Sunday, March 7, 2010

Psssst... Listen Closely, I Have a Secret!

That's right: I have a secret.

I've kept this one close to the vest for the most part, mostly in fear of being disowned by the majority of the Twidom... and especially by Jenny Jerkface and Snarkier Than You. [They've been pretty clear on how they feel about Breaking Dawn, but if you're wondering, you can read about it here and here. So I'm really going out on a limb here by disclosing this highly classified information. It's almost an I-could-tell-you-but-I'd-have-to-kill-you kind of secret. So gather around... come in real close... here goes nothing...

I actually liked Breaking Dawn.

Hello? Hellooooo?? Hey, where'd everyone go?

The first time I read it, I really, really liked it. OK, I may or may not have even loved it. Even I'll admit, from the first time, I wasn't all too crazy about the whole crazy half-demon child who's name I refuse to type because it's the stupidest sounding, asinine shit ever imagined. I plowed through that behemoth of a book in about 12 hours, and while I was sad it was the last book and wanted to make it last... I HAD to know how it ended. I'm all about the happily-ever-after! Um, ya, I'm a total sap.

Ya, kinda like this.

I was in love with the Book One portion of Breaking Dawn. I mean I wanted to sleep with the fucking thing under my pillow, I loved it so much. I loved the wedding, and the honeymoon... although I did actually accuse someone of tearing out the pages where they had hot, crazy, fumbling virgin sex... oh man did I feel cheated. I actually held the book upside down and shook it a little just to see if any sex would fall out. Nothing.

After the honeymoon, shit seemed to go a little down hill for me. Just a little bit. Even though I was a tad creeped out by the whole pregnancy thing, I absolutely fell in love with Bella as a vampire... despite the fact she wears fancy dresses hunting. I blame Alice! Duh, everyone knows you don't wear dresses hunting. Camouflage yes, dresses no. (JJ: Please take note of this if you ever go hunting. Leave the pretty dress at home!) But I could forgive the bad wardrobe choices. What I could not forgive was that pervy mutt Jacob for falling in love with a half-breed infant with an incredibly stupid name. Now that was just gross.

Ya, that's gross.

Once I finished, I had no idea what to do with myself. I just sat there on the couch in a daze. I mean fuck, there was no way in hell I could actually start reading a different book... with different characters. Hells no! So I did what any Twitard would do, I picked up Breaking Dawn and read it again. Ok, maybe that's not normal... but then again, I never said I was normal. The second time through, well, I started to take issue with some stuff. I felt even more double-crossed by the complete lack of a fucking sex scene. I started to question the whole getting-pregnant-by-a-technically-dead-guy because I'm pretty sure I learned somewhere along the way that sperm doesn't live too long after the body dies. And I started to hate that little mutant so much I was hoping Edward would go all vamp-crazy and kill it.

Just. Fucking. Wrong.

Enter FanFiction. The day I was introduced to FanFiction ranks right up there with the day I fell in love with Twilight. FanFic made me realize what Breaking Dawn was missing... it made me very angry. It made me want to burn my copy of that book.

Last summer, I decided my beach reading would be a third trip through the Saga. I sped through the first three books as if my life depended on it. I was in hog fucking heaven... sitting in my beach chair, toes in the sand, waves crashing in the distance, reading about my favorite couple, but imagining it was me getting boned by Edward... And then it happened. {{Cue the sound of breaks squealing on the pavement}} I started reading BD and it took me for-fucking-EVER to get through it. I felt sad. What had happened to me? Was it all the trash talking people (and by people, I mean JJ and STY) did about it online? I couldn't figure it out. I did know one thing though... I was really starting to hate this book and it was upsetting me.


It's been several months since I finished BD for the third time and I'm thinking it's about time to start reading it again. I want... no, I need to give it another chance. Maybe I was pissed that it was taking away from my blogging time, or my voracious appetite for smutty FanFiction. I don't really know. But we used to be so good together and I need to see if we can rekindle that magic. If not, I'm seriously tossing that fucking book in the woodstove! So I wanna know... you can tell me, whisper it in my ear... I promise to keep your secrets... did you ever like Breaking Dawn? Even just a little bit?

96 comments:

  1. Of course! I LOVED BD...well...up until the Mutt took over from his point of view. Then some of the stuff about the other coven history bored me to tears. I sped thru it pretty fast but skipped over some stuff. When I read it the second time, I read it word for work and absolutely loved it.
    Everyone is different I guess. Now i have the urge to read the saga again. Well maybe from the end of New Moon on...Just read Twi recently.
    xoxo

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  2. Awww a girl after my own heart! Yay for me! Thanks for putting yourself out there Jen.

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  3. i thought breaking dawn was absolute shit! i personally thought they should have ended the series on the third book- the whole baby thing really REALLY annoyed me seeing as how edward cant even produce tears but miraculously produces sperm. yeah didnt like the book at all. stupid ending too. i probably wouldnt even watch the film if it wasnt for rob pattinson! x

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  5. Liked it! Fanpire in TN

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  6. LOVED IT!...read it 3 times....had my issues with it too tho...that dazed feeling after the 1sr time..yeah i had that...and i couldnt cheat on my fave couple eather...so I too read it again..and found the FanFic loophole...oh thank God (or Edward, whatev) for all the amazing continuations to the saga that are out there...they gave me the closure I needed...tho like you .....its been a while and it may be time to give it another go....I do miss my favorite sparking vampire and twitchy human....

    BTW its been a pleasure reading your blogs...all three of you bring such amazing hilarity and wit to my life..... THANKS!

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  7. PS...I totally AWW'd at the Edward and Bella wedding pic......I CANT WAIT FOR ECLIPSE!!!!! PLEASE let it be better then...well, you know...

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  8. True Confession: I love all the books of the Twilight Saga. I'm a sucker for anything that ends with happily ever after. The first part of Breaking Dawn was best for me. I always speed thu Jacob's part. Also love how perfect Bella is a a vampire, like she was born to be one. She is graceful, controlled and basically the best vampire ever. Wish the book ended there. I hate the whole weird battle & everything that leads up to it. Just let them be to make mad love in their little cottage.

    Funny how I never cried when Edward left in New Moon, but I have cried when Alice left in Breaking Dawn. I love Alice in a completely non-lesbo kind of way.

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  9. I really liked Breaking Dawn up to the point when Bella is a pretty vampire and they go back to the cottage. I agree with TwitardedMom and would have been happy if they ended it there. The pathetic battle scene was a waste.

    I thought telling the rest of the pregnancy from Jacob's point of view was neat, but I didn't need all the Leah and old-pack/new-pack drama.

    I am a pure Edward & Bella girl, that is all I want to read! I am totally addicted to fan fiction that fills in the blanks from the honeymoon too!

