.

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  3. Fuck that was funny! Thanks for posting it :)

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  4. That was awesome! I think the last part was the most funniest part. Not that would be funny when you two are doin the spider monkey dance. Just make sure he "changes" so you don't die. LOL
    Hats off to your friend!!

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  5. I just died laughing...so awesome!

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  6. That has to be the funniest thing I've seen in such a long time. My husband thinks I'm having a twi-attack right now. Seriously that is genius!

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  7. Fuckawesome! Perfecto! ahhhh. genius.

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  8. Fucking awesome!!! I love it - going to watch that sucker again and again.

    I'm lame - Happy Belated Birthday! Happy Early Birthday! Happy Birthday!!!

    Fucking Awesome!!!

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  9. Happy Birthday JJ!!! What a great present - the homemade kind is always the best.

    v/w: yerspe, as in, yerspecial!

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  10. HAHAHA! Perfect!! I loved the ending!

    Happy Birthday Lady!!!!

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  11. lmfao...this is excellent...totally laugh like a tard.

    happy bday :D

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  12. Fucking hilarious!!!! I actually get into it...like he's really talking about you...and then I had to snap out of it!

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  13. Loved it! Yes, the ending was pretty cool and I hope you got all warm and tingly in all the right places when he talked about having sex with you (kinda sorta)!!! Your friend is da bomb :)

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  14. OMG, of course I'm in class and don't have my headphones!! I can't wait to see this video!

    Happy Belated Bday JJ!!!!

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  15. oooooohhh my GOD that was the best thing ever!! ive got tears in my eyes from laughter

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  16. Just when I think I can't laugh any harder at a Twitarded post. Fucking brilliant! Happy belated birthday, JJ!

    Lisa

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  17. OMG - hilarious fuckery! HAHAHAHAHAHA

    How I envy people who can do these kinds of things. I wish I had some (any)technical abilities. Right now my TV is stuck on Spanish captions and I have no idea why, or how to get rid of it.

    I am a Techtard.

    Thank you for creating this video, JJ's friend and Happy Birthday JJ.

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  18. that is amazing! i loved the end of the video i literally lol'd outloud!!! Happy belated birthday!!!

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  20. Best fucking birthday gift ever!

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  21. This has made my incredibly looong working day! Thank you!

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  22. Bloody brilliant!

    lol @ upper decker!

    you gals rock!

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  23. Happy belated Birthday. The video was very funny!!

    I thought about you earlier today in a random way. You were at the auction with Kellen and Peter and you didnt have "The" panties on your head. That would have been priceless and 1st hand embarrassing

    So for some reason that thought popped into my head while I was at the office.

    You tow affect me when when Im not online.

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  24. This just made my night!! We are all mad-jealous of your epic birthday gift JJ! Happy Belated Birthday :)

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  25. Fucking BRILLIANT!! BRILLIANT!! Happy Birthday JJ!!!

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  26. Because I'm an asshole, I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

    W/V---nosity...the opposite of generosity

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  27. hilarious, I don't think I'll ever get over the need to laugh at the term "whisker biscuit!"

    Happy Birthday!!!

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  28. LOL, that was so great! I wish I had friends like yours. Can I put in an order for a sex tape with me and Rob? Thanks.

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  29. PMSL! Fantastic, that was a great gift!

    Belated Happy Birthday JJ xx

    V/W - dirds, a shortened form of the phrase 'dirty birds'. It's what us Twitards all are ;o)

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  30. haha this is great. i was cracking up all the way through.

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  31. Sooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just know Rob would laugh his ass off if he saw it.

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  32. This was an absolutely freaking brilliant way to end an incredibly stressful day. Thank you for sharing and your friend(s) fucking rock! Isn't it grand when our friends, even if they don't totally get it, can join in the fun and play along? Now that is a good buddy.

    Happy Birthday! Busts out and bottoms up!

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  33. What an awesome present!!!

    HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY JJ!!!!

    Now if only RPattz could be hired as a strip-o-gram! Imagine that knocking on your door.... Hmmmm....

