[thanks to Stoney G. Pumpkin at TwiSoup for the Robalicious cake!]
You know how we're always saying we're stupidly late for shit? Like, important stuff that we probably should have talked about a million years ago but just never get around to it because we're either ridiculously lazy or real life is being a douche-donkey or maybe we just got abducted by aliens and were... unavailable.
This is one of those times.
One year and two days ago... Twitarded was born. See? We even showed up late to our own fucking anniversary party.
I can't help but sit down and look back at this past year - all of it - and holy shit, what a crazy, hysterical and fuckery-fun-filled trip its been.
I think it's safe to say 2009 has been a good year. Oh sure, in almost every other way you stack it up, 2009 blew chunks, but here in the fandom and for me and Snarkier Than You, it was a great year. No, a fantastic year. Amazing. And SO much has happened. You have to remember -- when STY and I stumbled into Twiland, we were like innocent little virgins. We had no fucking idea what we were getting ourselves into. Our cherries were immediately, and thoroughly, popped. Both front and back.
While I'm getting all nostalgic and shit, I just wanted to reflect back on some of our more... interesting Twitarded moments.
For nearly 12 months we've all been enamored with RPattz hawtness [which may or may not be lethal] and discussed him to the point where perhaps a mental health professional might need to be called in. I was also lucky to have my own close encounter with the precious, which technically wasn't that close but whatever - don't piss on my parade. It made STY green with envy and made for an interesting day at "work."
We participated in some extreme whiskey-induced fuckery one disgustingly humid, rainy day in August to see Twilight in Central Park that resulted in one of us 'misplacing' her glasses somewhere outside the apartment and calling the other one in a total hungover panic.
On top of that, STY and I attended the New Moon Premiere with TwiCrack and Lorabell, from Confessions of a TwiCrack Addict and got to see Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz. And Kellan Lutz even spoke to me (nay, proclaimed his undying LOVE to me), to which I responded by acting like a total fucktard, natch.
STY and I also got a crash course lesson in fanfiction and lemons, lemons, lemons galore. The sexual exploits of FanFic Edward and Bella have left all of us panting and squirming in our seats and most definitely brought out the... er, best, in us (and made for many a happy if-not-slightly-befuddled s/o). There was even that 'incident' involving a double dog dare, a wall of dildos and Mini-Edward but thankfully no one was banned or arrested. Yet. There's always 2010 for that...
Our searches of all things Twilight and smexy has been a very strange [and sometimes disturbing] little trip through the interwebs, including one very awkward email trail with Mommy (not a)Jerkface regarding dishwasher-safe sex toys.
The saga has been discussed, critiqued, judged harshly and pretty much abused in every which way possible, from our issues with Breaking Dawn to the lame-ass-what-the-fuck wardrobe in New Moon. Oh, and I have two words for you: Love. Custard.
...and thanks to TwiCrack for her timely assist in ruining pudding for all of us, indefinitely.
We've lured family members into our fold, some against their will, which has resulted in some rather disgruntled but hilarious emails.
There were some growing pains at Twitarded and I can assure you that STY has most definitely lived up to her Jersey Shore nickname (thanks to the lovelies at Twigasm): Tan-trum [note from STY: fuck you, whore flap]. These moments generally produced some of our most holy-fuck-I-can't-believe-you-posted-that, including the NSFW Dildo post [which STY wrote and posted entirely from her office] as well as the infamous poopy post.
It's no secret that Twitarded has been all-consuming for STY and I. "Real life" is...different. And a relative term at this point. Our houses are in shambles and I'm honestly trying to remember the last time I made the bed but it's really truly been worth it. Of course, ML and Mr. Snarky deserve their own little shout out for not divorcing us, smothering us in our sleep, or putting the Full Size Edwards through the shredder. So, thank you guys for your patience.
But most of all. Thank YOU. We are all giddy and girly over this fuckawesome community we've discovered (and the tawdry corner of it that we've managed to carve for all of us to hang out in) and we love all you donkey-twats more than you can possibly realize.
Now that we have one year under our belt, this second one doesn't seem so daunting. The wheels of our little dirty minds have been spinning like coked-out hamsters on a wheel lately and let's just say that we have some fun shit in mind for the upcoming year. Starting...TOMORROW! We'll be celebrating this anniversary thing - albeit belatedly - all week so stay tuned for more celebrating, give-aways, misty-eyed reminiscing, and general Twidarded mayhem.