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  10. I'm pretty sure SM could've just printed Edward's name 13,000 times & I would've loved BD the first time. I did get to the honeymoon scene & checked the page numbers a dozen times for the obviously missing pages. (Someone has those pages & I WILL find them. Mark my words.)

    After I read it again I kinda hated it. Along with the reasons you listed, I was pissed that everyone got their HEA but Leah. WTF did she ever do to anyone? I also hated Bella's passive shield bullshit. If I had a vamp power it would be a flamethrower that shot from my fingertips.

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  11. We all know my opinion on this piece of shit book. That being said, one of the things that really pissed me off, but isn't often brought up, is what @TexasKatherine said:

    WTF did Leah do to deserve the shit she got? She was the only one who didn't get some kind of happy ending or closure. Frankly, I kept hoping she would eat Renesmee...

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  12. I love your post! I loved BD and skimmed through Jacob's part only to get back to Edward and Bella. I too felt cheated with the honeymoon and well thanks to you...I am going to check out fanfiction as soon as I finish this post. I have read BD too many times to count, however this last time I found myself in the same predicament as you...I just can't finish it...I am hoping by starting the series again this week I will be able to finish all of them again...however I have to keep my reading between 8 am and 4 pm to avoid the horrible sarcastic eye rolls of my husband and children! sighhh...

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  13. I hate this book more than any other book I have ever read. When I finished it, I put it on the shelf and have never touched it again.

    The other Twilight books are not allowed anywhere near it and I just pretend that the Saga ended with Eclipse, where Bella finally admits she loves Jacob, too. The completely whacked-out birth scene and Jacob imprinting on Renesmee were the literary lows of my entire reading life.

    I try to avoid conversations about BD because I cannot control my voice - I get louder and louder until I am screaming lika a lunatic when I get to the Jacob part.

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  14. I kinda liked it the first time I read it. Then I read it again and stuff started to piss me off. She-who-must-not-be-named always creeped me out a little, but by the time I was finished reading it the third time I wanted to kill the demon spawn myself. Don't get me started on the Jacob imprint (love the cartoon btw). And just how the fuck does Edward have sperm?!

    I also hate how Edward just sort of...disappears in part three. For fuck sake, Meyer, he's the main reason we read the damn books in the first place!

    For all these reasons I don't bother with BD anymore with my rereads.

    @TwitardedMom: I hate it when Alice leaves too! She's my fave character (after Edward, natch)

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  15. I loved BD! I'll admit I had my issues with certain things, but overall, I'm a sucker for a happily ever after.

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  16. Hi LKW

    I loved your post and I'm totally not ashamed that I loved BD. As always I could do completely without the Jacob Renesmee thing and wish that she had not told it from Jacobs POV. The wedding was wonderful and the honeymoon got filled in by fanfic. In fact the only reason I got into fanfic was because I was looking for the lost honeymoon scene. My fav is still one that I found that I'm not sure is well known. Can't remember the name just now but it's one of the first ff recs I posted on my blog a while back.
    I'm happy she went hunting in her dress. The idea of that ice blue sheath streaking through the forest with Edward behind her is magic. The final scene where she finally reveals her thoughts made me cry and still does. I am a hopeless romantic to the point of avoiding all movies now that might end in angst. The fact that they both learn at the end that they are worthy of love and have the rest of forever to share it is what makes this story. If twilight just stopped midway through new moon I'm boy sure i'd be as enamored.
    So yes in short I agree with you that BD is good :)

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  17. Oh, man, I might be putting myself on a shit list for admitting this, but YES, I did like BD the first go around. I was shiting rainbows and farting butterflies after the sugar-sweet happy ending...but then, well, I started thinking about it and like you, it pissed me off more than it made me SQEEEEEEE. Just the name, that I too, can not even type, because it is too fucking stupid, is enough to ruin the entire book. Jacob becomes a pedophile, Charlie a clueless moron, the volturi grow a heart, and Bella loses all of her bumbling clutziness to become the stretch armstrong (with her mind, of course) of the vampire world. WTF. Someone needed to die. Sex needed to be described (in detail), and the halfbreed should've been kidnapped by the voluturi or something. It was pathetically happy and I still don't understand the odd scenes with the detective to develop halfbreed's papers for a runaway-escape with Jacob that never even had to happen. At least make us WONDER if something horrible was going to happen to halfbreed or if Edward's cock was all it was cracked up to be. No mention or description of it at all. I'm not sure why (in Stephenie Meyer's head) it is okay to write about Bella being basically dismembered by Edward in the birth scene is okay for her teen readers, but Bella being ravaged by Edward was too much. I love your description of shaking the book to see if the sex would fall out! That's how I felt, too! I went back and double checked that I didn't skip a page or one or two were not stuck together. We were totally jipped...three books of freakin' torturous foreplay and then....NOTHING. Splintered headboards and bitten pillows do not compensate for penetration. There better be SOMETHING in the movie for us to hold on to...let the sex scenes in the movie redeem the book, perhaps? It's not like KStew and the Precious aren't comfortable with each other. I say take it all off and go to town! We shall see, but yes, BD will still be a movie I highly anticipate and I will never say I hate the book. It just pisses me off from time to time.

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  18. Breaking Dawn is hands down my favorite book of the entire Saga. Everything about it was just perfect for me. Even the baby and the name. I know, I know, I'm insane. But you at least aren't alone in your love for BD.

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  19. I loved it too. The sex was missing, but we have made up for that in FF! Bella was everything I wanted her to be as a vampire, and we all lived happily ever after. I am a sucker for fairy tale cottages.....as for Jacob, I was even happy he was happy in a perverted sort of way.

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  20. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to know I'm not alone. Your show of support is overwhelming. [Did that sound a little Oscar-ish? I'm inspired by all these gag-worthy acceptance speeches, I guess. Why do I watch this shit?]

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  21. Some parts definitely did not sit well with me, but all-in-all I did like BD. Jacob's POV really breaks my heart though. I cried at the last scene of Eclipse, in the book, because of Jacob and BD didn't make it any better. I was hoping he would hook up with Leah.

    You all have me really curious now, though, so I'm off to scan some FF in search of the missing honeymoon scenes...

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  22. I did love Breaking Dawn but like you felt cheated out of a sex scene. It's like I needed to see what Edward was like when he was doing the dirty...I didn't care about Bella though. lol.

    I love this post, so friggen funny.

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  23. I hated BD. I hated every word that I read...in less than a day...and have read three more times.

    Honestly, I'm on team trilogy. I think I could have done without BD and have been perfectly happy. I'm the type of person who will put down a book three chapters into it and never pick it up again if I don't like it. I can't explain how or why I can continue to read BD. It must be some sort of bizarre phenomenon.

