Monday, November 23, 2009

I Can Do a Pro-Taycob Post Without Being Pervy... Really!

Good thing the vamps in Twilight don't have pointy fangs or I'd be confused...

I've been mulling this post over since I was still basking in the honeymoon-y glow of our New Moon viewings (both of them!)... Actually, I've been thinking about the subject matter in general since Taylor Lautner sealed the deal and was officially signed to New Moon way back when. At the time, I'll admit it: I had mixed feelings. Settle down, settle down - I was totally rooting for him! - and the other "original" wolf pack dudes, too - the same way I rooted for Rachelle Lefevre when she was in the process of being ousted. But there was a tiiiiiny part of me that would have been ok if the part of Jacob had suddenly been filled with someone less clean-cut looking. A hair older...and more...edgy. A tad dangerous looking, maybe. Less clean-cut. Did I mention less clean-cut and possibly slightly older? Like, "of "age"! Someone you'd believe could make some trouble. And maybe even win Bella's heart. Even though you knew who was gonna get her in the end (and if you don't, you really need to be reading the books and not this blog. Just sayin').

This photoshoot was a little bad-ass, admittedly...

I thought that I'd have a hard time buying Taylor Lautner's Jacob as the love interest opposite Robert Pattinson's Edward. But I am happy to admit that I was wrong. I will give the kid this much - he's a damn good actor, even if he does over-enunciate. I guess it makes up for KStew's propensity for mumbling, but that's neither here nor there. We'll get to that soon enough.

Granted, I'll never look at Taycob the way I look at Robward. And this is a good thing. I think. But it's ok to think that Jake is good-looking. Damn - we all know how hard he worked out to beef up for the role, and I say "Well done!" - If you're into that kinda thing... It's also ok if maybe you spontaneously and nearly inaudibly muttered "I'm going to jail..." to yourself the first time he ripped his shirt off in the movie (it's OK Latchkey Wife--your secret it totally safe with us!).

We're going to wait another day or so - or maybe until after Thanksgiving? - before we get into the details of the movie (we're anxious to get to it! if you have the means and haven't seen it by then, well...tough), but Taylor Lautner delivered. You felt his emotions and forgot that he played Shark Boy. He still might have look like a fish out of very clean, fresh water to me when I watched him with the other cast members during the promo-tour frenzy (let's just say you never wondered if he's just had a good shag and I will bet his hotel room was really clean and he probably made his own bed...with hospital corners), but he delivered the goods in New Moon. So no, I'm not switching teams - Team Edward Forever! Team Jacob Never! - but daaaaaang: he pulled it of! And he looked mighty fine doing it. For a boy of seventeen.

P.S. See?! I did it! I did an entire post without talking about his bronzed eight-pack or his pecs or his dazzling teeth that are pointier than any of the vampires or his...OK stopping now - quit while I'm ahead, right? I don't want to win a hot date with Chris Hansen, after all. Did I mention that he's got a nice smile? He does, you know. If I had a young gal pal, sister, or kid, I'd totally let her be Team Jacob. Er, maybe.

You know he'd come in to meet the folks and would have his date home by midnight...

[Note for me from JJ that I am posting even though - and maybe because - she threatened me with physical violence if I were to do so: He was good. Very good. But why the fuck were his teeth so white? And he did that weird noise thing with his mouth. You know how I can't FUCKING STAND people making weird noises with their mouths. But he did it a bunch of times. Oh, and he came off totally smug in some instances but I guess Jacob did too (if you post all of this I'm going to punch you in your cute little nose tomorrow, fyi, because I'm going to bed now) and his teeth were sooooo FUCKING white. What gives? Who the fuck has teeth that white? It's like he should be in a fucking milk commercial or something. You know, "milk - it does a body good." and then Taycob grins his dazzling smile and rips off his shirt and shows his six pack. Someone needs to give that goody-two-shoes a six-pack. In about four years.]