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  34. Oh,you have such clever,clever friends. Thanks for sharing the entertainment, and happy belated! I really felt like he was talking to you - and I got all 2nd hand excited over it! :D lol

    W/V: contai....aw contai just keep him for one night?!

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  35. um hello, ok this is nothing to do with the video, I just wanted to mention Rob's pants in New Moon when he takes his shirt off and we all go SQUUEEEEEE really loud, you know that shot where his pants are hanging unfeasibly low on his hips......yeah that's the one, now you have that mental picture. I was idly wondering at work, just now actually whether or not Rob is an underwear guy or whether he goes commando. I mean I personally can't picture him in tighty whities, well I can if I think really hard. Hehe "really hard" now I'm on another plane lol oh my, really hard Rob going commando.....I'm really gonna be good for nothing all day now, just a squidgy mess on the floor.
    So Rob boxers, briefs or nothing-how do you see Rob? For me its nothing everytime.....

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  36. @nibbleit-oh yeah, shirtless Rob with his gravity defying pants definitely floors me. Takes my mind a wandering to places I have no business going. And I like it!!

    Fkat

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  37. lol@F-Kat-so boxers, briefs or nowt at all? :0)

    Word verif-brouncu- I wanna brouncu on my knee Rob

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  38. snorting out loud in the office. brilliant.

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  39. That was totally effing hilarious! I too am certain that if a certain that if a person whos name might rhyme with mobert atkinson was to see this he'd be laughing his cute little ass off too!

    The panties were so great and I am proud to follow a blog that had the balls to say NO!

    "Whisker Biscut" brilliant!

    Happy Belated Birthday girl!

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  40. Oh my goodness, could I have messed that up any more.....please forgive my inability to formulate sentences of the english language after hearing Rpattz talk about amazing sex!

    vw skinsix seriously

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  41. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! You lucky bitch - he said he wants to have sex with you! See birthday wishes do come true.

    Happy Birthday dahling! Have a fantabulous day!

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  42. Had to leave one more sorry.....ok...the girls over at Robsessed posted an Ellen show red carpet interview thing and they gave Kellan a pair of Ellen underwear. The girl was like "I'm going to give you something every actor in hollywood needs...Ellen underwear."

    Kellan responds..."Do they have Robert Pattinson's face on them?" before she hands them to him.

    You all have to go watch. I'm still freakin out!

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  43. @TwiNabler - OMG!! Hilarious!! Thank you for letting us know about the clip. I can't believe Kellan asked if Rob's face was on the underware!!!! HILARIOUS!!!

    Here's the link:

    http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/2009/11/ellen-show-at-new-moon-red-carpet.html

    w/v - chilli .... oh Rob, it's so chilli over here. Come on over and let's warm each other up!

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  44. I just spewed my morning coffee rith out my nose! This was AWESOME!!! Jenny, you've got some great friends.

    Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but since we have the same name? I'm totally pretending that interview was about me.

    Happy Belated Birthday, Snatch! ;)

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  45. That was FORKIN hilarious! Thanx for sharing. I must now admit to following yet another Twi-blog & send my girls to check this out. Now they will not only know that I'm totally Twitarded, but a skanky bitch too! Oh well, you guys are totally worth it.

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  46. Can't comment, still laughing my head off. Now THAT's a birthday present!!! ;)

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  47. Off topic: Twilight abuse! I finally loaned my copy of Twilight to my 10 year-old daughter with instructions that she had to protect it all costs, and it was not to go to school where it would be mauled in her backpack, or drooled on by a herd of 5th graders. This morning, the unthinkable happened. Somehow one of her glass shakie balls broke and peed all over my book! Dammit! She was very upset and apologetic. I didn't bat an eye, told her it was okay, gave her a hug and we cleaned up the mess together. We Team Edward girls need to stick together. I'm hoping Santa will give me a new copy for Christmas, or better yet, Rob for Christmas wearing nothing but a stocking, ahem.