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  24. i like HEA endings!! i admit it. it worked for me. what can i say? if that makes me simple or shallow than so be it - lol! ok, fine, SOMEONE should have died in that "battle" - other than irina. really. i mean, that was a little much even for me to swallow.

    oh and @ 1st anon - tell us how you REALLY feel - lol! i have to admit that i am really interested in seeing how the movie works out. the fact that the deets aren't worked out yet is...curious.

    : )

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  25. It was my favorite one. I wrote a post about this a week ago, actually (I'm new, so almost no one reads me ... yet. Hi TC!) - BD and Twilight are my faves. I LURVE the HEA. They damn well better make a halfway decent movie (with some g.d. smutty honeymoon scenes), or I will be livid!

    I read BD for the second time right after the first, too - in fact, I read the saga for the first time and then read it in reverse order for my second time. :-) It seemed logical then...

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  26. Jesusfuckingshit...talking about BD is like throwing yourself to the sharks!! Everyone has a very strong asshole about the damn thing, and I am just awaiting the madness that will ensue when the fucking movie releases.
    @LKW I am in 3/4 through BD right now, but only for the 2nd time. And yes, it is taking me for fucking ever. I sped through that shit so fast the first time that I didn't really absorb it, I just needed to know WTF happened and how it ended! I then picked up Twilight and started over...
    This time however, I'm actually paying closer attention and am trying to stay focused on what MY
    real opinion is instead of letting myself be totally influenced by the TwiFandom. I do know this...I have never been enamored of the spawn, I love vampy Bella, the fucking dialogue sucks taint, and of course there's the utter fucking travesty that is the lack of sex!!!
    You had me LMMFAO when you said " I actually held the book upside down and shook it a little just to see if any sex would fall out. Nothing."

    I'll see how I feel when I finish it this time around.

    xx
    E

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  27. My biggest problem with BD wasn't the lack of sex, for me it was Jacob. Seriously, get a fucking clue and move on boy! And Bella! I mean, damn girl, you're a married woman. Edward is so whipped he lets Bella get all "happy" when she see's Jake walk through the door and trash talk his family. Then theres the whole Rosalie crap. I mean, what the hell happened with Alice? Thats her best friend, dying with a mutant baby inside of her, and Alice has a fucking headache, ignoring her? I got so tired of the wolf plot. BORING! I thought Jake would run off with Leah but that went nowhere. And then the book got good again; Bella was a vampire. Cool! This could be redeemed. But noooo, Stephenie has to take a collosal dump on my hopes by bringing in all these new characters we don't give a shit about. The infalible Volturi end up being punked by the Cullens and wuse out on a fight. And on top of that, what pissed me off more then anything, was how "Rennesme" wanted Jacob over Edward. A vampire who believed he deserved nothing, finally got love, a wife and a daughter after a century of self loathing... only to have it taken away by Jacob Black. I hate Jacob Black! I want to kick his annoying ass.

    *panting*

    Thankyou. I needed that. I haven't revisited that tragedy of a book since it came out. Maybe it's time to try again.

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  28. I liked Breaking Dawn. I liked Jacob's section (especially the titles, I thought they were hilarious and I could hear Jacob saying them). I liked the lack of sex and violence only because that is what you would expect to happen and Stephenie chose a different option. I like that Fan Fic can fill in these items for those that miss it but for me it works just fine not being there in Breaking Dawn.

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  29. ...Liked it alright the first time through, but I literally threw it on the ground when her name showed up. Dog jumped off the couch, and the bf gave me a look. Just couldn't handle it. Especially after being gipped out of sweet sexing. Mormons...can't even drink a coke. I guess you've inspired me to read it again...just to see.

    Ugh. Bile in my mouth. Guess I'll wait a while.

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  30. so for me, breaking dawn ranked #4 of the 4 books for me. um, to clarify, that would be the last - the worst - the least - favorite of the saga. but i didn't hate it.

    on a positive note, it was the quickest of all the reads - probably cuz i skipped thru all the wolf pack shit.

    having said that, it does have it's place.

    the wedding; the mother fucking cock blocking honeymoon (epic fail on the fucking bits - couldn't they at least have had some heavy petting, hand job or anything oral besides biting pillows? i mean c'mon - throw us a tit or ass snack or two!)

    and then there is the controversial delivery scene.

    that is one of my favorite parts - snaps for the uber gruesome bloodiness of it all.

    seriously - edward eating his way to the baby? how fucking cool is that shit? can't wait to see THAT on the big screen - and can you imagine THAT in 3D?

    as dr. frankenfurhter would say, "I shudder in...an...tici...pation"

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  32. LKW - luvs the BD picture...but shouldn't edward be sparkly? make him sparkle damnit!

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  34. @Dangrdafne: did you just read my mind? I think SM did a fantastic job at staying true to herself and writing what she was comfortable with. I'm reading all the books for the fourth time in a row (I don't know when I'll be able to stop picking Twilight rignt back up after the last page of BD...)Breaking Dawn is sort of like New Moon for me: there's stuff I know that's coming and I'm not looking forward to (break up in NM, when Bella finds out she's pregnant in BD) because in my opinion it's where the brain porn stops (I'm a mom, and I hate seeing the honeymoon come to an abrupt ending because of a effing unwanted pregnancy: how to distroy the romance). But somehow SM still totally pulls it off for me, and the story just works, there's always the new element that makes you keep turning pages. I'm just a little frustrated that the honeymoon was so short (not just for the sex, I would have love to see them prepare to go to Dartmouth or whatevs, also I would have wanted Bella's change to be a more sensual experience). Renesmee is a fugly name, there's no debating that. To my surprise, I loved hearing Jacob's point of view, he is hilarious, and I love that no one died (I had trouble explaining to people why I spent 3 days crying because of all the deaths in Harry Potter). I cried in BD when Bella makes the decision to send the baby and jake away, (and when Edward calls him brother, son,...)I know, I have issues.
    My biggest frustration was the way-too-short ending after the non-battle that lasted for so long, I would have loved a little MORE HEA (e.g. Edward's POV, a pendant to Midnight Sun, of the scene where he finally reads her mind. or a "50 years later" from his POV.)
    I'm insatiable for gooeyness (yep, Eclipse is my favorite).

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  35. @hippievag - hey sista girl. we share a demographic, huh? like age pehaps? i know it's not locale or even the family silver...heh.

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  37. Great post, LKW! So many comments here just crack me up, and I really enjoy getting the differing perspectives on this novel. I feel like I could say so much, but I'll *try* to keep it short...

    I read the first 3 books in a cracked-out frenzy, smitten (and feeling only a little guilty at the fact) with SM's entire fictional world. But then BD was the fastest comedown I've EVER experienced. It was sorta like SM knew I was having too much fun and decided to punish me for making fun of her and her books before I'd actually read them. (I know, karma's a bitch!) For all the reasons JJ, STY, and others here have said better than I can, I felt totally cheated by BD- cheated out of what could have been for the characters I'd fallen for. I wanted more for them! And by "more" I don't mean more pages or more pre-nonbattle build-up, or more latecomer characters...

