I've been watching and rewatching my Twilight DVD recently (and I FINALLY listened to the commentary - twice! - and was cracking up! and yes I lurv Adork-a-Robward that much more now...) and it suddenly occurred to me that the New Moon DVD can't be that far off! Of course I was figuring that it would come out before the June release of Eclipse [can you say "Twiple Feature"?!] but then did some calculating and figured that since the Twilight DVD came out on March 21st, the New Moon DVD release should be right around the same time! Wooo!! Just around the corner! Sort of...
That bitch did it again. Dammit.
This is JJ last year in Texas when she should have been here with me... for the DVD release. Did I mention she's a total fucking two-timing twatwaffling donkey-sucking bitch? I love her, but it's true.
Last year when the DVD came out, Jenny Jerkface ditched me and ran off to SXSW with Mini-Edward! I was distraught! I couldn't even go to the Hot Topic midnight DVD release party! OK, truth be told, I wasn't sure if I would have went to the release party at Hot Topic. But I am unquestionably and irrevocably out of the Twi closet now and damn it, I'm going this year! When that teen behind the counter at Hot Topic hands me my invite, I am not going to get all sheepish and scurry out of the store without making eye contact! I'm gonna look right at him and say "Thanks!!! I'll be the older chick dressed as Bella! See you then!!!"
Er, but here's the potential catch: JJ is going to SXSW again this year. She JUST booked her hotel room. And finding a hotel room for SXSW is like finding the Holy Grail. I should be happy for her. But I'm not.
I'm selfish and I want her to be here. No excuses, no matter what the cool cause.
We had the following email convo today:
Snarkier Than You: When is SXSW?
Jenny Jerkface: 3/17-3/21 - why?
STY: because if they release the dvd the same time they did last year and you're not here i'm going to freak the fuck out on you, that's why.
If JJ is away this year, I am yanking her admin rights and replacing her... Or painting her house red and black in her absence and getting a giant inflatable wolf to put in her front yard. And maybe some some wolf-pack standees... and a naked Edward (don't you worry how - I'll fucking make it happen! Scorned Snarky is extremely resourceful!!).
JJ: Oh. Crap. Yeah, probably they will. Please don’t hate me. Gizmo will keep you company! I'll get an early flight back!
STY: You better! and i will count you in for the midnight hot topic dvd release party this time?! Fan-freaking-tastic! because i would have been really really REALLY PISSED if you'd ditched me two years in a row. if my twi-partner-in-crime wants want to ditch me two years straight for SXSW, she'd better start a fucking band, STAT.
JJ: I just told on you to my Mom. LOL!
STY: if you're not around on the DVD release date, I'm gonna ask your mom to be my new Twi-bff. So there. you can't keep us apart forever.
What do you think you'll do for the release of the NM DVD?? How does it compare to last year?? Tell us all about it in the comments! And if anyone wants to preemptively apply to be my new Twi-Partner in Crime (I had zero takers last year but we have more than three followers this time around so my prospects are exponentially better...), you know how to get in touch with me...