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  48. @Z Any Mouse - You're too funny! Not sure which copy you had, but if it's wasn't the Border's exclusive edition, I highly recommend it. It has all of the special features and then some.

    Lisa

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  49. Hahahahahahaha! Fantastic! You got yourself an awesome friend there, JJ.

    P.S. It was interesting to hear the pronunciation of "Twitarded" as, for some weird reason, I had been pronouncing it differently in my head.

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  50. I found your blog mentioned on a Washington Post article...can't wait to read more over the holiday weekend. Finally a place for me to be as crazy for Twilight as I want to be! Thanks!

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  51. @nibbleit--um, I'm gonna say "none at all" in the movie scene and boxer-briefs if at all otherwise. There was an interview last year or early this year where he talks about buying underwear because he forgot to pack some. Then there's this very recent British inverview where he's asked "jammies or birthday suit" and he answers so fast it doesn't seem like he had time to think about the answer. He said, "birthday suit, obviously" . Then again with his sense of humor it's hard to tell when he's kidding. Jeez I'm a grown woman thinking far too much about this! (I sent you an email to the account listed on your profile)

    PS- I saw that Kellan interview, so I'm sure of two things. 1) that he's seen the Pattinson P#nties and 2) that he's teased Rob about them. Lol. I'm so glad you girls kept the mystery alive by refusing to shove these in his face.

    Fkat

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  52. That was awesome! So clever! Great job!!!

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  53. If you haven't seen the British interview that F-Cat mentioned above (*waves* Hi F-Cat!)about Rob sleeping in his birthay suit,then you have to go watch it on youtube cause it's hysterical. Rob and Taylor answer questions as each other. It's called The 5:19 Show.

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  54. @Twilove1- So whaddaya think? Typical Brit sense of humor or did he actually just give us permission to picture him lying under the sheets in the nuuuuuuuude. Yeah yeah, it's not as if anyone around here was waitin for his permission. :D {waves back}

    Fkat

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  55. Happy Birthday! This video is awesome. I hope you managed to avoid the fat bologna smelling man.

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  56. @F-Kat-I'm so bloody daft at times, I think I have deleted your mail, I was checking them on my mobile and I delete stuff without realising-Doh!!!!! Can you mail me again puleeeeeeeassseeeee.

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  57. F-Kat, I'm pretty sure he'd be serious, not sure many men over here go for PJs, what do you think nibbleit? Nice mental image too *sigh*

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  58. @Sprtzmom1721 - It was a cheap paperback copy. I might have to put a bug in someone's ear about that special edition from Borders. Are you hearing me baby girl?! It sounds great :)

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  59. Bloody fucking marvelous! Happy Birthday and thanks for sharing!! I laughed my ass off (if only I could!) which is okay since I telecommute.

    v/w: serappl: yes, Rob, I would be sreappl if you would appear naked on my doorstep.

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  60. @Stan-absolutely no PJ's, the mental images are forming, hehe, me, Rob, no pj's, a large er bed, a few silk scarves ( I have one of those metal framed, twirly kinda gothic beds that just lend themselves to tieing up LOL)a blindfold, some body oil...deep breath girl, hold it together, you can do it. Where were pj's? Oh yeah totally fucking redundant Stan, I mean totally haha!!

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  61. Thanks for all the b-day love!! And glad you liked the video.

    I wish I had the tech-y chops to do something like this but if I did, I probably would spend all my time creating videos in which RPattz and I find ourselves in very sexy, intimate situations so I guess that's a good thing.

    And now I can't stop thinking about RPattz going commando. Or wearing nothing but PJ bottoms.

    Or nothing at all. And preferably lounging in my bed...

    {shakes head} okay, back to work... sigh.

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  62. @Nebilet - I've put in my order for a sex tape with Rob. Can you bring the props? Thanks.