    Anyhoo, nonetheless, I am grateful for BD for two things in particular:

    1) BD is why I found Twitarded! I was searching the interwebs trying to find some rational explanation for SM's series to conclude in such a way and I stumbled into one of JJ's posts on the topic. Reading that I was like wow, "I'm not the only one! And this shiz is really funny!"
    2) Because BD left me in such a gawdawful, hungover, cock-blocked emo-bitch state, I was desperate to get it out of my head, but I didn't want to say goodbye to those characters. Then. Came. Fan fic. God help me, I cannot put the smut down now. Nor do I want to.

    So thanks, Breaking Dawn! :)

    I don't know if I can ever read it again, however. Well, maybe if I get some strong drugs in me first...

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  38. This post & its comments have really made me think, something that anti-Twi people think we don't actually do.

    Like many of you, I got to the honeymoon scene and thought, I just read 2,000 pages for THIS! WTF!? I guess I need to go find the filler fan fic.

    I was also disappointed that Bella actually became a vampire. It seemed so important to Edward that she be human...I think it would have been cool to come up with something we didn't expect.

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  39. IMHO the best way to look at BD is that it's SM's book and she can write whatever she wants.
    Even if it sucks big time.

    It wasn't quite so bad the second time around as my expectations were low since I already knew what would - or wouldn't - happen.

    But Bella better be spewing that bloody fountain in the movie!

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  40. @hippievag - yeah, i just stay away from robsessed-type-blogs, so i can avoid getting escorted the fuck out...

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  41. So I cheated before I read BD, I read a synopsis on Amazon I think so I knew the baby was coming but I was excited for it! I have a love/kinda dislike relationship with BD. I loved it the first time through and possibly even the second time. But now I usually read part 1 and 2 and skim through 3. I thought the chapter titles for Jacob POV were kinda funny actually. When it comes to part 3 I generally skip over the arrival of all the vampires and skim through the "fight" I do love the ending though...even though I was sad to see it end. Oh and I am so happy that I found fanfic to fill in the honeymoon for me (Thank you LolaShoes!!!!!!!!)

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  42. Couldn't wrap my head around that whole baby mess.

    ShotgunCharlie said...
    "because in my opinion it's where the brain porn stops"

    EXACTLY!!!

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  43. I loved BD, I had so much fun. It was awesome to see that SM actually did allow Bella to turn into a vampire. She surprised me there.

    I also liked Jacob's POV, but I hated Edward during Bella's pregnancy. He behaved like such a pussy.

    I haven't re-read the saga though.

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  44. Did anyone else notice that the Breaking Dawn poster shown has an extra 'ing' on it??
    Oh yeah,I liked Breaking Dawn!! There were a few questionable things about it but all in all I liked it. I mean if we can believe the sparkling vampire part when that's not like other vampire books,then why not the sperm part? If i believed one part I guess the rest just fell in with it..but that's just me. The part that pissed me off the most was 2 little words...The End. I really hope she continues the story of Bella and Edward like she said she might do on Oprah!

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  45. Where can I read really good fan fiction/ brain porn?

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  46. canadiantwitard - yes, I noticed the extra 'ing' - are we missing something? is is supposed to be there?? LOL

    I liked BD.. a lot. Sure it had its issues - and they get bigger the more I think about it, but I am simply a whore for anything Twirelated and can happily suspend my disbelief, turn my brain off and soak up the whole story..warts and all!

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  47. I can totally relate to your feelings on this. After I started reading FF I began to...dislike the books. I've been thinking about re-reading them. I wanted to read NM before the movie but I couldnt bring myself to do it. (which was sad because I ate slept and breathed these books before FF. I neglected my family, I couldnt get enough. I read them 4 times in a row) Maybe I will have better luck with Eclipse.

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  48. Yeah ok, I loved BD. Never got through it the third time though, since I discovered fanfiction and completely gave up on the books. Fanfiction gives me what I need, ya know...

    I have no trouble with the whole Nessie/Jacob thing, neither the incredibly miraculous sperm thing. Hey, it's book about vampires and werewolves. That's not really credible either, right? And SM is a writer, not a biology teacher, so what if she made some things up. Ahem, a lot of things...

    I thought the book was really rushed, though. And the lack of sex kind of annoyed me. But that's why god invented fanfiction, right?

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  50. The first time I read through the book I also speed read it. I couldn't put it down and the first book was amazing- though I do remember flipping back a few pages to look for honeymoon scene and when saw missing screamed, pulled my hair and stomped around living room! But I kept reading. I really didn't mind that she got preggers.. happy family times right? Wrong! Jacob's POV threw me.. I really had (have) no idea why this was necessary. I don't remember getting mad about book as I read it.. I do rememeber at the end I sat there dumbfounded and thought - Hmmmmmm. Did I like it? I started trolling the internet for deleted "scenes" maybe Steph had a bedroom scene out there somewhere! (This is how I found fan fic by the way) Slowly I began to realize how discontented I was with book. Read another version on twilighted. Loved it and cried. (I wrote to that author praising her and thanking her for the "real" Breaking Dawn.) I talked to others who read it and slowly I began to hate the book. When I read through the series the second time, I didn't make it through BD. I am still seriously disappointed in book and afraid of the movie. This is actually one I hope they do rewrite! I don't know what happened. Maybe Steph was rushed? I wish she could rewrite it, but she loves it and thinks it is the fitting ending for her characters. Huh?

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  51. Late to the party as usual...

    I will admit that I truly loved the beginning of BD; it gave me some reprieve from the pent up, shall we say- lust, but The pregnancy was a bit disappointing in that it happened so soon. I would have liked a bit more in their human/vampire married life. What really solidified my angst and loathing of BD were three things, the first started with Renesmee' (Did I just effing type it? I did.) and the cottage in the woods -if anyone finds Snow White tell her to watch the heck out; followed by the convenient pedophilia imprinting- umm, what?; and cherry topped by the complete and utter lack of kick-ass action between the covens and Bella's lameness as a "powerful" vampire. Bella's clumsiness and all around weakness was not vindicated well enough in the end and this was the biggest disappointment for me. I do not want to revisit any of that EVER, EVER, EVER again. It was heartbreaking.

    Like many, I have found a couple of FF's that have filled the BD void adding new covens, strength, and making a true spectacle of Bella as a vampire along with some delicious lemons...Thanks to Twitarded I finally caught on to the FF. Even with my gripes, Stephenie still did a great job overall (over all four books) and I'm sure she was ready to move and leave Bella & Edward to their own devices.

    *My lap top is hating me today.

