Anyhoo, as I’m scrolling through the links I stumble across one that I had never seen before - SocialLuxe Lounge, which sounded pretty darn interesting. I mean, I'm social(ly inept) and lounges are synonymous with booze so it sounded right up my drunken alley. So, I clicked away to see what it’s all about.
BlogLuxe Awards? What in holy hell is this?! I scroll down through the categories, Cleanest Blog (definitely not us), Most Inspiring (not unless inspiring someone to take a shit in RPattz’s trailer counts) and, oh wait, Funniest Blog. Hmmm, I know I tend to wander more on the delusional side of my life but I think we're pretty fucking funny. And, holy-vampsicle-custard!!! We've been nominated!!
Suhweet!! When I’m done doing the happy dance in my chair (which probably looks like a cross between me dry humping an imaginary friend and having a seizure of some sort at the same time) and squealing ‘fuck yeah!’ under my breath a couple of times, I check out our competition. And start laughing. And I mean with them, not at them. No matter who wins, we're in good company here.
Um, CakeWrecks, anyone? That is some seriously funny shit. I’ve spent more than a few hours pissing my pants over some of those pictures. Hell, we even link to them on our site and they have NOTHING to do with Twilight! Except for this picture from their site. If you haven't checked them out you really should.
But we’re too excited that someone even considered us to worry about our competition. We’re cool that we’ll probably ending up eating the dust of more than a few hysterical blogs. Let's face it - it comes with the Twitarded territory. No worries though; we’ll probably end up doing the online version of writing their names and phone numbers on the virtual bathroom wall when everything’s said and done. I ain’t called Jerkface for nothing…
I have to be honest here - I haven't read a single other blog that is up for the same award as this one. It's not because I'm a snotty twatwad or anything like that. I mean, I plan on it. It's just because not a single one of them pertains to Twilight.
Oh. Mah. Gahd. We're the only Twilight themed blog up for nomination!! Do you know what this means, fellow Twitards? It means we're infiltrating their non-Twilight little lives. Buhwahaha... [rubs hands together like I imagine Rosalie doing when Bella's all sorts of knocked up...]
So, vote for us (rules here) and show everyone that we Twitards are a force to be reckoned with! We won't take anything less than being in the top... 100 (I have motivation problems, I think).
But what other blogsite has stories about fecal matter, grown women making complete and utter asses out of themselves AND pornography? Huh, huh?
I want to thank whoever nominated us for this bloggy distinction. I have to admit, it’s exciting that our little insular Twi-world is getting recognition. And about time! There is a stigma about being a 30+ chick who digs Twilight and it’s time we show the rest of the boring lame world that we Twitards are funny, smart and like to talk about sex and bodily functions. We’re sort of like a twelve year old boy, sixteen year old girl and a thirtyish woman all rolled up in one body. But not nearly as horrifying. Well, maybe...
Soooo. Please vote for us!! You can vote every single day! It would make us all mushy and gushy inside and maybe RPattz will finally realize that he's turned on by our antics, poopy jokes and pornography. Click the button below. Make all us Twitards proud to be... well, fucking Twitards!
And in case you've forgotten, we always have this fine... yummy man...