P.S. I viewed at waaaaay too many pics of Taycob's torso looking for pics for this post. When I got to the point where I was looking at a fan-made New Moon poster and realized I knew it was a photoshopped job because the navel, abs, and pecs were all wrong, I decided to call it a night.

48 comments:

  1. I am with you STY I think he did an amazing job and I totally fell for him just like I did when I read the book. I almost feel like his and Kristen/Bella's chemistry is better than her and Rob's/Edward. I too am Team Edward Forever but they played off each other really, really well. The Jacob/Bella break-up scene made my heart ache and well, he looked pretty hot all dripping wet and angry (gaaah! not legal, not legal).

    I seriously do not get why his teeth were so freaking white--he needs to hang out with the smoker crowd some more or drink copious amounts of coffee...uh, did I just type that? He should have at least skipped that last teeth whitening treatment. While I still stand by me newfound love and lust of CWeitz why didn't he shade in those pearly whites a bit in post-production? Maybe they have some secret Crest sponsorship we don't know about....search for that product placement people.

    Enough about Jacob....when do we get to discuss Robward's manipple scar....please, please, please!

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  2. He definately needs to get some sort of teeth darkening addiction...the white teeth just drive home the whole "purity" thing a little too much. Turn 18 already!!!!!!

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  3. I have to admit that Jacob had me hypnotized for a while in the movie. And then Bella & Alice go a save Edward. ~~Ahh~~ I thought the Brail scene, though brief, was awesome and him crushing the cell phone…noooo!
    My daughter’s bf went with us to see the movie and asked which “team” I was on and I said, “Edward all the way”, “but that I was starting to lean towards Jacob but snapped out of it.”

    I think because Jacob is a bit tanner than Bella & Edward that could be a reason why his teeth look brighter. And maybe some white strips?

    I might add Kellan is starting to appeal more and more with those abs and the bright smile.

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  4. Ok, so first TwiWeasel tells me she has an issue with his nose, now you guys mention his teeth. I can't comment, he could have been missing both for all I noticed, I don't remember my eyes going higher than his shoulders. Oh, and he's legal here so I don't even care, although apparently Mr Stan has an issue with it, quelle surprise. First he moans because all I do is perve at Rob, then he has issues when I decide to share my love around a bit more *tut*.

    Good post though STY, and LOL at JJ!

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  5. so many of my friends converted to team jacob after this movie. I agree he did good, but like you said, team edward foreverrr no one presses my buttons like him haha

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  6. me and my group of friend who are mostly either gay or drag queens (i have strange friends ) anywho when taycob took his shirt off the fist time. the entier theather went *gasp* and a few "hot damn" s from the queens. my best friend leaned in and super quiet wisperd in my ear "the age of consent in texas is 17 so its okay to stare...kind of" and thats all it took to make me a pedobear. granted im only a few years older than him...BUT STILL! why dose the kid have to look like that??!?!?!?!?!?! wtf! *im going to burn in hell forever*
    ~Tory

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  7. Omigod!!! I could not agree with you ladies more!! I leaned over to my tacob fan friend halfway through the movie and said "holy shit Jacob has an effing hot bod!!!" and of course she just laughed and said "welcome to the team." I shunned her for the rest of the night. :)

    But my main reason for commenting is to send you this: taycob. I sent it to all my Team Jacob friends and I bet you'll get a kick out of it too. (PS. got that from theshagdaddy on twitter.

    And JJ - TOTALLY agree about the teeth. I thought that several times through the movie (errr movie viewings -- I've seen it seven times now). It reminded me of the movie 10,000 BC. Those actors had PERFECT white teeth which distracted me JUST a bit.

    <3

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  8. @VitaminR - did you see Robsessed's Mipple Gate investigation?! You must check out this link if you haven't?! I was thinking the same thing when Edward was stripping. I was thinking "NO!!!! Why does he have to have a Chandler-esque nubbin?!" Thank God he's perfect schmerfect in real life. However, WHY the weird nipple? Did I miss something in the books?