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  52. I liked the honeymoon part, I went straight to that part in hopes for some action between the two. Sigh. Three books of foreplay is all a girl can handle. I would have liked a wee more details in that department.
    I also really liked when Bella lept from the table as a vampire and still wanted Edward.
    I did get emotional when B and E had to put their baby on Jacob's back in fear they wouldn't see her again. Maybe it's the mom in me, but that got me choked up.
    I liked the closure BD brought. Glad to see Bella become a vamp and be with Edward. Could have skipped the whole battle/learnng about everyone's gifts part. but the movies seem to bring those parts to life for me.
    they can make BD into 2 movies and i'll line up to see both of them!

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  53. Nope. Did NOT like it. I liked it up to the point where Bella started getting morning sickness. At that point, it jumped the fucking shark for me.

    Reasons to Hate BD:

    1) Bella getting all weird on her wedding day. I don't care how self conscious you are. You want to see what you look like in your wedding dress before you go down to see your future husband!!!

    2) Bella pregnant and drinking human blood.

    3) Stupid name for kid (really, Stephenie?? You couldn't call her Carly for her first name??)

    4) Bella too perfect as a vamp. One of the things we loved about Bella was her klutziness and humanity. Made us think that we too could find the man of our dreams with all our little faults.

    5) Jacob became a whiney adolescent

    6) Jacob imprinting on a baby. Sick

    7) Big build-up to a big confrontation which ended up boring as Hell. There should have been a fight and someone....Caias and maybe one Cullen (Rosalie?) could have died.

    I could go on but you get the point.

    I always had a feeling that Stephenie's heart just wasn't in this one...that she wrote it more to tie things up and be done with the Cullens once and for all. I think it was started after the whole Midnight Sun fiasco so perhaps that was the case.

    In any case, I am really REALLY dreading this being made into a movie. It will be a serious blow to Rob, Kristen and Taylor's blossoming careers.

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  54. wow, great to read what everyone has to say. During my first reading...I hated it. Bella so nervous etc. that she couldn't enjoy GETTING MARRIED TO THE MOST GLORIOUS CREATURE IN EXISTANCE???? Charlie needed to get a clue and show some balls. Edward during the pregnancy needed to get some balls too; he was such a disappointment to me during this part.

    I have a soft spot for Jake so I enjoyed his POV chapters and his tit for tat with Rosalie. I dont mind the imprinting part so much...I felt all along that he there was something more to his attraction to Bella. Although, I would have been more happy if he had ended up with Leah (poor Leah!)

    The non-battle ending disappointed and the HEA was a little to much.

    I agree it feels like SM was attempting to wrap it all up with a bow..too tied up for me.

    I am probably one of the few that doesn't want them to even try to film BD. No matter what they do, it is going to be campy and awful, no way around it. If anything, just end it with a nice romantic wedding and honeymoon.

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  55. want2Binforks- Your comment reminded me of that scene in the book where Jacob lobs a bowl (was it a dog food dish??) at Rosalie. I distinctly recall snorting at the hilarity of that scene! :D

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  56. Ok so...I liked Breaking Dawn except for a few things. To ME, the book ended right after Bella woke up. The transformation was AMAZING, I loved reading what she went through for 3 days. But like many of you, I HATE Renesme. HATE HER. Stephanie ruined it by thinking baby could make it better. Kind of like Dexter...you just dont need a baby...it was fine how it was before the creature came along! lol

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  57. I have only read BD and the saga once - gasp! - I know. But I've been thinking about going back for a second round and now after reading all of these posts, I think the books will stay on the shelf for a while longer - definitely after the movies are out.

    I loved BD when I read it because it was the finale. I hated it because it was the finale, but that is all. I never expected any great sex scenes (even though they were greatly wanted) because I had already read on SM website that she wrote the first draft of Twilight for adults and skipped way ahead into the future and adult things, then gave that copy to her sister. Her editors/publishers pointed out that this would be a YA book, so she had to tone everything down.

    Yes the baby name annoyed the hell out of me and I got pretty bored with Jacob's POV and the imprinting thing ooked me out too, but in the end, it was the end and I had to love BD, simply for what it was and just as it was - just as Edward & Bella did the same. I got my HEA and that made me happy.

    So now, I will definitely not go back for a while fearing the re-read will make me insert too much logic into a saga that I fell in love with for all of it's illogical and unrealistic 'magic.'

    Great post and comments - so much of the critiques are true, I just like to stay in my la la land of Edward & Bella bliss.

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  58. HATED IT! And I don't even have the energy to put into words why. I guess that's why I don't have a blog and spend all my time instead on Twitarded. Hello, lazy!

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  59. The first time I read BD, I actually liked it well enough -- except for SM's prissy skimming over the sex on the honeymoon part. I did have problems with the fact that Edward -- my reason for liking the damned series in the first place -- was given the backseat of boringness for the last half of the book while SM once again gave Jacob too much storyline. Here's the thing for me: if she loved Jacob so fucking much, why didn't she just make the whole damned series about him?? I'm convinced she came up with the ridiculous concept of The Spawn just so she could provide her Jakey with his little happy ending.

    And while I'm at it, can I just say that I started reading the whole series again a few months ago...made it through Twilight and New Moon just fine, but then... Eclipse. THAT is the one I have the most trouble with, to tell you the truth. As I read it, I became angrier and angrier with Bella. Her behavior with Jacob was SO annoying -- from her letting Edward (the supposed other half of her fucking SOULl) in the dust while she goes off with that arrogant, manipulative assclown (can you tell I really, really, really have issues with Jacob?), to her "discovering" that she's supposedly IN LOVE with said assclown...UGH. HAAAAATE. I actually threw the book across the room when she ends up kissing him back. And Edward...so very understanding of all this. Yeah right.

    Actually -- and I'm sure this will be an unpopular opinion -- as I reread the books, I became more and more convinced that Stephenie Meyer wrote this whole series so she could indulge her fantasies of having two hot guys in love with her. I know I'm not the first one to think it's a bit convenient that both Bella and SM have long brown hair and brown eyes, plus SM has a pissiness to her (hello, her snit over Midnight Sun) that Bella has as well. Yet somehow, despite the pissiness, everyone just loves Bella, even when she's being a bitchy little twit about getting birthday presents and whatnot. I was kind of sorry I started reading the whole series again, to tell you the truth, because doing so pretty much disillusioned me. And it proved one thing for me for sure -- I was in it for the character of Edward, and certainly not for Bella, who annoyed the hell out of me when I finally let myself admit it. And while I can get past my dislike of Bella in Twilight and New Moon, Eclipse (and to a lesser extent, BD) is a harder pill to swallow.

    For me, fanfic (and Rob Pattinson, of course!) has kept my Twilight fandom alive. In my opinion, the writers in this fandom are so much better than SM in every way that I think it's a shame she's the one who thought of the whole series in the first place. And yes, okay, I'm still pretty fucking annoyed with her for refusing to finish Midnight Sun, but that's beside the point. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to her for writing the whole saga in the first place and providing such a jumping-off point, but sadly I'm certainly not her fangirl anymore. I wish I were, because it really makes me feel out of place in this fandom.