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  63. No prob Nibbleit, i just tried to resend. If you don't get it you can email me at twifixx@yahoo.com

    Fkat

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  64. @ Z Any Mouse- ok ok I'll bring props, oh my have I got props pmsl, but we gotta take it in turns. I'd say me forst i don't want sloppy seconds but fuck it, its Rob, just hose him down and do it again, yeah baby yeah....er have i gone too far again (hangs head) its very difficult to stop when I'm on a rob roll. Hur hur I said Rob roll, better than a sub anyday, make my Rob roll to go

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  65. @Nebilet - Hose him down, he looks great wet! I'll take a Rob roll too.

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  66. @Z Any Mouse-Yeah I'd do a wet Rob, my god can you imagine if he reads this, I bet he'd blush his little sox off, haha, anyway Rob if you're reading I totally mean it, pop round for tea and biscuits I wouldn't tie you up and extract bodily fluids from places or hose you down except to revive you of course (smiles innocently)


    Where you at Z?

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  67. @F-Kat- I emailed you, well I hope I did otherwise someone is gonna be totally shocked LOL

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  68. I'm going to feed my fantasy a little more and say that Rob was being 100% honest in that interview about what he wears to bed. I think I may need to go check out those Vanity Fair pics one more time... Sigh.

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  69. Oh. My. God. I can't believe how hard you bitches make me laugh! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! (and btw, I totally vote Commando. And those pants hangin' way down low....priceless. Ahhhhh.....!!)

    Gimme some of that Scruffward for christmas, pluueeezz Santa! Not that I've been a good girl or anything.....

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  70. OMG!!! I just started readin ur blog today! I feckin love it! how bloody refreshing! YAY :) It's nice to read a blog made by over 30's (as am i) :) xx

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  71. Brilliant, and Happy Birthday!!

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  72. @ Dear Robert Pattinson, is that another Brit Twitard I detect? ;o)

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  73. @ Stan, it is indeed :) and urself i'm guessing?

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  74. @ Dear Robert Pattinson, yep, too bloody right. It was the 'bloody' in your comment that gave it away lol!

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  75. @ Stan, oh yea! ha ha, i never really thought about that! so normal innit! lol gotta say this blog is so funny! And i feel twitarded, so all is good!

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  76. @ DRP (shortening already!) yep, it was a big relief to find this place, it's my spiritual home, I actually feel quite normal here, a stark contrast to real life, where apparently not everybody feels the need to mention Twilight or Rob in every conversation *tut*

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  77. @ stan, yer know how u feel, luckily tho I know a fellow twinutter who i see daily and we speak non stop about twiland and rob lol :) but this site is a lovely find!

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  78. @ DRP, lol @ 'twinutter'! Lucky indeed to have one locally! What part of the UK are you in?

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  79. that is quite possibly the most hilarious video i have ever seen!!

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  80. @Dear Robert Pattinson - Welcome! I see you've already met some of the lovely bitches on this blog. I suspect you'll find yourself right at home. :)

    Oh, and just so all you British folk know - I now use "bloody" when speaking. Do you know how fucking weird that sounds coming from someone with a Jersey accent? "Yah, shore I'm just gonna take the bloody dawg out for a wawk." I blame all of you.

    @Stan - Totally fucking cracked up that you already shortened DRP's name.

    I heart all of you.

    Annnnd I'm off to hunt down some whiskey. Just another benefit of being a "older" Twi-fan. I can drink. Legally. :)

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  81. @stan I am in the south West 9actually Wales) and urself?

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  82. @ JJ, ROFL at you using bloody! Your next challenge is to get 'bollocks' and 'bugger' into a conversation. TwiWeasel tried this and failed, muahahaaa!

    BTW, just cos it's legal to drink whiskey at *quick calculation* 5.45pm? Doesn't mean it's necessarily a good idea to do so ;o)

    @ DRP, up in Lancashire, where the men also sound nothing like Rob!

    Mr Stan just woke up from over 2hrs sleep on the sofa and moaned at me spending my time on the computer. At least I'm fricking well awake. Tosser. And breathe...