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  9. I gotta agree with the Taycob acting kudos, still... he does nothing for me so my address is safe from Chris Hanson. The Bella/Jacob break-up was really, really good, but as in the book: I simply, impatiently waited for Edward to get his shit together and come back. Mipple and all. (It was hard to miss in the 3rd row but I squelched my curiosity and immersed myself in the reunion.) Maybe they'll explain it in the DVD extras?!

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  10. I can't believe he was standing there wearing *those* trousers, all happy trail & V-esque and you were all looking at his nipples!

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  11. The way Taylor played Jacob, made me like Jacob. I'm not Team Jacob in the least but hats off to Taylor for a job well done! Dude was awesome!
    Yes! What's with the teeth Taycob?? I'm with VitaminR, was Crest the sponsor for the wolvepack or something? Did I miss the product placement?
    I missed the Mipple! The huge u.g.l.y ass brown shoe was all I could see!!!!

    "He still might have look like a fish out of very clean, fresh water to me when I watched him with the other cast members during the promo-tour frenzy (let's just say you never wondered if he's just had a good shag and I will bet his hotel room was really clean and he probably made his own bed...with hospital corners)"
    Oh STY, so true. He shows up in a three piece suit, while Rob may have figured out how to button his shirt correctly that morning.

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  12. @Miss Amy Ripp--yes, I did see that at Robsessed. It is freaking hysterical. Why mess with perfection CWeitz?

    @Stan--Oh I was looking everywhere. It wasn't until my third viewing that I discovered the deformed nipple--nobody messes with Robward's nipple?

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  13. Love how you balance twatwaffle talk with Taycob Appreciation Day, and how you're truly dignified about it. Srsly ladies, this is why I come back to this blog, because I don't have to gingerly avoid the utter skeeviness of cougars purring. I mean, I am totally for owning your sexuality at any age but I draw a bright line and put a tall fence up at jail bait. Yikes. That's one hot steaming mess in my book.

    I am considering lugging Breaking Dawn on a plane tomorrow... with my one year old AND three year old AND laptop and a movie for them. Crazy, maybe. ;)

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  14. "testing, testing. one...two"
    Hello. My name is Erin and I'm officially coming out and acknowledging my abnormal fascination with these damn books. I am Team Jacob, and like many other 30somethings, feel shame for my attraction to a crest-whitestrip-sock-rolling-and-color-coding-eddie-haskell-type 17 year old. Frankly, I haven't seen anyone who has taken my breath away on the big screen since a wet Keanu Reeves in Point Break. Bottom line: Taylor Lautner is frigging beautiful!!
    Funny little story to tell: I figured waiting a day or two would thin out the crowds a bit, so last night (Sunday) was it. When Taylor took his shirt off all the females in the theatre gasped, whispered, rustled...you could cut the tension in the theatre with a knife. I took that as a cue, and applauded...loudly. Everyone in the theatre laughed...just couldn't help myself.

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  15. haha i love this.
    i've been team jacob since almost the very beginning-definitely before either of the movies.
    taylor was just a (big, completely acceptable) plus.
    and i don't feel TOO bad ogling/adoring him. we're only almost 6 years apart. that's okay, right? ...right?

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  16. I've liked Jacob all along, thought he was cute, but in the little brother kinda way. Until he whipped his shirt of and 10 pack ahoy!

    I do agree those chompers could be dimmed down a bit, and I need to get the number or his tooth whitener!

    Just think, by the time Eclipse comes out, he'll be legal!!! (even i he wasn't when they filmed it, but, I'll allow it!)

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  17. Yeah, I totally agree with you STY - Taylor did such a brilliant job, I was really impressed how he delivered. I totally bought it, and he was actually pretty much what I had imagined Jacob to be like in the book.... I think his tanned skin would make his teeth was so much whiter, but you need shades to look at that smile! LOL

    If the 2 showings I have been to are anything to go by - it was pretty much all Team Jacob... I think I nearly lost all hearing when he whipped the shirt off at first! The friend I went with to the movie the 2nd time, who would not be a Twi-ard by any means actually said " You have to feel sorry for the Vamp guy shirtless, next to the Wolf guy!" Priceless! I still love ya Robward - you and your dodgy vamp mipple!