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  60. Yeah, I was pretty pissed off at BD too, but the worst book of the Twilight saga is still better than any book in any other saga in my, uh... book. My teen twi-daughter read it first (back when I was still rolling my eyes at the whole idea of vamps & wolves, before I realized that resistance is futile) and I remember exactly the moment when she yelled and chucked that book across the room. All I have to say is THANK GOD FOR FANFIC!!!!

    (As always, loved your post LKW!!)

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  61. I loved the first half of BD, and really felt "meh" about the second half. I still didn't want it to be over, though.

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  62. I loved BD and have read it many times. Jacob has always annoyed me, so his POV was a bit irritating for me. My first time through I had to go back and reread the part when he imprints on Nessie (for God sakes, what a crap ass name that kid got) because I couldn't believe it. But everyone ended up happy and I am a big sucker for happy endings.

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  63. hated it!! but I didn't want the whole thing to end so I prolonged the agony and read it slowly....afraid to turn the page...bored with the whole thing....sickened by Jacob and the baby thing.....but my love for Edward lives on ;)

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  64. I hated BD except the part till the honeymoon and a handful of Edward and Bella scenes. I hated how it all slowly turned out like some cheap, creepy nightmare - like very, very badly written fan fiction. I hated it so much that I now hope it will never be made into a film. How can a terribly bad book be made into a good film? No way... I really felt cheated of the beautiful universe of the saga with this book.

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  65. BD and I have a love/hate relationship. The whole Renesmee thing is ridiculous (and she should have been named Carlie instead)! But at the same time BD is the culmination of what I waited for through 3 books... I loved the wedding, the honeymoon (mind you I wish it wasn't pg-13!), newborn Bella's first days as a vamp (no ugly frilly blue dresses please!) and especially the ending. I thought the last chapter was the perfect ending. Of course anything that makes Edward happy makes me happy!!

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  66. I loved it. Every friggin' word of it.

    The only thing I felt cheated out of was that the situation removed the DECISION to change Bella from the characters' hands. I thought that was going to be the primary plot pivot, and it 180'd, so it was no longer an issue- the CHOICE was kind of bulldozed over.

    The Jacob thing- it's the only reason I'm able to be 100% Team Edward. Jacob was awesome and a great friend, and if he hadn't gotten the love he deserved, there would always have been a twinge of guilt and sadness.

    and Bella as a vampire- just awesome. Its the first time she's given any power or control, and its nice to see her able to contribute like she never could (or was allowed to) as a human.

    *sigh*

    crap. Now I want to go read it again.

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  67. I liked BD and I don't care who knows it. Here's my ranking: 1) Eclipse, 2) Twilight, 3) BD, 4) NM. I'm an Edward lover, what can I say? Yes, BD was very different from the other books, but I still liked it. I loved the honeymoon, although I LOATHED with a passion the fact that the book was YA at that point. I loved vampire Bella. I hated the mutant child at first, but grew to love her. I actually even liked the fact that Jacob imprints on the kid. I thought it was perfect! Yeah, that's right, I said it. So suck it!

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  68. I liked BD and I don't care who knows it. Here's my ranking: 1) Eclipse, 2) Twilight, 3) BD, 4) NM. I'm an Edward lover, what can I say? Yes, BD was very different from the other books, but I still liked it. I loved the honeymoon, although I LOATHED with a passion the fact that the book was YA at that point. I loved vampire Bella. I hated the mutant child at first, but grew to love her. I actually even liked the fact that Jacob imprints on the kid. I thought it was perfect! Yeah, that's right, I said it. So suck it!

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  69. I read the book twice trying to decide if I liked it or not. Loved the wedding and the happy ever after - but the Jacob/Nessie thing - yuk but it was signposted in Eclipse. So then I listened to the audio versions of the books one after another on my ipod (at work!)and because I caught every word I have to say that I loved it all - BD included.

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  70. It amazes me that some people look at Jacob imprinting on Nessie as a "happy ending"? WTF??? I thought what Stephanie Meyer did to Jacob - tall, dark, handsome, fun, spontaneous, loyal (even when Bella treats him like shit, which is a lot),HOT Jacob atrocious. Jacob gets to stay a virgin till he's..what 23 waiting for the love of his life's half-spawn baby to "grow-up" enough to dry hump her? Again, WTF??? And why would she spoil E & B's honeymoon with a frickin' baby? I honestly think Ms. Meyer has some serious issues with sex. HATED Breaking Dawn. It got thrown at the wall a few times where it stayed on the floor for weeks before I forced myself to pick it up and finish it, only out of loyalty to the first 3 books. How someone could write such beautiful, fascinating shit in the first 3 and then pump out BD....? The mind boggles. I guess that's what happens when it all stops being written for pleasure and you have editors breathing down your neck to "get the next one out there". $$$$$$ Okay, sorry. My rant is over. I guess I'm glad that someone out there liked it. Cos I felt gypped.

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  71. uh, HELLO? Breaking Dawn was my FAVORITE out of the entire stories.
    Want me to shout it to the world?

    BREAKING FUCKING DAWN WAS MY FAVORITE!!!!!!

    And I'm so not ashamed as you can see.

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  72. I did like parts of Breaking Dawn although I felt SM stretched it on in places. I loved Bella's transformation - after the whole chewing the baby out of her part - but the actual change to a vampire....i just loved how her whole world changed and how she experienced it. It's been awhile since I read the story...dang...now you are making me want to reread it and I have too many other books I need to catch up on since this Twivasion and TwiBodySnatcher thing happened to me last summer.

    wv: limmoun...which sounds like lim-moan, which sounds like lem- moan, which well....aw hell, screw work - too many fanfics to read as well!

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  73. i liked it, but a too was way pissed of that it didn't have an actual detailed hunnymoon, i even went so far as to find my personal best hunnymoon sex fanfic and insert i tinto my book, i still haven't read anything not twi related, ff has way to much good twismut out there for me to read anything else, i was grossed out at the whole imprint thing and think that maybe SM might see it in her heart to finish midnight sun and give us all a little somethin somethin for being soooo loyal, lol

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  74. I loooooove BD... And i still do... Team-Edward<3

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  75. @Miss Amanda- I did the same thing with my fanfic for the latter part of BD...I shied away from revealing that in case I was the only one. Ha! Using the kitchen organizer label maker to delete words and alter sentences also works.

    Maybe SM will find inspiration to continue the saga or at least take other endearing characters (Edward please!) on other adventures.

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  76. I think Jacob should have ended up with Leah. They had such a love/hate relationship that it should have built up some sexual tension.

    Bella should have remained human until the battle. In fact, the whole Volturi confrontation could have been triggered by the fact that Bella was still human.