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  83. @Stan - Hey, you gotta start sometime, ya know? ;) Actually, tonight is my b-day celebration so I figured I'd start a little early. And I'm imagining this is not a wise choice on my part but... oh well. :P

    I can't even say the word bollocks without sounding like I have marbles in my mouth. Seriously, my accent and bollocks just don't mix. Actually, my accent pretty much butchers most words, now that I think of it... ;)

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  84. @ JJ - Aah well, in that case have a couple for me too :o). PMSL at the marbles in mouth comment too!

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  85. @stan, yer the accent sure don't sound like Rob there but then neither does the Welsh one! ha ha

    @ JJ - thanks! sure I will fit in lol, funny u use bloody, heard an american usin that b4 and it was so funny :)

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  86. @ DRP, I'm from Warwickshire originally so don't have the Lancs accent. For entertainment I get Mr Stan to say 'Fairly Furry Fairy' because it comes out 'Furly Furry Furry' and makes me lol, hehe!

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  87. @Stan, well i'm from the south and don't have an accent, not actually from Wales! :) woooo

    Furly furry furry lol!!!

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  88. Shit! Been away for a few days and look what I miss! Hard Rob going commando, Rob rolls.... think i need to lie down ...sigh...

    Awesome vid, could listen to him say 'amazing sex' again and again ......

    @DRP Yay more brits, and from the South West too!!

    @Nibbleit You have got such a filthy mouth lol! Your posts make me laugh so much, I need to do more pelvic floors!!

    Having finally seen New Moon I can now fully appreciate the low hung trouser scene, mmmmm.... think i may have whimpered out loud in the cinema, much to the amusement of teen bitches behind!!

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  89. @DRP About the only ones in the whole place (it was a monday night and not busy) and they had to fucking sit behind me!!

    wf holve - wouldn't mind Rob delving into my holve!

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  90. FUCK ME 7-ways-to-Sunday, that is the funniest fucking thing I have EVER seen!

    Damnit, you girls made me piss and ruin a perfectly good and brand new microfiber bar stool!

    Holy hell when he said "I know what it would be like to have sex with you...and it would be so amazing I would kill you"....I've never wanted to die so much....in my life.

    Mama Cougar

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  91. Huahahaha! Your friend is awesome! I laughed my brains out! Hehhahahaha!

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  92. JJ, Happy birthday girl!! That video was HILARIOUS, start to finish. Maybe especially at the finish... huge props to your friend!

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  93. Happy Birthday, JJ.

    And welcome to DRP. Love your accent!

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  94. OH, HAHAHAHA!!!!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY JJ!!!

    THAT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!! :)

    YOU TWO ARE FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!


    **AWESOMENESS**

    AND DON'T WE ALL WANT A PIECE OF RPATTZ

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  95. I feel like I'm waaaay behind but had to say happy birthday and I'm so jealous. Mine was last week and I got a long-coveted Mini-E just in time for the premiere... yay!! After 5 minutes of looking at him my 7-yr-old broke his f*ing arm off! I almost cried, seriously, I've wanted one so bad. And now that he's in pieces I have to keep him carefully away from any flame, cuz you KNOW how to kill a vampire!

    Hopefully, Summit or Access Hollywood doesn't pull your birthday video for sense of humor infringement and you feel my level of pain. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JJ!

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  96. Honestly I go to bed early for once and look what I miss!!!
    @JJ when I was on my hols in Florida I was constantly asked to say bloody, bugger, bollocks, fucking hell, cheers and various other words. They pronounced bollocks as ball ocks which cracked me up. I had a bollocks pronunciation day at clearwater beach. H-I larious. Never have I had so many bollocks leave my mouth (hur hur) talking of bollocks I had my first Rob/Edward fanfic dream last night, normally I day dream but this, well this was monumental hehe. He has very nice bollocks too in this dream. Blimey where do I go from here. I mean me and Z Any Mouse have had him tied up, hosed down and now I've got a mouthful of bollocks! Its only 10.15 am here, I'm at work typing bollocks on an NHS computer, haha.
    Wonder if Rob needs any first aid. I'm experienced in CPR as well as all other ways of resuscitation (raises eyebrow suggestively and waggles it)
    Ah the daydreams are taking flight...that's it Rob, yes I do need to tie your hands above your head to the desk with those bandages. No, no this is a new version of mouth to mouth....oooo I'm talking ball ocks again hehe