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  18. Okay, question 1: who's Chris Hensen, and why is he blocking my view of the gorgeous Taycob torso? Okay, call me a perv, but I'm not going to stop thinking he's yummy. Nope. I must say, Lautner made Jacob much more appealing to me, as he annoyed the hell out of me in the book.

    Question 2 - Why the hell do some of you think that there is something wrong with Rob's nipple? I don't see any deformity! It's just hair that shaped itself to look like a bite mark. I don't see no reason to think otherwise. If you gals still think I'm dense, please, enlighten me. Please. :D

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  19. It would appear that we really should discuss "mipple/nipplegate" - i'm thinkin' i'll have to swipe pics elsewhere (ROBsessed I'm lookin' your way...) because we don't know how to get all those screen shots, but we'll muddle through.

    Nothing wrong with being Team Jacob! That's what New Moon is all about, right??? Er, now get off my blog. I kid, I kid!! Even all you nutty wolfy lovers are all welcome here - lol...

    I remember the SCREAMS at comic-con when they showed the clip earlier this year - people LOST IT when they showed Jacob's abs-o-steel. And he earned it. : )

    Chris Hansen is the host of that "To Catch a Predator" show where they bust people (er, adults) who are online predators of underage kids. OMFG it sounds so awful when i type it out - I'll never use that reference again - eek!

    Miss Amy Ripp--SEVEN TIMES!? I think you get the crown for most viewings! Anyone able to top that? wow!! go you! : )

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  20. Ok, I am going to PRETEND that Taycob is 18 (he will be in February) & say this...even I am totally Team Edward, Taycob is smoking hot. I've said this before & I'll say it again, I am no longer skeezed out when my husband looks at some teenage chick & says...DAYUM! I get it! So, if we are playing Fuck, Marry, Kill, Taycob is TOTALLY my Fuck. Robward is my marry, cuz then I'd get to fuck him as often as I'd like. Off to see New Moon for the second time - WOOT!

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  21. @ Sabrina, I take it all the Jacob/Edward fucking has left you in a good mood seeing as you forgot to kill anyone there! LOL!

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  22. I'm glad SOMEONE is finally bringing this to light! I think Taycob did a fantastic acting job and definately I applaud his dedication to keep his role in the "Twilight" series but I just can't like him - I can't fantasize about him like I do RPattz (my fav has to do with a mask, a body of lotion and a videocamera...ahem..ANYWAY! :) ) His almost to tan body and his VERY freaking white teeth - does he rinse with Clorox or what?!?!

    There was a louder cheer for Jacob in my midnight showing than for Edward and the first time he took his shirt off, a lady in front of me could be heard throughout the the theater saying "I am a dirty old lady!!" She got quite a laugh for that!

    I've only seen the movie once but pretty sure I'm making my second trek this weekend - YAY!!

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  23. @ Stan - you almost made me snot out my morning coffee. Kill.....hmmmm - probably Eric, cuz his hair pisses me off, or Jessica, cuz she's a snotty bitch.

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  24. I paint male bodies with oils and spatula, and that body is going to be hanging on my wall in some months to come. He is physically beautiful.

    I totally agree about the teeth, wow!!

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  25. Forever Team Robward!! But Taycob did a fantastic job!! The Bella/Jacob breakup scene was heart wrenching. I can’t say enough things about how wonderful everyone did!

    I have to admit it… I noticed the Rob mipple instantly, then went immediately to his low (very low) riding pants. Hhhhhhhhhhot.

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  26. I agree, thought that Taylor did a great job bringing Jacob to life (even though I think he's kinda douchey in real life.) Oh and I believe my exact words were, 'Fuck me. I'm going to jail.' LOL!