    I really didn't buy that Charlie wouldn't have stormed the doors of the Cullen home in order to see his one and only sick/dying daughter.

    Seriously. Any of you parents out there....if someone told you your only child was deathly ill but please don't visit, would you just roll over and say, "Oh...OK."?

    No. I didn't think so.

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  77. Oh, damn, that was funny! I snorted when I saw the picture of Jacob holding Renesmee and Bella laying on the table all bloody and gross. I digress ... regarding Breaking Dawn **hides behind sofa, covers head**, I actually liked it! Of course, I wondered where the honeymoon details were, but teenage girls are reading it, so really? How much smutty details could I really expect? I was so damned thrilled when Bella was changed.Once I found fanfiction, my interest in any of the books fell to almost zero. Guess I like smut with my Twilight addiction. As much as I love the originals, I love the ff versions (perversions?) so much more. So ... I don't hate BD. It's the last part of the story, and it still holds a place in my heart, and it always will.

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  78. I love love love it!!!! I'm gonna have to say that its my favorite after Twilight. I absolutely love how perfectly everything fell into place. But I was completely disappointed in the lack of sex!I was convinced my fiance stole my book from my steel grip in the middle of the night and cut out the pages I'd been dreaming about since I started the whole saga, oh about 4 days prior, just to spite me.

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  79. I must admit that BD is also my favorite. However, I still don't like that Jacob imrinted on Renes ...Nessemi ....Resma.... whatever her name is. But it is still my favorite. After I finished it though, I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do with my time anymore. I got through all the books in 8 days then couldn't remember what I used to do in the evening before that. So I read them again. Then again.. and so on. I finally got a computer in october and could finally dig into Twilighted.net. Yay.
    Ps. At my work Twilighted.net just became one of the websites that comes up "Access Denied"!!! I'm in a panic. I think it may be time to find a new job.

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  80. I was so excited to get my copy of BD & was totally in love with it & even though I was bitterly disappointed with lack of honeymoon rooting, it was no surprise for me. Then she gets morning sickness & I remember slamming the book on my coffee table & thinking "no SM you havn't". I'm not one to predict the outcome of any book but I knew exactly at that moment what the whole book was going to be and sadly I was right about everyting. I only finished it hoping I would be wrong but sadly I wasn't. I was so disappointed.
    Whenever I voice my opinion to people they all go "it's fiction she can write what ever she wants", yeah fucking der but don't make up shit like they have venom instead of body fluids but then leave sperm behind & have newborn vamps as bloodthirty (poor Jasper) & Bella is so perfect & under control & Carlisle is a doctor & has been a vamp for 300 years but had no idea to warn them about possible pregnancy & yet the fucking cleaning lady at Isle Esme knew everyting! (I'm a cleaning lady, this bit cracked me up, power to the cleaning lady!)
    I knew B & E were meant to be together but the @anon that's 8 places up from me summed up exactly how I felt about what SM did to Jacob.
    @Jude I agree 100% with you in regards to Bella & SM (&Rob!)she annoyed the shit out of me. There were times I just wanted to smack her one & it made me sick that she got everyting she wanted (& didn't even think she wanted ie baby) and the perfect HEA just about made my teeth fall out with the sweetness of it all. I love a HEA but not without some sacrifice.
    It makes me sad that I read a BD fic that I loved. It was not the least bit predictable and still followed all the rules, B & E HEA, Jacob imprinting (on an ADULT) Volturi members being wiped out, bloodthirsty newborn vamp Bella, no killer spawn, Charlie wasn't a pussy yada yada. Like I said it made me sad that it was the story that SM should have written but didn't.

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  81. BTW am I the only person on the planet that actually didn't mind the spawns name? Not the mutant itself but the name. I was shocked that B had that much imagination!She was afterall going to call a boy Edward Jacob! I would have expected her to name it after E's mother which would have been a nicer name anyway. Mind you I still havn't got a clue how to pronounce it. I'm also glad that I'm not the only one dreading the movie. How can they make a decent movie out of pages & pages of nothing?
    w/v grans- (paternal) grans name would have been better.

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  82. Hi bitches! I'm a little late to this great (mass)debate and I don't have much to say except that I thought BD was just 'meh'. I LOVED the ending when Edward was able to read Bella's mind. That ALMOST (ok, not really) made up for the lack of sex. The funny part for me was that before I read it my twi-pusher told me that if she had a teenage daughter she wouldn't let her read BD, so I was ready for some hot sex. So, you could imagine my reaction when there wasn't ANY! WTF? This book was as squeeky clean as they get. Thank God for Fan fiction!

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  83. Thank you! I LOVED Breaking Dawn! It was the best book and had the best ending. The first time I heard that someone (via the blogdom) didn't like BD, I was like "What crack were you smoking?! Did you even READ the book?!" So thank you for letting out your secret. I will tell anyone that BD rocked. If it would have ended any other way I would have been pissed off. I think the last 100 pages I just cried non-stop till the end and then was also in a state of shock thinking I will never be able to read another book again. Breaking Dawn is the shizzle!

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  84. Yeah totally late to the party here (something I won't be for forks!) After Bella got preggers it went downhill for me. I nearly threw the book into the shedder at work. Never liked it. Srk LKW, you're on your own (or not).

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  85. I also loved Breaking Dawn. I had a hard time getting through the Jake POV part the first time through but after I thought about it he more it made sense for him to tell that part of the story. I looked for missing pages in the honeymoon scene as well - but that was one of the reasons I found fanfic and there are plenty of authors who filled that gap to my satisfaction. I do understand why people have problems with BD. The story didn't go at all the way I expected it to but, all in all, I was happy with it.

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  86. OME! You guys kill me! I loved all the books, too, but like you.....I sat there in a daze not knowing what to do with myself when I finished BD! I couldn't read anything that didn't have ExB......so I picked up Twilight and read all four books again.........EIGHT TIMES! That's right.........8 times! I thought I would go insane because I didn't know what else to do! Thank God I learned about FF! And you're right.............I learned to dislike BD a bit after reading all about TwiPorn and TwiSmut! I felt like we got gyped out of all the great sexin' and boning they did! But...........in light of that we have to be thankful for BD or else we wouldn't have all the great Twilight FF we do now. After all, it inspired great writers to come up with their own versions and I couldn't be more thankful.:)

    You ladies kill me with your blog, you crack me up and you think exactly as I do. Your comics kill me as well and always light up my day! Please don't stop:)

    ~Paula

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  87. I was so freakin' excited to get to the honeymoon scene. It had been a few days and hundreds upon hundreds of pages of non-sexual-tension. Like you, I shook the book to see if sex would fall out. I think I just got more pissed from there on out.

    It just seemed like a train-wreck. Not in the vein that everyone wants to see it because it's all horrific and shit. In the vein that it was car-after-car-after-car of plot hurtling off the tracks into some deep and bottomless chasm. How could three books of greatness end in THAT??