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  97. @ Nibbleit (Never has your name seemed so apt ;o) ) *shakes head in despair*

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  98. @Stan-What? What? hehe I can't help myself I start talking Rob and bollocks just roll off my lips. I just mailed Z Any Mouse, we're still discussing the pants situation of Rob....I know, I know, the pants discussion is becoming rather lengthy....and so we get to the crutch I mean crux of the matter. No longer am I satisfied with discussing the underwear of the Rob God, I'm now waiting and hoping for a Paris Hilton type tape so I can start discussing the contents of the aforesaid Rob Gods pants. I no longer want to ponder the pants I want to see the contents of the pants.

    I'm getting worse aren't I. I need help; vodka anyone?!

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  99. @suzspetals - OMG, when I first read your post I thought you said your 7 yr old broke his arm and you were crying because you had just gotten your Mini-E. I was/am totally sympathetic. Damn those lil rugrats. :)
    (can you tell I don't have kids?! - but, trust me, I'll be a good mommy ....... some day.) Happy belated bday to you as well!

    @Nibbs - ball ocks/your whole post just made my whole night. Buwhahhwhahhahha. So efffing funny. I wish I had an accent so I could pull off could words like bollocks and bloody and bugger. ------> question: would you use bollocks in place of "shit" / bloody in place of "fuck" and bugger in place of "piss (piss off/bugger off?!) I'd really like to incorporate this into my daily lingo. Please advise. (so weird using "please advise" when asking for cussing advise. HALP!!! might be more appropriate. Hopefully ya'll are familiar with lolcats.)

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  100. @Amy-go to the top of the class, well done, now try work all 3 into a sentence; as in bugger me, have you seen those bloody VF outtake 4 pics of Rob. They really are worth me taking a bollocking from the boss for wasting NHS resources to stare at him!!

    Love LOL cats btw, have bought my son the books cos he is crazy on them.

    Shock-I've been distracted from Rob for 5 seconds. Must go look at my annual and VF mag for a while, maybe in the toilet or somewhere private.....ahem

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  101. @suzspetals - Welcome back! Sorry we got a good laugh at your expense, though. Poor Mini-E!

    @nibbleit - You crack me up. I have to ask if you talk really fast in RL. I always feel like I've been running (oh who am I kidding, in the shape I'm in, it's a power walk) after I get through reading your frenzy of Robfuckery comments. And I mean that as a compliment :)

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  102. Awesome posting. I love all the new vocab lessons! Can't wait to bust out a few choice phrases today so my family members can shake their heads wondering what is wrong with me. Lol

    Fkat

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  103. @Sprtzmom- I suppose I do talk quite fast, I once had to give a presentation in college; 20 minutes they said, after 5 I'd said it all and was verbally fucked so to speak. I had to blather for another 10 mins, drinking lots of water then had to excuse myself to go wee! Later I actually presented courses on customer satisfaction which I was rather good at and became a little more adept a speaking slowly.
    I know what you mean though when I read these back I think blimey sarah you're running away at the gob again but I type how i think which is pretty fucked up at times haha. See its the Rob coming out in me, out of me, hm I don't mind either as long as he was in me in the first place. Ha! Customer satisfaction I'd show Rob how to be delighted (rofl) oh my, I'd delight the fuck out of him so to speak. Gotta stop swearing, there's no set limit to how many fucks I get is there cos I think in my life I have become WAYYYYYYYYYY overdrawn on the fucking!!
    Earlier I was reading some fanfic in the car as I was waiting to pick my children up and you know when you sit there, eyes wide thinking ohhhhhh yeah at a REAALLY good part and you feel someone looking at you? Well I looks up and there's 2 gasmen standing by my car, peering in the window. I thought hello boys (I swear for 1 moment as I glanced up I hallucinated Rob as twins ((oh the things I could talk about there))!)
    So I slide the window down and smile sweetly asking yes chaps how can I help you; and in an accent that can kill passion at 10 feet dead ( I live in the west midlands, its not conducive to sexy believe me)sorry Mrs can yo move yo car cos yo are on me manhole. That was it I was lost in a huge belly laff as it suddenly hit me I'm imagining sitting over Rob Pattinson (as twins) manhole....who needs fanfic with my mind!!!!!