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  27. Yeah, still Team Edward. I thought Taylor did a pretty good job. I'm not attracted at all to him though. Not even one lil iota. Way too clean cut for me. Those teeth are too white. And pointy - like I suspect that making out with him could result in injury. Oh that sounded WAY dirtier than I would have ever wanted it too.
    I just wish he was taller. Jacob doesn't just get buff - he gets tall. Couldn't they have done something about that in post-production? I mean if CWeitz goes after Rob's nipple, why not make Taylor tall or something.

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  28. It was quite shocking for me at my midnight showing. When Jacob took off his shirt, it was the expected squeeling. And when Edward did the same, nothing. Like crickets chirping nothing. I couldn't quite figure it out, thought I was in the twilight zone (hmmm, no pun intended) for a moment. But then I greedily rubbed my hands together and said...Buhwahhaha, he's all mine then!!!

    No killing Jessica, Sabrina...snotty bitch that she may be...damn she had the best lines. I have to say I was pretty impressed with the job she did. But Eric, throw him to the wolves for sure!!

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  29. Glad this subject is out of the bag finally! ;) I too had the same in-theater experience as others: my heart and breath stopped when Taycob took off his shirt in that one fell swoop to wipe the blood off Bella's head (sanitary? NOT!). And I know I wasn't the only one. I swayed toward Team Jacob during this film, I admit it. And I take my hat off to Taylor, he did a great job prepping the bod for the role and I thought his acting was good -- totally blew Kstew away for the most part. Of course that's not so hard to do IMO.

    But I agree with Sabrina, I'd take Jacob for a night but Edward for a lifetime!

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  30. LOL!! I'm glad someone else was distracted by the glowing beacon of Taylor's teeth. My friends were making fun of me for how distracting I found it.

    Um, anyway, yes. Taylor did much better than I thought. But no one - no one, could convince me to switch to that team just because of some abs. Besides, I loved Rob's heaving abs (so maybe you had to look a little closer for his) and happy trail when he was being held by Felix in Volterra. YUM.

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  31. My daughter (who's 19) thinks I'm a pedophile now. Taycob's body sends me to another level of insanity!

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  32. I'm Team Edward even more after this. Am I like the only one that actually likes Robward's body better than Taycob's? I mean, I was like Wow, Taycob is really hot (even though he had way too white shark teeth and a weird nose), and he did a great job in the movie, but nothing happens to me when I see him. Robward is beyond hot--I get all flustered, giddy, turned on, and emotional every time he comes on the screen. I've always kind of liked skinny buff, though, and focus on the face.

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  33. I keep looking over my shoulder for Chris Hansen. Good thing he doesn't do the To Catch a Predator show anymore. I totally felt like a big perv in the theater. Last night I actually had a yelling argument with my niece over Rob. It's getting out of control.

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  34. I gotta admit, Jacob does nothing for me. Taylor did a great job with the role, but just like with the book, I was waiting impatiently for the Cullens to come back! I am firmly in the Team Edward camp, nothing will ever make me change!

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  35. You know, it does say in the books, somewhere, that his teeth are dazzingly white against his bronze skin - or something to that effect. (I'm sure Stephanie threw in a few more adjectives and I'm not giving the description justice.)

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  36. I'm still rolling on the floor about the hospital corners. It had me wondering if he goes to bed with a three-piece suit on. Yes, his teeth were blindingly white, but that's better than a mouthful of Keith Richards' pirate teeth. As for Robward's wierd mipple? I def noticed it, but it only distracted me for a second as I followed the happy trail down, down, down...

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  37. @STY - Well, I'm kinda cheating. I saw it in the theaters on Friday with all my twi-gfs and I instantly wanted to see it again when it ended. But, I had no one else to drag to the theater with me, so I did the next best -- errr, albeit illegal -- thing. I found a bootlegged version online. I know, I know. Slap my wrists, but what can I say, I'm a fiend. So I basically watch it when I get home and then fall asleep to it (I must say, I have never slept so soundly).