    Honestly, and I mean NO OFFENSE to some of the fan-fucking-tastic fanfic writers out there (which I had not read yet -- as I was still in book mode): I accused Stephanie Meyer of not writing Breaking Dawn. I thought that -- possibly -- it was fanfic. There were so many plot-holes and contradictions and it just didn't. make. sense. Why would Jasper want to kill Bella over a drop of blood but not try to kill her while she sat there drinking gallons of it? I'll stop there. Because bitches, I could go on. So could all of you.

    Frankly, I spend a ridiculous amount of time pondering how they are going to film Edward biting through Bella's uterus in the film-version. I also say a little prayer that whoever directs it just takes on a more plausible plot line and lets a damn vampire war happen.

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  88. I love BD. I have read it several times, and yes I admit there are issues with it, but I just can't help myself. When I re-read it I usually skip over the middle (the pregnancy stuff) but I love the beggining and the end. Bella as a vampire is great. The ending drags for me a bit, but I also like getting to meet the new charachters

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  89. Waaay late... I too loved BD. I never understood the hate. I hope Summit can do the movie justice.

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  90. @Dangrdafne: did you just read my mind? I think SM did a fantastic job at staying true to herself and writing what she was comfortable with. I'm reading all the books for the fourth time in a row (I don't know when I'll be able to stop picking Twilight rignt back up after the last page of BD...)Breaking Dawn is sort of like New Moon for me: there's stuff I know that's coming and I'm not looking forward to (break up in NM, when Bella finds out she's pregnant in BD) because in my opinion it's where the brain porn stops (I'm a mom, and I hate seeing the honeymoon come to an abrupt ending because of a effing unwanted pregnancy: how to distroy the romance). But somehow SM still totally pulls it off for me, and the story just works, there's always the new element that makes you keep turning pages. I'm just a little frustrated that the honeymoon was so short (not just for the sex, I would have love to see them prepare to go to Dartmouth or whatevs, also I would have wanted Bella's change to be a more sensual experience). Renesmee is a fugly name, there's no debating that. To my surprise, I loved hearing Jacob's point of view, he is hilarious, and I love that no one died (I had trouble explaining to people why I spent 3 days crying because of all the deaths in Harry Potter). I cried in BD when Bella makes the decision to send the baby and jake away, (and when Edward calls him brother, son,...)I know, I have issues.
    My biggest frustration was the way-too-short ending after the non-battle that lasted for so long, I would have loved a little MORE HEA (e.g. Edward's POV, a pendant to Midnight Sun, of the scene where he finally reads her mind. or a "50 years later" from his POV.)
    I'm insatiable for gooeyness (yep, Eclipse is my favorite).

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  91. @neverthink Hey hon! I read we share a certain, er, demographic...although I'm looking at you in my rearview mirror just a wee bit.

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  92. Breaking Dawn is really polarizing. I always feel like my thoughts on it have to be prefaced with an oath of loyalty. "I love Twilight, but..." There are parts of BD I enjoyed, the humorous bits especially, but mostly it squicked, bored and disappointed me. If I could influence Summit I'd have them shoot a glorious wedding, spend a few watery minutes of foreplay dancing hard on the boundaries of PG 13, have Edward pull Bella out into the moonlit water and fade to black. Tack that sucker onto the end of Eclipse and call it a day. PLEASE. I really worry that BD will become a laughingstock of unintentional campiness driven by the fact that since it can't be rated R, it's destined to revert to camp at a PG rating, and I really want the actors and fans to come out of the series in one self-respecting piece.

    Dirty little secret is that I adore MarkreadsTwilight(so you don't have to); Mark's just finished the last chapter of BD after covering all 4 books. I've gotten more laughs and insights from that iconic blog and many times wondered how on earth I failed to take issue with certain elements of the books on my own. Swept away by the Pretty and not thinking straight, I guess. But I still love them in the end and have gotten alot of joy and entertainment from the series, despite its imperfections.

    There are many good honeymoon fics, but my favorite non-smutty BD fic is beautifully constructed from Edward's perspective from the birth scene until Bella wakes up. It is both glorious and gloriously painful. If you haven't read Between Heaven and Hell by owenic, it is SO worth your time.

    Enjoyed the post tonight, great ideas and graphics once again, ya'll never disappoint!

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  93. so for me, breaking dawn ranked #4 of the 4 books for me. um, to clarify, that would be the last - the worst - the least - favorite of the saga. but i didn't hate it.

    on a positive note, it was the quickest of all the reads - probably cuz i skipped thru all the wolf pack shit.

    having said that, it does have it's place.

    the wedding; the mother fucking cock blocking honeymoon (epic fail on the fucking bits - couldn't they at least have had some heavy petting, hand job or anything oral besides biting pillows? i mean c'mon - throw us a tit or ass snack or two!)

    and then there is the controversial delivery scene.

    that is one of my favorite parts - snaps for the uber gruesome bloodiness of it all.

    seriously - edward eating his way to the baby? how fucking cool is that shit? can't wait to see THAT on the big screen - and can you imagine THAT in 3D?

    as dr. frankenfurhter would say, "I shudder in...an...tici...pation"

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  94. My biggest problem with BD wasn't the lack of sex, for me it was Jacob. Seriously, get a fucking clue and move on boy! And Bella! I mean, damn girl, you're a married woman. Edward is so whipped he lets Bella get all "happy" when she see's Jake walk through the door and trash talk his family. Then theres the whole Rosalie crap. I mean, what the hell happened with Alice? Thats her best friend, dying with a mutant baby inside of her, and Alice has a fucking headache, ignoring her? I got so tired of the wolf plot. BORING! I thought Jake would run off with Leah but that went nowhere. And then the book got good again; Bella was a vampire. Cool! This could be redeemed. But noooo, Stephenie has to take a collosal dump on my hopes by bringing in all these new characters we don't give a shit about. The infalible Volturi end up being punked by the Cullens and wuse out on a fight. And on top of that, what pissed me off more then anything, was how "Rennesme" wanted Jacob over Edward. A vampire who believed he deserved nothing, finally got love, a wife and a daughter after a century of self loathing... only to have it taken away by Jacob Black. I hate Jacob Black! I want to kick his annoying ass.

    *panting*

    Thankyou. I needed that. I haven't revisited that tragedy of a book since it came out. Maybe it's time to try again.

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  95. It was my favorite one. I wrote a post about this a week ago, actually (I'm new, so almost no one reads me ... yet. Hi TC!) - BD and Twilight are my faves. I LURVE the HEA. They damn well better make a halfway decent movie (with some g.d. smutty honeymoon scenes), or I will be livid!

    I read BD for the second time right after the first, too - in fact, I read the saga for the first time and then read it in reverse order for my second time. :-) It seemed logical then...

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