    Word verif-wheme-its a midlands term it means we are as in wheme gooing down the shaps. Translated-we are going to the shops

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  104. ROFL Nibbleit!! I agree, knackered after reading that monologue! PMSL at the Rob twins and the manhole speechy bit!
    Bless ya, even if you did make me burn my curry while I read it through to the end ;o)

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  105. I burnt my pie-but Twitard posting is worth it. Right off to finish my fanfic and wait for hubby to get back-growl!!!!!

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  106. Burnt your pie? Sounds sore ;o)

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  107. nothing worse than a burnt pie, I returned to eat my pie before I go read fanfic hehe.
    Actually one thing worse than a burnt pie. There was the time I singed my pop tart-not good!
    Diet is out the window this week

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  108. @Nibbleit-Rotflmao! You are TOO hilarious! I love reading your monolgues with all the "fuck's", and other words I don't know, crazy situational comedy, and I can even imagine the funny voices in my head. Haha, you're right. Who needs fanfic when you've got that stuff rolling around in your head.

    Fkat

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  109. @F-Kat-bless you, please remember me after I become famous for writing situation comedies-In my dreams, talking of which I'm off to read some more Intimate Ties, bwahahaha. Sometimes a girls gotta take her mind of the crazy in her head and pause. Thing is when I pause it usually become Rob infused. It doesn't take long, just a few seconds and there he is, doing stuff, to me, to him, to me, do me Rob, do me, for the love of God DO ME!!!!!!! I'm going to see New Moon again soon with my other slight less Robsessed friend Sue. She just wants to look after him and keep him safe in a mothering way. I just want to LOOK after him in a totally perverted shag him till his nuts fall off sense and with that I bid you adieu, I hope only till tomorrow cos I could possibly EXPLODE from the amount of Rob obsessed stuff I have in me. I'll be wandering around with my husband sneaking off to bookshops to look at the Rob annual and stroke his picture smiling. It may be till saturday, I may burst!!! My eldest son is now prising the kepyboard out of my hot sweaty hand, screeching you promised mum you said you'd only be 5 minutes. I just said to him, in the grand scheme of things son, what IS time lol. He ain't buying it I have to go.
    Rob's log (hur hur) star date 26.11.09 6.46pm signing off xx

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  110. She's a bloody nutter, are we sure she works for the NHS and isn't just locked up in one of their psychy wards somewhere? ;o)!!

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  111. LMFAO. That was hilarious! And I almost choked on my stuffing while watching it. I <3 you guys! Happy birthday Jenny!

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  112. I laughed so hard, I choked.... so funny!

    BTW - my verification word to post this comment is "clurtid" - WTF?? just sayin'....

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  113. new moon movie of twilight saga is outstanding ! enjoyed a lot watching twilight new moon !!

    http://www.twilightnewmoon.info

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  114. Oh. My. God. I can't believe how hard you bitches make me laugh! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! (and btw, I totally vote Commando. And those pants hangin' way down low....priceless. Ahhhhh.....!!)

    Gimme some of that Scruffward for christmas, pluueeezz Santa! Not that I've been a good girl or anything.....

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  115. @Nebilet - I've put in my order for a sex tape with Rob. Can you bring the props? Thanks.

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  116. I'm going to feed my fantasy a little more and say that Rob was being 100% honest in that interview about what he wears to bed. I think I may need to go check out those Vanity Fair pics one more time... Sigh.

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  117. OMG!!! I just started readin ur blog today! I feckin love it! how bloody refreshing! YAY :) It's nice to read a blog made by over 30's (as am i) :) xx

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