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  38. Saw the movie last night and holy tweens screeching, batman! Everytime Taycob was shirtless, the whole theater got breathless and started squirming. That boy is Hot and I totally feel creepy saying that since I'm 30 lol

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  39. During "New Moon" I'm so Team Jacob - I think Taylor is adorable and I'm jealous that his teeth are so white. I wish my teeth were that white. I admit I have an obsession with teeth, hence why I'm in my 30's sporting braces that I truly didn't need.

    But Taylor killed it in this movie - his portrayal of Jake was the second only to Michael Sheen's portrayal of Aro. Those 2 performances were my favs in the movie. My other favorite portrayal was Taylor's abs in the role of "I'm going to jail if I stare too hard" because they were amazingly ridiculous. It makes no sense for his body to be that nice at his age. I feel dirty thinking about it and jealous as well because I want a six-pack and not of the Corona variety either.

    I'm super glad they didn't cast Michael Copon - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0178757/because he can't act. Not a bit - I admit I watch Teen Nick and was enamored with "Beyond the Break" and its horrifically bad everything. But if Copon ended up as Jake I think I would've just bought "New Moon" on the street and never gave a dime to Summit. Because if you thought "Twilight" was bad - Copon would have made "Twilight" Oscar worthy.

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  40. was it just me, or did anyone else notice how all the closeups of Jacob/Taylor outside shirtless, he was shaking his ass off? I don't know how he didn't end up with pneumonia, but it was very distracting for me. (the shaking)

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  41. Does it make it less creepy/illegal if in my head he's 25? Because he sure doesn't look 17. They didn't grow 'em like that when I was 17.

    My two cents on other topics in this thread: The manipple issue is hair, not a Chandler-esque nubbin. Jacob shivers because he's angry and trying not to phase, just like in the books.

    Obbbbbsessed w/ the movie!

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  42. I agree with everybody that Taylor did a great job as Jacob and was Hawt! HOWEVER, there is nothing sexier on this earth that some RPATTZ and his pained expressions as Edward.

    I did notice the nipple oddity and wondered about it. Then I checked out the Robsessed article and remembered about his shirt being torn right over his nip as he's walking to the Volturi. They show a close-up picture of the bite mark. Interesting...

    Anyhoo, can't wait for some serious make-out scenes in Eclipse (and there better frickin' be some!)

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  43. Taylor did a much better job than I expected in NM. I still don't find him attractive. You know that saying you can put lipstick on a pig but its still a pig? No amount of muscles will make him cute to me. He's way too white bread. Plus, I prefer my men dirty, TALL (six feet and over please) and thin with british accents. ;)

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  44. Did anyone see the G4 show tonight with PFach. They did a parody on Breaking Dawn where Bella has the baby. FUNNY!

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  45. I'm forever Team Edward!
    In the books Jacob just plainly annoyed me, however in the movie Taylor did an amazing job and made Jacob much more likable.

    As for the 8pack, yeah I gasped so did everybody, but it's like a cool poster, catches your eye only for a second, whereas Robs demure never gets old.
    About the bed in hotels, there was a funny interview with Rob and Taylor one of the questions was pajamas or nothing :) well... it's not hard to guess what Taylor said and what Rob said :) Just saying...

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  46. I'm glad someone finally said something on this topic 'cause every time I saw Taylor shirtless in NM, I felt like I should register as a sex offender. ;) I don't think anyone else could have fit the role better. And sorry, but I think I've switched teams. Wait...that didn't come out the right way. ;)

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  47. Wow....just saw New Moon today and while I ignored my sister telling me how good Taylor was in the movie...I have to agree....he held his own. I even like KStew better when she acts with him.....I dunno... did Edward seem a little constipated to you? Loved the wolves, loved the Volturi (Michael Sheen was brilliant as Aro - dude gave me chills)....all in all, I was very happy with the film....much better look and feel to it than Twlight. Now I can't wait for Eclipse (my fave book of the series).

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  48. new moon movie of twilight saga is outstanding ! enjoyed a lot watching twilight new moon !!

    http://www.twilightnewmoon.info

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